Do you "Fall in infatuation?"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m sure I’m not clinically compulsive/obsessive or manic/depressive, but I was diagnosed decades ago as borderline. I’m sure some will suggest professional help, but AFAIK, it hasn’t affected my work, social life (of which I have none anyway) or finances, other the cost of adding more hard drives a couple of times a year, to support my video collection.

As I’m typing this, I find this cathartic and look forward to your posts.

About my video collection, I’ll leave it at 10’s of TBs and 1000’s of videos accumulated over the past 40+ years. Only about 10% of my collection is of my infatuation interests.

That said. I “Fall in infatuation” a lot. By that I mean, I’ll see someone attractive in real or reel life and think about them endlessly for days, weeks or longer (more about this later).

For this thread, I’ll focus on reel infatuations. The latest was while watching the Korean reality show Street Woman Fighter several months ago. SWF was a competition between female Korean dancers, primarily modern dance (i.e. hip-hop, house, reggae, etc). One dancer, Lee Su caught my eye and watched her portions of the show and whatever other videos I could find of her for weeks, thinking about her during the day and night. Unlike some others, I haven’t saved absolutely everything I’ve found and now only search for new videos or watch her performances once or twice a week.

I’m currently going through my video collection and purging and adding files. It’s been over a year since I’ve done a this and I’m quite proud of myself for deleting series (all Asian) of some of the actresses I was infatuated with a the moment and if that infatuation, usually started by an outstanding performance in a series, movie or variety show appearance.

On the other hand, I’m also adding new content for those I’m keeping.

This is where my compulsive/obsessive nature comes in. I have sources where I’m able to find the majority of series and movies that actress/celebrity has appeared in and I strive to make as complete a collection as possible. I draw the line at series and movies. I don’t need to collect every TV appearance they make. Fortunately, if I delete one, I’m able to delete them all.

I’ll leave it at this for now and look forward to your thoughts and experiences.

2

I don’t do that with people, but mostly because people are not my hobby.

I fall in infatuation with new threads or patterns. I recently learned how to do a needlepoint plaid and have learned enough about plaids and their design and history to be able to write a desertion.

Having my brain ping on something like that sends good feelings through me for weeks and allows me to maintain focused concentration the entire time. It feels good and I think that my patience with the minutia became a useful job skill.

Of course, now I’m kinda bored with plaids. I’ll finish the projects I started and move on to something else, but it was fun while it lasted.

3

I’ve been finding myself curiously infatuated with Billie Eilish for reasons I’d thought I had outgrown. Its not that I particularly like her music which is about subjects I have long outgrown and is in a style I don’t really appreciate, like I don’t go out of my way to listen it. But she has a sense of purpose and personality that I admire.

Definitly not sexually attracted to her, although she isn’t unattractive. I guess I admire her ability to be herself and express her style and worldview without worrying about conforming to whatever social norms were for my generation.

Maybe its because she is one of the few of the younger trendsetters that gives me hope for humanity’s future.

4

I haven’t mooned over a woman since I got married. When I was single and lonely I might have, though.

5

I become infatuated with subjects, people (sexually and not), foods, cars, etc. The best way I can say it is that I love to learn.

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That sounds to me like what people refer to as a “celebrity crush,” among other names, and seems fairly common. And it often changes over time: you will hear people talk about their current “waifu” or “husbando” in anime circles, for example (though that is technically about liking the fictional character, not the actor).

The collection aspect of it does sound a bit different, but not worryingly so. I know people who will go and watch everything with their favorite celebrity in them. And I know plenty of people who collect files from services online, even if they don’t actually use them. Consider those who buy games they don’t get around to play, for example. Or people who download every cracked game.

The only thing that is a bit unusual to me is the intensity. Is it possible that you are describing a hyperfixation? This is something that often happens with people on the autism spectrum as well as with ADHD.

Here is a bit more info:

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Thank you. Learned something new!

8

My word for preferring imaginary lovers is faux-sexual.

That’s my orientation.