Oh I expect presents all right.
My family and inlaws have created expectations by asking me what I would like. I have a spread sheet to keep track of all the presents. So I would be a surprised if nobody got me anything.
So yes, I expect gifts.
If they didn’t get me anything I would more surprised than angry. There would be some problem. Maybe a virus? A virus that made them forget Christmas? Or a grinch stole all the presents?
There are certain people who always get me something and/or we will be at the same gift exchanging event, so I expect it in that sense, but I don’t expect it in the sense of feeling like it is owed to me. If they wanted to stop giving me gifts I’d be fine with that, though I’d like to know so I don’t have to get something either.
I’d really actually prefer to just give gifts spontaneously rather than for a specific event, but the cultural tide is not with me…
My father bought me an expensive sewing machine this fall, even though I said I didn’t need one. So I told him I better not see anything at Christmas. But I know I will. Generally yes, I do expect gifts from him but that’s about it.
I expect presents from my husband on my birthday and Christmas. I expect to give him presents for his birthday and Christmas. We jointly buy or do something for ourselves for anniversaries. I’m trying to back down on how much we spend on gifts for each other because we were starting to have some inflation due to always trying to top the last gift.
I don’t expect any and I don’t want any, altho I do know my mom will be giving us a check again. I’m just as happy if someone says “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Anniversary” - being remembered is really nice for me. But I long ago became grinch-like, and I’m relieved that both sides of the family have pretty much quit exchanging gifts.
My parents, siblings and I hold a planned, eagerly-anticipated holiday gift exchange every year, involving many wish lists and telephone calls to discuss who is giving what to whom. I have every expectation that I will receive gifts at this event, since I’ve been asked specific questions about certain items and may even have been involved in the ordering or wrapping process.
There is no point in relying on my mother’s insistence that we are going to “cut down” on gift giving this year, since she says the same thing every year, and then proceeds to extravagant excess.
I have no expectations of any gifts outside of this planned event.
Before we had kids, my wife and I didn’t get each other presents. But we traveled from California to our home state of Michigan every year, and it would have been silly to take presents there, just to bring them back. It would have been an even bigger hassle to plan to buy presents in the short time after we arrived there.
We started when our oldest was old enough that he might notice, and we were conveniently back in Michigan then. Now, I guess I expect presents, from her and our kids, but anything is good enough. I don’t expect presents from my or her parents, but I get some each year. (OK, I expect them, because I get them each year, but it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t get any.)
My daughter got very upset a couple of years ago when she realized there were no presents under the Christmas tree for me. So I started buying one or two things for myself and wrapping them “from Santa.”
This year she made me something at school, and it’s wrapped and waiting - I think it’s a coaster made from tongue depressors. It would be impossible for me to convey how much I am looking forward to opening it. Either you are a parent and you already know, or there’s no explaining it.
But no, otherwise I neither want nor expect any presents.
We follow my wife’s family’s tradition of presents coming from everyone. This involves only our small group, now my wife, our daughters, and their SOs. Part of the tradition is money spent depends on the ability to pay. When we just got married her parents paid for relatively more, when they retired we’d pay for more, and now we’ll pay for most of it.
Small numbers of people mean that we can put trivial things under the tree as well as big things.
I know I’m getting at least one present this year - I got a nice $3.00 3,000 piece puzzle at the thrift store which my wife is going to wrap up for me.
This year will be the first that the adults have “officially” decided not to give gifts. I say officially in quotes because my mom bought something for us anyway and, of course, if she buys you something then expectation is that you reciprocate. So we all got each other gifts anyway. Except me and my husband. We’re buying something we both want together. And, of course, all the adults are buying something for the kids.
I don’t get anyone anything and they don’t get me anything with the exception of my big brother, who would get me something no matter what. I buy for my daughters, and not that much for them. One still has Santa though, and a birthday the next day so she gets her share!
Godammit…how can three little sentences bring me to tears?
Too sweet TruCelt. I’m sure your Christmas morn will be totally joyful.
Nope. At one point in our family, four of us were jobless - including me. I flat-out said I can’t afford to buy gifts anymore. Wasn’t long before we were all on board with that.
The little ones get gifts from parents and grandparents but the grown-ups now pass on it. I’ll tell you what, it sure takes the stress out of Christmas. We all get together, put on a ginormous Christmas dinner with more food on the table than anyone thought possible, eat far too much, have wine and beer and just hang out. It’s great.
Of course I want presents from the SO, and he’d be hurt if there weren’t any there for him. But at this age we spend Xmas day together and with no one else, so its lovely to open prezzies with him and its more about the giving and the opening.
I also generally get something nice from his mom. I never expect it, but I love getting them. I never had a mom that really cared, and while this doesn’t fill the hole, its a taste of what it would be like.
I expect gifts from my husband.
I expect, but sometimes don’t get, gifts from my children. This year I took them shopping, handed them cash, and said “come back here with three gifts, one for me, one for your dad, and one for your sibling.” I helped my son with the last two a little - he did pretty well. (They are 14 and 15 now, old enough to run around a mall with cash). (I should say I always get a gift from my daughter - my son is a little more typical teenage boy - 'wha? Christmas presents for other people?")
I always get gifts from my parents, and always have. So I suppose I expect them, but if my mother were to call me and say “I’m not buying for the grown ups this year” I wouldn’t be upset or anything (surprised - my mother is one of those “everyone needs one thing under the tree” people.)
My mother in law usually gets me a gift. She is a very gifty person. I expect a gift from her in the same fashion as my mother.
When my brother in law was alive, sometimes I’d get a gift, sometimes not. Not a huge deal. The last gift I got from him was this book http://www.amazon.com/Humanity-Celebration-Friendship-Family-Laughter/dp/0473164175/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387471837&sr=1-1&keywords=humanity+blackwell - which I loved and somehow seems really meaningful from a man who was dying.
My sisters and I sometimes exchange presents - often token gifts. This year they are getting tea.
I do think I’d be a little bummed if I didn’t have anything to open on Christmas, even if it’s not anything big and spectacular. A little something is plenty.
Books, port and socks.
I love to give presents, even though it’s hard to come up with ideas.
In our extended family we all agreed years ago to restrict presents to small children and immediates only.
I expect presents from my husband and from his family, because we’ve exchanged gifts between us for the past several years. “Expect” doesn’t mean I feel that I’m entitled to one, or that I’d be hugely disappointed if I didn’t get one. It’s just what we’ve been doing. If something were to change, though, like a lost job or a health issue, I wouldn’t expect a gift from whoever is affected. In fact, I’d be pissed if they spent a bunch on me for Christmas when they had other worries.
My siblings and parents are harder off financially, and much further away. We don’t generally ship each other Christmas or birthday gifts. Instead, we wait until we manage to get together, and we usually have gifts for each other then. Or we go out for drinks and treat each other. Stuff like that.
I’ve been trying so hard to convince everyone to either stick to my wish list - which is always a list of things I actually need - or to get me consumables. Every single year, one well-meaning friend gets me some random thing off ThinkGeek’s website. Sure, the self-stirring coffee mug is neat. But I don’t need it, and it’s just going to take up space!