Do You Ever Feel Overwhelmed By Your Pets?

In My Humble Opinion
21

You’re far from alone in being frustrated with the pets you love sometimes. I was having a shitty, shitty day last week, and then my cat comes yowling and running around and “PLAY WITH ME NOW! PLAY WITH ME NOW!” She doesn’t care that she’s getting on my last nerve; she only knows that her favourite thing in the world is playing with mommy. Fortunately, chasing her away a couple of times is play for her, and eventually she gets tired of running around and falls asleep again.

I agree with Giraffe 100% - the pets can go outside while you cool off. The pets can sleep outside your bedroom if they’re waking you up too early and being another source of stress. Our cats are trained to not sleep in the bedroom with us, but when we moved house, my cat started freaking out at the bedroom door (scratching and howling and throwing herself at the door for hours at night). We finally had to get a cat repellent for outside the door to re-train her properly - we were at our wit’s end with her, and of course we were more stressed because she was sleep-depriving us. Some nights she got shut into the darkened bathroom after a few hours of acting up - I didn’t feel great about it, but it didn’t do any permanent damage to her.

22

I so agree.

This is excellent advice.
Simple, but such a perfect strategy.
I went through a similar scheduling/stress scenario years ago, and it really, really made a difference to just let them out to mill around for a few minutes while I shifted into a lower gear.

I agree about the stress, and the sleep deprivation.
But even if you just first try CrazyCatLady’s idea of decompressing a bit when you first come home, you might feel just a bit better.
I hope you are able to sort things out, improve your job situation and mitigate the stress, PapSett. You certainly don’t sound like a bad person to me.

23

Also, what CrazyCatLady said.

24

Thanks you guys, lots of good advice here. And yes, I know I did a shitty thing but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my animals. I do, more that anything.

We’ve been having a quiet day here today; it’s too hot to leave anyone out for very long, so they are all camped out at my feet, sound asleep, and everyone gets up and follows me if I move from room to room. I shared some smoked chicken with them and have been working hard at not raising my voice at anyone.

With the coming of the hot weather, I have to leave the dogs all inside while I’m at work. I have 2 large (80 lbs +) dogs and 2 small (under 12 lbs) so I can’t put them all out together unsupervised; they all get along wonderfully, but they play HARD, and while I know the big dogs wouldn’t hurt the littles on purpose, accidents happen.

The Setters have their own bedroom for when I’m not home; if worse comes to worse, I can put them in there at night. Honestly, the one that causes the most problems with the 6 AM wake up call is my 1 year old Papillon- she is an early riser, and very persistant. She enjoys getting a squeaky toy and standing on my pillow squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak… the Setters were always happy to sleep in with me till she came along.

I know several have suggested therapy, and I know that would be a great suggestion. but my insurance doesn’t kick in till Sept. so till then, I’m SOL.

Again…I want to say thank you for taking the time to listen & offer suggestions. It means a lot to know I’m not totally alone.

25

What I would probably do is run the little ones out very quickly for a potty break while the big ones stay in their room, then put them in the bathroom or something while you let the setters out. While everyone is out of your hair, sit on your ass and do nothing, speak nothing, think nothing for a little while.

26

To the OP, yes, I currently feel overwhelmed by my pet. I realize I am a terrible “owner”. I also realize that she is acting out and exhibiting other issues as a result of reflecting MY/household issues.

This knowledge really doesn’t help the situation. :frowning:

This is a cat I’ve had with me for about 6 yrs or so. A stray I took in and even moved cross-country rather than abandon. (ftr, this move was over 3 yrs ago…not the root of her issues…she adjusted fine)

The suggestion of finding another home is not always an option, esp. for cats. My choices came down to dropping her off at a shelter where I knew the odds were good she’d be killed (in that state as in this one, the no-kill shelters have a LONG waiting list and the rate of kills at the others is terribly high), find her a good home (fat chance with an older cat) or continuing to assume responsibility for her.

There has been a lot of stress/upheaval in our home lately…my husband of 23 yrs. died a few years ago. Honestly, just dealing with THAT and our kids has consumed most of my time and energy. Plus, I am a full time college student.

I REALIZE that I am not giving her the attention or affection she needs. I know that I really do not even need/want a pet at this point in my life. Sorry, she is NOT my “furkid”…she’s a CAT. I have REAL kids to worry about. :rolleyes: And after having lost a spouse, um, forgive me if I am not terribly freaked out over the prospect of losing a pet. Terribly politically incorrect, I know, but be real.

In the last yr or so, she has gotten sick. Lost weight, runny, frequent bowel issues, constantly begging/whining for food (she always has good quality dry at hand and gets a can of wet a day), jumping on counters and getting into food, shitting or vomiting “strategically” (yes, animals CAN do these things intentionally to make a point…a cat I had 20 yrs ago made her point clearly when my BF and I moved in together and he didin’t like her sleeping on the bed at night; we came home one day to find a huge pile dead center of our bed and HIS records scratched up and sprayed with piss.;))

YES, I TOOK her to the vet. He did blood tests on a litany of issues and said, “Hmmm, by all these numbers, I’d say she is exceptionally healthy.” Great. $275 to find out she is “healthy.” :mad:

I still need to take him a stool sample, but have to find out the cost (that sort of money is not pocket change to a widow with kids living on SS and student loans).

But I find it interesting that she was FINE (not whining/crying, not running to the litter box every 20 minutes, perfectly content) for the 48 hours or so after she was drugged at the vet. Even after they wore off and she was up and around, she was her old self. Maybe she just needs sedatives? :confused:

ANYWAY, yes, I get SO angry/frustrated sometimes and feel like throwing her off the damn balcony or just taking her to a shelter. No, I DON’T, nor do I HIT her (most I have done is knock her gently down off the counter when I catch her up there getting into something) or yell at her (“Get down!”)

She still sleeps every night in my bed, curled up next to me and after plenty of petting/loving. I don’t hate her…I just realize I am not currently capable of being a decent companion to her. Alternatives? Wish I knew. :frowning:

27

PapSett - what sort of exercise are these dogs getting? With you out of the house for so long, they’re going to need a whole lot more activity when you get home. And frankly, if your stress level is that high, ramping up your exercise would do you a world of good as well.

28

We just got a third dog. My gf is in advertising. It is a stressful career and she works many hours. I own a business. The economy thing has been a bitch. I still may have to take away healthcare from my employees due to rising costs.

Our pets seem to be one thing that keeps it all real.

Alcohol and cannabis help, sure. But the pets are a big thing.

If, after a really horrible day, the cat pukes in my shoe it makes us laugh and we both chip in to clean up. If one of the dogs digs up a new planting, we. . .replant! If our pets did not serve this purpose I can’t imagine having them. Sometimes it seems the choice is between laughing and crying. Choose laughing.

Exercise is a big thing. I take the dogs for a long walk/swim everyday that I can, typically 3 days a week. When we get home form a walk the dogs and I are all hungry and tired, so we eat and sleep.

29

Fake it til you make it is bad advice, but there may be a way to kind of make it work if you can take Juliana’s advice and find a mentor. One thing that has worked for me is using specific scripts, so if I don’t really understand the situation I still know what to say to the customer while I’m figuring out how to get it resolved. It feels awful to be flustered and unsure in a customer service job, but it will get easier and you will get better at it.

Chances are you’ll notice soon that the issues your customers are calling about repeat regularly, having some stock phrases to get you over the training hump can make you sound more confident while you’re working to become more confident.

Customer service is so draining, there are days when I get home and just sit there staring at the wall, and of course my dog wants all my attention and I feel awful that I don’t have the energy to give it to her. They notice that you’re unhappy and they’re just trying to love you out of a bad mood :slight_smile: if only we could appreciate that when we really need to the most.

30

What does your doctor say? Are you dealing with your issues? It sounds like you aren’t making progress. I can see a couple of things going on, but SDMB is not the place for medical help.

One thing I’d like you to try though is relaxing. I was in a similar situation as you, but I found out it was because my brain was pumping out adrenaline 24/7, so I was unable to get any rest. For me, once I found out, it was simple enough to put myself into a relaxed state of mind. For the first time in maybe 20 years, I felt rested after a night’s sleep. I have also gained weight, and my emotions are more balanced. If you are thinking about 20 things at once and your mind is always racing (even when you are messing around on bulletin boards,) you might also be an adrenaline junkie.

31

Many of the issues I am dealing with at work DO repeat, but there are plenty of things that pop up every day that I have NO idea how to handle and want to curl up in the corner drooling. I can usually get someone over to walk me thru it, but it’s still mentally draining.

The dogs are getting about the same amount of exercise they always did, several walks a week, a huge backyard the Setters run in constantly (You could bounce quarter off their hindquarters) and the Papillons get their extra running playing fetch. I have compromised breathing problems, and when it’s this hot & humid I can’t be outside all that much, short stretches at a time.

I have not been able to go to my doctor in over a year, having been out of work and without insurance. I won’t actually have insurance until Sept. and when it kicks in, I am going to be shopping for a new doctor; mine has not b een very supportive of my depression.

32

Somehow you have to learn to compartmentalize. Leave work at work. Do whatever ritual you need to do before coming home to your pets, but get work out of your mind before dealing with them.
I’ve been very stressed out and I have 7 Jacks waiting for me at home, they want to jump and do their happy dance the minute I walk thru the door, so I can’t walk thru that door until I am ready to deal with it. Each of them also want to be the only one I play with when I get home and this can result in a little growling and snapping.
Meditate a bit after work, clear your mind and de-stress, be aware this is necessary for your peace and sanity.

33

Honey, I’ll tell you the same things I tell the new receptionists we get who have no previous vet experience.

  1. There’s a lot to learn in this job, and you will not learn it all in two weeks, or even two months, and you’ll still be learning new things after two years. I have been doing this for 10 years, and I still have to go get help sometimes. Our boss, who has more training and experience in this field than the rest of us put together, he still has to go to the medical journals and such for answers sometimes. It really really really really really is okay to need help. Really.

2.) It’s okay to tell the person you’re helping that you don’t know everything and need help to make sure they get what they need and deserve. Really. You just have to say it right. The best phrasing I’ve found is this: “I’m going to need to put you on hold for a moment–I’m new (or not certain, if you’re no longer new) and want to double-check a couple of things to make sure I don’t tell you something that’s not right.” This a) scooches the caller a bit more onto your side, because people who are not utter assholes can and will empathize with being new on a job and worried about screwing something up, b) makes you look concerned with making sure they get the absolute best care your organization can possibly give them, which further mollifies them, and c) makes you look like you do know a fair bit about what’s going on with the situation, even if you feel like you really don’t. This buys you time to ask someone, look stuff up, hyperventilate into a paper bag, whatever you gotta do. If you can’t find the answer within a reasonable hold time, get a name and number and tell them the person you need to speak to isn’t immediately available, but you willcheck on this issue for them and either you or that person will call them back within x time frame. And always, always, always thank them for bearing with you.

Being forthright with people is, ime, much better for everyone involved than trying to fake it till you make it. The customers go away happier, you get less stressed, everybody wins.

34

I’ve been there too. The first time I had an apartment that allowed cats was when I started grad school. First semester of grad school + new cat does not work, or at least didn’t for me. I ended up returning the cat to the shelter after about a month.

No advice, just someone else chiming in to say I’ve been there.

35

I’m also getting the feeling that you’re putting more pressure on yourself to perform instantly than your employer is. It’s okay to ease off on your own throttle - do the best you can, and don’t agonize over not doing better. Your company liked you enough to hire you and train you - they know that no one gets up to speed in a very short time. I’ve worked at temp jobs for about 14 years now, and one thing it’s taught me is that you just go in, take it one step at a time, ask whenever you don’t know, and that’s the best you can do (and it’s always good enough - you and I aren’t working as neurosurgeons).

36

2 things.

First, I worked as a customer service person at a wireless company right out of college and lasted about 6 months. It’s a tough job and it stressed me out too, enough that I quit. You may not have that option but I just want to sympathize with you over being at a job you dislike. If you can use this time of employment to try to find something better, you may give yourself more hope for the future.

Second, I have a high-energy shepherd mix that often wants more attention than I can give her at the moment she wants it. After my kids were born, I found that one of the most used and helpful commands we ever taught her at her puppy school was ‘back off’. I taught her to go lay down or at least go away from me with a command ‘back off’ and a hand wave like I was dismissing her. Now I can just wave my hand at her when she is in my face and she wanders off to another room for a while. (If only my kids were so obedient :slight_smile: )
She knows she will be welcomed back with all of us when things as calmed down, but teaching her to go away when I can’t deal with her has been a stress saver for both of us. Do your dogs know this command?

37

I forgot to come back and link to the pit thread. I am not trying to be “unkind” but it seems that you’re in denial or oblivious.

I am not “pitting” you as that term was used in the old days. I think that it’s required to be over there.

Hope this link works:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12763107&posted=1#post12763107