Don’t forget they’re also snobs and super stuck on their selves. Women around here are champions of the Female Mind Game® No thanks, I’d rather go south and meet a nice Belle.
I think it is OK for a woman to ask a man out. Even so I won’t do it because my experiences with men have been bad and I have almost zero self esteem left.
HEY! Women around DC are not all snobs. Well, I’m not. I’ll agree with magdalene…I would love to find someone cute, funny, and intelligent aorund here. Alas, haven’t found him yet.
(and the ones I did find all turned me down. Sigh.)
And soulsling - how YOU doin’? 
goes off to find her garters
…now where did i put my suitcase, and where’s that map to DC…
blushes
Hmmm…maybe I should find those garters. Come on down anytime you want, soul.
soulsling – I would but you can’t type!
I have no problem asking anyone out for a date. If they say no then that’s fine. I was just asking. I really wonder at folks who are so afraid of rejection they won’t even ASK! Come on! Has anyone ever pointed to your privates and laughed in your face after you asked them out?
About the only time I get some really bizarre reactions is when I’m asking another female out. Some women can’t just take it as a complement. They get all freaked out and call me names or start asking in hushed tones, “What made you think I was gay?”.
Speaking as one of those chicks who is so scared of rejection: Because after being turned down EVERY FREAKING TIME IN MY LIFE, I have no self-esteem left to try and ask again. Sad? Yes. But true.
I’m (soon to be) 23. I have asked out 4 different guys. Two accepted (one later became my bf briefly), and two declined (one later asked me out and claimed at the time I’d asked him out, he’d had issues at home). So I’m batting at least .500 here. I have zero qualms when it comes to asking a guy out.
The one thing that kept me from asking some guys out was that I couldn’t figure out if they were interested in me. I wasn’t sure if I was mistaking playful flirtation for genuine interest. If I’d had clearer signs, I would have asked out more.
But when you get down to it, I think that 1) the whole idea of asking out a guy honestly hasn’t crossed a lot of girls’ minds, and 2) if it did, they probably didn’t have the guts to go through with it. Probably used some of the “It’s his job to do the asking out” rationale to justify it.
When single, I have always asked guys out. It has never bothered me when I’ve been turned down. Let’s face it. I’m a handful, and not for everyone. I’m either really egotistical, or really confident, so fear of rejection has never been a problem. I see someone I like, I go for it.
Hmmm… I guess that shyness has never been an issue for me either…
As a matter of fact, yes!
But why is that bad? What with all the complaints about sexual harrassment, domestic violence, date rape, and “unwanted sexual advances”, you’d think that women would want a little more passivity in men. The extent to which women feel threatened by these things makes them that much more likely to respond negatively to a man’s advances in a given situation.
And if she doesn’t think you’re a pushy jerk or a violent animal, she’ll think you’re a nerd. There’s no telling what sort of man a woman does or does not want. Plus, women often go through periods when they rule out certain kinds of involvement (relationship only, no casual sex or vice-versa, or nothing at all for the time being). And then there’s the dreaded celibacy movement.
Both sexes have to worry about looks and availability, but that’s all women have to worry about. For men that’s just the tip of the iceberg for factors reducing your chances. Things ought to be considerably less intimidating for women, but we’ve got this silly, outdated rule holding many of them back. I’m glad to see many women have thrown it away; the rest should follow suit.
I think most younger women are comfortable asking men out. I know all my friends are. I say younger woment because I don’t have any friends who are much older than thirty so I don’t want to speak for a party I don’t know. I think it is important for people to remember that dating, is initially about looking and spending time with someone you think you might what to spend some more time with. I think a women can see people she’s interested injust as well as a man can see someone they are. So, it shouldn’t be a big deal, either way. I think some women are a little nervous that men will reject them for being so open. (I said SOME)
It’s funny, or it’s really sad, but when I look at the posts a theme emerges. A lot of people are leery of getting slammed. This applies to asking for dates as well as most every part of life. Even this board! I guess I would be termed a Newbie (based on low post count). That first post is not easy, you wonder if anybody will respond, welcome you, etc.… Big lesson, if you don’t try, you’ll never fly!
If you are as old as me, you’d be quite confused about what women want.
First, 50s women were dependent on men, men became strong to attract them, then 60’s was a time a woman could be free. Then came 70’s, women’s lib came along & men became wimps in order to attract them; but women could do things for themselves.
Today, it’s just confusing because the woman either wants you to treat her like she is equal, don’t open the doors for her or she wants you to open the doors for her, pay for her meals, Etc. What type of woman you get is anyone’s guess.