…depite the fact you aren’t alone and are surrounded by your friends and people you care about and who care about you, that you’re just very much alone?
I really used to feel that way a lot. I think it was partly because at the time, many of my “friends” were pretty fake people and perhaps weren’t actually there, at least in the sense of authentically being there with and for me. Another reason is that I think I was clinically depressed much of the time back in those days. Are you in your twenties (because that’s when I felt that way pretty often)? And do you feel okay about it, or does it bum you out to feel essentially alone all the time?
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Of course, now that I have my wacky kid plastered to my hip much of the time, I no longer feel alone much at all. 
Sometimes. But other times I can spend days without human interaction and not feel lonely at all. 
I used to feel that way a lot. Then, about a year and a half ago, a mass was found on one of my ovaries. My phone rang off the hook for days, and people came to visit, and lots of flowers were sent, and everyone that cared about me showed their concern and their love for me. It was really quite overwhelming and an eye-opener for me. So now, whenever that “I’m all alone in the world” feeling starts to creep in, I think about that and how wrong I am to ever feel that way.
And the mass was benign, it turned out.
Yes, usually when I’ve been spending too much time around people and need to actually be alone for a while to recharge. Also when I’m particularly depressed.
Sometimes, yes. Because only you can know what’s going on in your own head. And you can never “escape” from your own head. But most of the time I kind of like the unique perspective, so to speak. I know that my friends and family will be there if I’m in a tight spot. I’m only as alone as all other human beings are.
Certainly, when I feel like what I actually need is a lover.
All the time. Every. Single. Day.
And having people around who I know love me does not help. And medications make it worse.
The only thing that helps is having a romantic partner. I’m kind of needy that way. But that almost eliminates those feelings.
Same here. And I hate, hate, hate that this is so. Seems like a reasonable adult human being should not need that kind of validation, but I do. Doesn’t seem to be any way around it.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the fact that there are six billion different minds which are just as complex and self-aware as mine, and so frustrated by the fact that there can be so little real communication between all these separate entities. Also frustrating, and even a little kind of scary, is that even those people who are closest to you don’t share your reality, and they never can. There are six billion separate reality interpretations, and every one of them is different. It can definitely be lonely and a little sad to think that you’re so permanently locked into your own mind, with no means of escape and a shoddy communications system. I think most people don’t like to think about it, because we don’t like to think of our friends having their own private realities. We like to think that all human beings are the same deep down; we cling to the myth of absolute understanding between people. But really, we’re all prisoners in our own minds, unable to really “get” anyone else. And there are six billion people who think this way, six billion people who are completely self-contained and don’t want to face it. Like I said, it’s a little scary.
I used to feel sad about this until I realized that probably everyone has thought this over at one point in their lives. We all realize that people have their own minds and their own thought processes, and somehow, we get over it, because we have to, or society couldn’t function. We would all just sit around and stare at each other, mesmerized by the fact that we live in a reality of one.
You know, the OP presented a topic I am most famillier with. I have felt alone around large groups of people since I was a child. I always thought it was just me, something I was doing wrong. The funny thing was, when I was alone I felt like there were people all around me.
Even funnier was the fact that as a young actor I could go on a stage and not have any problems at all. In the last decade I have become a magician (Sleight of hand type) and I can honestly say being in front of people is the ultimate high for me.
Recently I suffered a major crises of health. I was sick, damn sick and my doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I lost 80 pounds in a little over three months and quite frankly I figure that this was it. You know, the ultimate IT.
It was at this time that I knew who my friends really were. People were calling me, sometimes daily, to see how I was. I had one good friend who would always want to know when my doctors appointment was, then he would call me on that day to find out what the latest results were. He, and all the others, showed me that I am not alone. I have friends and family, good friends and family, that care for me and therefore I care for them.
Hell, even my older brother and I buried the hatchet after a very long time of us despising each other.
I am now very healthy, thank God (however you define him/her/it) and very much not alone.
Oh, and that being alone yet I felt people were all around me thing, I’ve got pills for that.
Same here. When I was with Tom, I felt like I was on air all the time. Now I’m fearful I’ll never feel anything that good again.
Sometimes, when I’m in a crowded room, I start to analyse people. Then I start to think to myself “OMG! Does NOBODY on this Earth see shit they way that I do?” Then I start to think “Everbody on this f’n planet is crazy!’ then I realize (and this is the scary part) " Only a delusional mind would think HE is the only sane one on the panet, yet everbody else is crazy!”
After a while it’s like "Man, somebody stop the merry-go-round, I WANT OFF!
Exactly. I have more friends, and more close friends, than I’ve had in a long time, and still I feel like there’s something missing. I reason that a lover has to be what it is. I get sort of weird when I start thinking about it. “Hey,” I think, “you’ve haven’t dated anyone seriously since 2002! Better get moving!” I have a conflict between the part of me that wants a warm body to cuddle up to, and the rest of me, that analyzes every little thing about people and concludes that no one is worth it.
Hi, are you me? Because I have that same thought, oh, thirty times a day. I just don’t get how people DON’T analyze everything. What do they all think about all the time? Sex?
Yes.
I think I’ll just leave it at that.
Well, I certainly feel like I WANT to be alone when I’m with my family. Not like they are that bad or anything, but they can be a little tedious.
It seems to me that you can have a lot of friends and acquantances you socialize with without being particularly close. I think it’s important to be anchored somehow into a social network. In college, I got involved in ice hockey and fraternity stuff. This made me feel more connected than being just some guy, his three jerkoff roomates and our acquaintances looking for beer parties every weekend. Many workplaces attempt to recreate this by having frequent get-to-gethers where everyone drinks and socializes. This is fun, but the problem with having a social network closely tied to your job is that jobs tend not to be permenant. The thing is that no matter how much fun you and your friends might have, as you get older, the “posse” mentality of a group of 5 or six BFFs (Best Friend Forever) who are always around tends to get broken up by career, family, SOs, etc. People who are not involved with a SO can often feel lonely because at the end of the day (no matter how many activities they fill it with) they basically go back to an empty house and an empty bed. A lot of people can’t handle that.
I feel that way sometimes. It was worse when I was dating. We’d go out with his friends, and I’d feel like I didn’t even exist. I think it was all the inside jokes. Now that I’m single it’s a little better, but I still catch myself thinking “WTF?!?! Are these people nuts? If they are what in the world am I doing here?”