Being completely obsessed with a person/group/thing.

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I know there are people with serious mental illnesses who become obsessed with celebrities and have delusions about them, but I’m not referring to that.

I went to a dinner party recently, and the sister of the host is a huge fan of the Goo Goo Dolls, to the point of spending thousands of dollars on concert tickets, backstage passes, merchandise, etc. despite having financial problems due to being an unemployed single mom.

She has gone to so many Goo Goo Dolls related events that Johnny Rzeznick (the lead singer) recognizes her when she’s in the front row and at meet & greets. Apparently her obsession has caused issues within the family because she has gone to the host’s family for financial assistance, and they have expressed that they feel she’s throwing her money away on stupid stuff, i.e. The Goo Goo Dolls when she has a son to support (I have no idea how involved the dad is in any of this).

My mom filled in the back story for me, at dinner we were simply discussing how she’s going to put all her Goo Goo related items in a closet, and try not to look at them for a year in an attempt to get over it.

This woman is very nice otherwise, and I rarely judge people on their taste of music, unless it’s truly an abomination. I just can’t wrap my head around this level of obsession (yet I find it strangely fascinating), and there are plenty of people I am a huge fan of. It almost seems like an addiction, but instead of drugs or alcohol, it’s the Goo Goo Dolls.

#2

Everybody wants to be somebody. Everybody wants to be good at something. How many people do you know who are GGD fanatics? One! Precisely why she does it. She made a name for herself even if it’s in her own head. If she can convert that image to being the one person fighting the obsession, she could be OK with that too. If it’s hurting the kids, it’s time to stop the insanity and move on.

#3

I’m pretty obsessed with Kesha, but definitely not THAT obsessed. So far I’ve only been to one of her concerts, when she came to Chicago last August.

#4

I guess I’m kind of a poster child for being obsessed with a musical artist (duh, roars a portion of the Cafe Society crowd who might be reading), but wow, it’s never caused any problems in my personal life. I feel a little sorry for the GGD fan, but her obsession seems to have crossed a line.

There’s no shame in, apologies to J. Campbell, ‘following your bliss’ if your bliss happens to be an artistic endeavor or other hobby, but it’s a shame if it starts to negatively affect your life in other ways. Other than occasionally mildly annoying some folks in Cafe Society, my obsession has only resulted in good, both for the artist and her fans, and I’m very comfortable with it.

That’s a bit unfair. You can be a huge fan of someone just for the love of the art. I don’t know about this woman from the OP, I can only speak for myself, but when articles and biographies are written about my artist in the future, I definitely do not want to be mentioned. I kinda would have to be, if the piece were to be thorough (it’s a long story, but I swear I don’t have delusions of grandeur), but I wouldn’t want my real name used.

I definitely agree with that.

#5

I met someone through a Pet Shop Boys web/fansite (If anyone remembers them - they still record and release records and tour.) And she ended up being downright scary. Not only did she follow them through multiple venues across the states (and possibly foreign areas, I forget) but attended so many book/record signings that Neil Tennant (the lead singer) would exclaim “OH! It’s YOU!” And bless his heart would not call security.

Now, I have a custom Pet Shop Boys license plate (PSBFAN1 - California people, gimme a wave, won’t you?) and flew my mom and I to London to see their ballet last year because I knew it would never make the states (but bonus vacation to London, rite?) This chick was OVER THE TOP! Telling me things like how she was all conversing with him via chat and disclosing super personal (fake) stuff. She would text me multiple times a day saying like “I texted Neil and this is our regular time to chat but he’s not responding!”

I would say “uh, uh, it’s X time in London and maybe he’s at a show or a gallery opening, or maybe answering messages from thousands of other people?” It was exhausting, and I finally had to cut her loose.

You thought this was going to be about someone else, right? lol Nowhere NEAR this.

#6

(bolding mine)

Why do you so readily dismiss the possibility of mental illness here? It sounds like a distinct possibility to me, of course IANAD.

#7

This. Once I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder I was like OH! Now I get i!

#8

The Goo Goo Dolls still exist? Holy shit, I haven’t heard anything about that group since approximately 1995.

I once went on a few dates with a girl who was absolutely obsessed with Rocky. She said she listened to the Rocky theme song “every single morning of her life”. When I revealed that I hadn’t actually watched the movies (though I was willing to watch them with her), she seemed absolutely heartbroken. She stopped returning my calls after that - seriously.

#9

I don’t normally lurk in Cafe Society, but is it Kate Bush? Just a guess as you’re ‘Suspended in Gaffa’ (Ra Ra Riot does a nice cover of that song).

I’m a fan of Morrissey, and he apparently has loads of fans like this, which makes sense given the nature of his music (and these people are probably taking his work quite literally). However much of a prick some make him out to be, apparently he’s very nice and understanding with these people.

Speaking of Morrissey, my appreciation for him is probably the closest thing I’ve experienced to what Goo Goo Lady feels for the Dolls, but I would NEVER in a million years spend that much money on the man/follow him around/pretend that I text him/whatever else these people do. I just feel like that would be so embarrassing, and the last thing I want is the pity of someone I admire (which would go hand in hand with everyone I know thinking I’m batshit).

It could be a possibility, IANAD either though, and I wouldn’t want to automatically assume that eccentricity = illness. I’m not sure what category of mental illness this would even fall under though, since she’s not delusional about them, at least not in the sense that she thinks she has an actual real life relationship with Johnny Rzeznick (The Pet Shop Boys fanatic voguevixen**** knew comes across as truly delusional for example).

Yeah, seriously. My mom let me listen to one of their CDs that she had. I recognized their hits from being played on the generic 90s music station, but that’s it. I couldn’t finish the album.

I listened to the Rocky theme by the way (I’ve never seen any of the movies). That must have been one serious obsession to be able to listen to that every morning.

#10

Yeah, I’d say that if her interest in this band is causing serious problems in her life then it’s almost certain she’s suffering from some form of psychological disorder.

Well, just off the top of my head, people with Asperger’s syndrome often become intensely fixated on a particular interest or hobby and may spend a lot of time and money building up a collection of related materials. Periodically spending a lot of money one doesn’t really have on things one doesn’t really need can be a symptom of bipolar disorder (the manic phase). Without knowing more about this woman it’s difficult to make even a good “armchair shrink” guess.

Now, if she could actually afford her concert trips and collection of merchandise then I’d say she was merely a bit eccentric – plenty of people travel to see their favorite bands or sports teams play – but if she’s forced to borrow money from others or go without things she and her child actually need because of her interest in the Goo Goo Dolls then that goes beyond eccentricity.

#11

No, not Kate, although I owe everything good in my life to her (for instance, I met my husband of almost 30 years because we were both fans, and so all of the other good things that came to me from knowing and being with him), have traveled to England twice for fan conventions, have Kate Bush posters in my front hallway, the first thing people see when they walk through the door, and did 95% of the html and graphics for the biggest (and one of the oldest) fan sites. Ok, that sounds obsessed, but I’m not really. She’s my favorite artist, but she doesn’t need me as an active vocal fan, she has tons of fans and fame.

It’s this artist. What I wrote got longer and longer so I’ve put it into spoiler tags so people can skip the details. [spoiler]I’ve been a fan for 23 years and she does need me. Well, not her personally, rather, fans and potential fans do. She’s very obscure but is a world-class artist (phenomenal voice, great music, interesting lyrics) with a worldwide cult following. I discovered her music 2 years after she started releasing music (she has 11 albums now) and I’m sort of the keeper of the flame on the internet, so to speak. We are friends and she’s very fond of me (and no, I’m not being delusional) but I don’t do what I do for her for friendship or money or to make a name for myself. It’s strictly from a deep love of the music and a belief in her unique talent. She doesn’t make music anymore but I want to make sure the music she has released will never be forgotten.

And in the context of this thread, all that sounds weird and obsessed, but I’m harmless, and very useful. I’ve been a great help to other fans and that’s satisfying. For instance, my husband and I traveled across country several times to see her live and my husband videotaped her shows. Now that YouTube exists, other fans who never got to see her perform live (and probably never will since she doesn’t tour) can see these valuable one-of-a-kind old clips and shows, for her voice/music (like this, and this, and this, and this, and this), her wonderful sense of humor (like this, and this, and this), plus her wonderful covers (like this, and this,and this, and this) and dozens and dozens more. I’ve done lots of other things too, such as putting all of her albums up on streaming audio and on YouTube as audio-only tracks to make it available*.

Reading the comments on the videos (and the fan page Guestbook and other places) is my biggest reward. It feels like giving a special gift at Christmas and watching people’s faces light up with delight as they unwrap it.

My god that sounds corny as hell. But her music my bliss. Making sure it’s all available on the internet for current and future fans is my hobby.

And, hey, it’s healthier than being a crack addict, cheaper than collecting first edition books, and doesn’t take up as much space as collecting tractors and steam engines (my dad’s passion).

  • in case anyone wonders, everything I do is done with her permission and blessing, since she hates self-promotion. It’s not done for money for her or me. Most of her albums are out-of-print, and I don’t get paid and wouldn’t ever want to get paid. I accept direct-to-ISP donations to keep my web sites up and running, but there are no ads on any of my pages and never will be.[/spoiler]
#12

With all due respect to her, can I just say how surprised I am that Voguevixen posted in a thread about musical obesssions and didn’t mention Justin Bieber once? :slight_smile:

#13

I agree with you and Ambivalid. If she was just REALLY into the Goo Goo Dolls, it would be “eccentric” but harmless (much like Equipoise’s enthusiasm about Happy). However, the single mom in the OP is harming herself and her kids because of her obsession with the Goo Goo Dolls. The harm is where the line has been crossed and where I think it is fair to say that there is most likely a disorder involved. She is probably unhappy about her life in some way and is trying to fill the unhappiness or emptiness with this fandom.

#14

I’m trying to not make everyone hate me. :smiley: I’m not following him all over the country or spamming his Twitter account all day or anything like that. (Well, I guess the custom varsity jacket is a little over-the-top.) But it’s nothing like the person in the OP. Especially the money thing.

#15

This is most likely.

#16

Or pubes.

#17

:confused:

#18

Didn’t you say you wished you had enough money to buy some of his pubes? Or was that just the hair off his head?

#19

HEAD! And I was even joking about that! I’ve never said anything about his pubes that I can recall. Oh wait. I tell a lie. In this thread loosely based on Justin’s attempting to grow a mustache it somehow devolved to the point someone mentioned it was the norm for young people today to shave their pubes and I remarked that it was possible because I thought he’d started shaving his armpits. I’d like to state for the record it was not ME who brought up pubes in the context of Justin Bieber, as I’d like to point out it was not ME who brought him up at ALL in this thread (or his pubes for that matter.) :mad:

#20

OK, maybe that was what I was thinking of, the fact that you noticed his armpit hair. You have to admit, your posts get a little…uh, wild re: Bieber that it’s hard to tell your actual posts from parodies of them.