Hell yes, I expect presents. Not in the sense that they better buy me shit or else, but in the sense that they’ve always given me presents in the past and barring some sort of change in circumstances, I wouldn’t foresee a change in behavior.
It would never a deal-breaker for my parents not to buy me presents, but it will be a total heartbreaker when that year eventually comes. They’re very much “everybody has to have something to open” folks, and if they don’t get me a Christmas present it’s because they’re either too sick to shop or are gone altogether.
It might or might not be an issue for my husband to not get me anything, depending on why he didn’t. If he’s sick, or we’re broke, or we’ve bought something extravagant recently and mutually decided not to do presents, that’s fine. (Although, honestly, I think he’d at least pick me up a candy bar or ball of cheap yarn from Walmart in those situations. He’s like that.) If everything was fine and he just couldn’t be arsed–that’s a serious problem.
My father and I agree about consumableness too. This year I did OK for him: 2014 calendar, candy, movie tickets, gift card for Comcast hoping that he’ll get DVR service. The only permanent item is a whimsical nightlight – he uses a nightlight anyway so it’s a more fun one, but it will result in an extra item lying around. I think the cuteness outweighs that cost.
In one sense I expect presents from my spouse, because for a quarter century we’ve celebrated Christmas and birthdays that way. But perhaps “expect” is the wrong word; I anticipate presents. If she gave me no presents, I would think something was wrong and wonder and worry about what it was.
If she wanted to do away with our custom of exchanging gifts for some benign reason (we have too much stuff already, or we should focus our giving more toward charity, or materialism is distracting us, or something like that) I’d be perfectly willing. As it is now, this is a pleasant custom between us.
I generally treat receiving a gift from anybody else as a pleasant surprise. I know a few people who want to minimize gift giving and it’s fine with me, and I try to follow their lead.
