This thread is in response to Papsett’s new dog adoption. Link contained herein.
Two months ago, you posted a thread that you were depressed, could barely handle the four dogs you already own, and that you were “smacking” your dogs. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=565217 Nice euphemism, but then you went on to admit that at least on one occasion you “. . . broke and beat the holy hell out of . . ." one of your dogs.
Most posters including myself attributed it to something that was not worth berating you over. You seemed to admit you had a problem, and I, at least, thought you would get some help. You do sound like you love your pets, but admit that you’re depressed and use them to fill a hole in your life. See, e.g., On Turning 50 Alone - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board
Your response is that you’re feeling better now. It’s been two months since this has been such a problem that you admitted to beating your dogs online. No therapist in the world would say it’s OK for you adopt another large animal when you admitted to stress because of 4 dogs with accompanying “smacking” two months ago. And if you’re not getting therapy, and simply just feel better. Then you’re not better.
If I were the new dog’s owner or former owner or whatever, I would NOT allow you to adopt my dog. That thread happened. It’s ok. It sucks that you’re lonely, and it sounds like you can more than afford some therapy to help. Do that. But I am not going too “ooh” and “ahh” over how cute your new pet is when you have no business adopting it. For some reason I thought that link in your current MPSIMS thread would be the end of it. But you want to get defensive, claim I spoiled your thread, and prevented you from posting another cute picture of new job?!
Look Papsett, if you’re reading this, I don’t think you’re a bad person. You love your animals. Life sounds like it’s gotten in the way of enjoying them. There’s stuff you can do to fix it, but getting another dog won’t.
Yah - I wish I could be more gung-ho about PapSett’s new dog but I admit when I saw that thread my heart kind of sunk.
I mean hubby and I REALLY want to get another cat as we recently had to have one of ours put down. We’re waiting until after baby comes JUST IN CASE we’re overwhelmed with things.
Getting a new pet when you haven’t been coping well with your current ones just 2 months ago seems really selfish. If she’s such a lovely dog I’m sure she could have been adopted by lots of people that would have given her a good home.
I was reading the original thread (which I had missed) when you linked it in the other thread. She says she’s a licensed dog trainer, but then says:
First of all, I am not a licensed dog trainer, but I’ve grown up with dogs my entire life and am very proactive in the rehabilitation of my little shelter monster that I currently have. We work through her crazy ass issues everyday and she’s slowly improving to be a well mannered little ball of cute.
Ok, that said: anybody who knows anything about dogs knows that while backyard time is wonderful (especially for big dogs), it is not the mental and physical workout that dogs require every day. If your dogs are misbehaving in anyway, especially large dogs, the answer is always more walks. Yes, running through the backyard is exercise, but as a dog trainer once told me, it isn’t focused exercise, so it doesn’t fulfill all the needs a dog might have. My dog can run like a maniac through the yard for 8 hours all day, but she’ll still be a little obnoxious asshole all night if we don’t do a nice walk that is at least 30 mins of brisk walking. All trainers know it’s exercise, THEN discipline. A tired dog is a well behaved dog. “Several walks a week” for large, active dogs should be several walks a day.
Secondly, she’s got medical issues that get in the way of her properly exercising her dogs, so she. . . gets another large dog that will require several long walks a day.
And that’s not even getting into the fact that she’s a freaking animal abuser. I’m sorry if you’re mentally ill, but there is no excuse to beat the shit out of your dogs because you had a tough day at work. For anyone who wants to dismiss that, imagine if she had said she got so stressed out at work one day that she beat the holy hell out of her kid. But hey, it’s two months later, so she’s better now and going to adopt! That’s great, right? RIGHT? :rolleyes:
Five dogs is a hell of a lot for anyone to handle, no matter how experienced they are. Yes, I know other people do it too, but it sounds exhausting to me - I have enough trouble keeping up with my one dog, and I’m not doing it alone. I have to wonder why someone with serious health issues and a stressful job would choose to add a 5th dog to their fold. It sounds suspiciously like something to fill a hole in that persons life, and not a genuine desire to own this particular dog. What seems particularly damning on this front is how spontaneous the acquisition of the dog was, with seemingly no though to it’s care - and it’s not like someone was begging her to take in their dog, she searched it out on Craigslist and went over to get the dog.
It does seem like Papsett truly loves her dogs and tries to care for them, but to me this sounds like something on the verge of animal hoarding. I know that hoarding can be incredibly severe - involving huge numbers of animals and a truly negligent level of care, but surely it is a sliding scale and one can have a mild case.
FWIW, animal hoarding is totally what I was thinking while reading the original thread and follow up, I just couldn’t coherently verbalize my thoughts. So, thank you, Meyer6.
I definitely don’t think that Papsett is a bad person, but I was concerned when I saw that post too.
Whatever you weren’t getting from having four dogs, you’re not going to get by adding another. I do think that the danger of becoming an animal hoarder is very real if you are a lonely person who has a soft spot for animals. I am an animal lover too and I know how the “just one more” urge is, but you have to watch yourself or it can snowball out of control.
This is why I kept saying in her recent post about feeling lonely around her 50th birthday that I think it would be helpful to try to find a volunteering opportunity - something that would bring her into contact with other people and make her feel like she is helping people. It would help her be less isolated. I am concerned that adding another dog (with all the obligations of taking care of another animal) will mean more isolation from other people for her, which is the last thing she needs.
You have to realize your limits. Loving animals is not enough; you have to be able to provide for their needs. If you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t take on the responsibility.
Well, I’m not a dog trainer or anything but I’ve never beaten my dog when I’ve had a bad day at work, or any other time, actually.
Now, he doesn’t actually talk or anything, but i have a hard time believing he would prefer something different. However, if you’re an expert, please explain why beating an animal when frustrated is a good way to raise it? I must say that seems counter to all of the books on dog training I’ve read.
Guys, if I read the original thread correctly, Papsett said it happened once, not multiple times as you all seem to want to believe. And, given the fluffy “furbaby” way most people view their pets these days, I’d really like to know what her definition of “beat” is - I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that all that happened was the dog got a spanking. Treating dogs as fuzzy humans is not a good was to take care of them at all.
Yes, Tapioca, it may be that Papsett needs help, but to jump all over a person because she might have been rough on one of her dogs once, insisting that her pets must be in danger, suggesting that she get rid of all of them and thinking she may be becoming a hoarder? How much help is that?
What is it about this board that people just love to assume the worst?
Well, she herself said she beat the holy hell out of her dog. And that occasionally she smacked them. And this was with four dogs. She may not still be doing that, but why add yet another stressor to the mix? In fact, why go out of your way to get another dog if you’ve recently been feeling this stressed?
I couldn’t help reading this post in her new thread:
And thinking, if things get as bad for her at work as they were in that other thread, will this kind of incident provoke laughter or stress and tears and upset pets?
Everyone has stress. If you handle that stress by beating a helpless animal, you have deep emotional problems. If the incident doesn’t cause you to stop, and examine what happened then you have untreated, deep emotional problems. If you add more animals to the mix, then you have set yourself up for cyclical, untreated, deep emotional problems. Everyone has stress, everyone makes mistakes, how you deal with stress and mistakes defines character.