It seems like it would be more work, that’s all. But I’ve never been in such a relationship so I’m not in a position to judge.
My best friend’s parents, when I was in high school, invited another woman into their relationship, and what ended up happening was her father divorced her mother and married the second woman. She wasn’t exactly bitter about it, but it wasn’t a great experience for her, and later her own marriage fell apart when her wife started punishing her for wanting a monogamous relationship.
Based on this I would gently suggest extra caution when children are involved.
My own parents were monogamous, and underwent a nasty divorce when I was a teenager. I think your advice is good, but it’s good for everyone in a relationship, not just people in non-monogamous ones.
Yeah, a woman i know was in a polyamorous relationship with a guy and another woman, and eventually the other two dropped her. And a mutual friend, who is only close to that one woman, says, “that’s why polyamory is bad! " But i know plenty of monogamous people who get dropped for someone else. I think that’s just “relationships can go sour".
“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
― Anne Lamott
Yeah, as I said, the evidence points to the dangers of ignoring treatments that even the bible is likely to advise. Don’t ignore not only doctors, but even music and relaxation that, as noted, defeat demons without having any need of dependence on higher powers as it is.
Of course, I don’t subscribe to a god, or demons, that interfere with human affairs; but while I can grant that bestiality is destructive, polygamy is not quite. Heck, in the bible the contradictions are legendary regarding polygamy, but in essence, it seems that in ancient (and modern) times the “deed” was allowed as long as you are powerful.
In a related aside: Seeing the current spectacle of very religious people out there, supporting and condoning the current powerful rulers of the US, makes me more confident in my take that a lot of the religious leadership are still having reprehensible standards when they justify or look away regarding what the powerful do with their sexual activities.
Fie to that. God is clearly not intervening or telling his/her prophets to do the right thing.
I do believe in demons. I don’t believe in the kind of manifestations you are describing. I believe a demon is something that can impact the way you think. In this case, I could easily believe that you have so much guilt over your porn habits, and something, call it a demon or call it your subconscious, is causing you to have these experiences where you think you are seeing a woman/demon.
I think you definitely should talk to a therapist about what you are experiencing, but I would also encourage you to talk to a pastor, if you can find a good one. (I would avoid evangelical/megachurches, and recommend “mainline” pastors)
Yeah, I mean, I’d take the Vatican’s side that any actual demonic manifestations would be a rare extreme thing and better left to trained professionals to handle.
That said, I am impressed by how well my fellow Dopers have handled this one. In another time the thread would have ended at:
Dear OP:
Demonic beings haunting you
Do. Not. Exist.
(Well, not so much ended, but descended into near unanimous mocking ridicule. At least now there was concern about their health.)
Got to say, can’t fault this Churchillian approach right now.
‘If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.’
IIRC when he was found reviewing specific bits of tapes showing attractive young women, there had already been a history of young women complaining about his behavior around and toward them. I don’t know the specifics of the complaints, other than to say that several young women had been motivated enough to speak out about it, and that whatever he had done in these cases did not rise to the level of fireable offenses. I understood that his use of the tapes for personal entertainment, when added to the existing history, reached that level.
Welp, without knowing about your cultural background, it seems like you were brought up in a strict religious setting. You felt your every move was being watched for moral violations, and the guilt ate away at you.
I had a roommate like that named Tony when I lived in a boarding house while going to college. One of the other housemates named Matt was an ardent atheist, and enjoyed taunting Tony and saying AVE SATANE to him. Tony later told me he saw a pentagram on our door, heard demonic voices, and freaked out.
Tony came from a small town in the mountains, and hadn’t been exposed to “big city” life, so I think his vision was fear that God was punishing him for living in blasphemous surroundings. He had been exposed to foreign ideas that went against his religious training, not only with Matt teasing him, but getting wrung by a major university weeding out the academic weaklings. He dropped out shortly afterward and moved back to Mayberry.
A quick google of Jazibiyya reveals the name means “charm, attractiveness” in Arabic. You could have read that before and attached that name to your nighttime visitor. It could be that your guilt over impure thoughts led to this horror story, and telling it to us is a way projecting your guilt outside yourself. It wasn’t me who sinned. A malevolent force made me do it.
Look, we all need help. I’m still going to therapy after decades to keep my head from exploding. Talking things out with a professional will help you understand why you’re experiencing these events. The therapist will help you identify the roots of your anguish and help you to deal with them. Telling these stories to strangers on the internet isn’t going to give you the validation you want.
I spent some time as a tween/teen as an evangelical Christian, including a stint as a Pentecostal. I had some wild experiences during that time, including a friend’s Mom asking me to perform a demon exorcism of her child after she collapsed on the ground unconscious. We kids were scared out of our damned minds after my friend regained consciousness and we slept in the kitchen because the bedroom didn’t feel safe. I felt a pervasive sense of evil at that church and I was often afraid to be alone because I believed demons were everywhere and only prayer could keep them away (this was probably one part OCD scrupulosity, in retrospect.)
So I am well aware of how things can “feel" evil or holy. I’ve spoken in tongues. I’ve felt evil and benevolent presences.
I never saw or had any sex with demons, and neither did anyone else I hung out with. That’s not an experience in the range of normal even for radical denominations.
Also many, many years later, long after I became an atheist, I had a grand mal seizure and I immediately understood that is what happened to my friend. My friend had a seizure and instead of calling 911 her mother enlisted a twelve year old me to shout the devil out of her.
They were definitely pro pornography. They also loved, orgies, homosexuality, bisexuality, bestiality, masturbation, threesomes, prostitution, getting high and getting drunk. In fact they would argue with me and say that they love the lGBT and support all those behaviors.
I have see a few people say that seeing demons is a radical thing and no denominations experience that. What’s so radical about it when the bible Cleary says Jesus and his apostles regularly cast them out. One guy was running around naked in the dessert cutting himself. A child had a demon attempt to kill him many times according to the bible.
The Catholic church still practices exorcism as well as The Eastern Orthodox Church, Lutheran Churches.
What about the large multitude of people online who claim to have been under demonic influence and either went to a church for help or performed what is called a self exorcism?
What you say is very possible. I will say that I do no ever remember hearing the name jazibiya before, but its possible I could heard it in passing. Also to be totally clear I am not blaming any being, angelic, demonic or earthly for my behavior. Every thing I did I did because I wanted to do it. Demons do not have the ability to force you to do any thing. They can attempt to coerce you into things, but the final decision is all yours.
I am no longer having the events. It seems that praying, reading the bible, fasting has helped a great deal. I am not looking for any type of validation. I just thought it would be interesting to seer what people thought.
As far as the therapy goes I may actually do that as some point as it sounds as if it may be interesting. Have you found your therapy to be an intriguing experience.
My own company had a meeting about something similar. We are allowed to view footage, but not freeze the camera and linger on breast and backsides. I think one guy even had saved a picture of some one bending over as his home screen. Dude got fired from what I understand
I don’t think what you have stated fits the situation at my job site though.
I’ve done therapy twice. The first time was a waste of time. The second time it was hard work, but very helpful. Intriguing? Not really. But it helped me better understand my situation and make good choices about how i wanted to live with it.
If you try therapy, look for a therapist who is religion-tolerant, for lack of a better way to say that. You need a therapist who speaks the same cultural language as you, and with whom you can communicate clearly.
I’m a fan, but you might need to try more than one therapist.