At work of course I get many beeping messages during the day where the job demands semi-real-time response. 3 minutes OK, 5 minutes semi-OK, 15 minutes definitely not OK.
In my personal life I’ve received one significantly emergent text of late. Coincidentally just about exactly a year ago today.
“Mom” in this case being unambiguously her Mom as mine was long dead already. I was serving jury duty and had just been called upstairs to go into the courtroom. Naturally I went immediately to talk to the staff, showed them that, and was released to go to the old folks’ home and help my wife deal.
Glad I saw that when I did, not 3 or 4 hours later.
RIP Mom; you were a dear. I miss you, good-natured confusion, prehistoric attitudes, and all.
Well, last Tuesday i WISH I’d noticed the text that said, “i can’t find this part, can you bring one?”. I got it right before i left home for the venue with the gadget was needed, and i could have brought the thing.
No, most of my texts are just chit chat. But yes, i get texts that are time sensitive. When we were talking turns sitting vigil as my mom died, my sister texted to tell us she’d passed. If my husband needs me to pick something up on the way home he’ll text.
I’ve got a number of death notices over text. Voice calls to me seem almost like something quaint, antiquated, and annoying. You might enjoy a horse and buggy ride once or twice, but not for your daily commute.
I am surprised at how much I’ve adopted this attitude as well.
Someone calling without texting first now seems vaguely rude to me. How dare you presume, Sir, that I have leave just now to speak to the likes of you!
I have answered phone calls from exactly three people this year:
My mother (90% of the time she texts, though)
My credit card company, because I was expecting a call from them after my card was rejected due to suspected fraud
The animal shelter, because a friend told me they’d be calling to check references (the friend had applied to foster dogs)
That’s it. I have received literally hundreds of other calls. All have been either spam or redundant (e.g. School, Fire or other town departments robocalling AFTER sending texts).
My wife and daughter occasionally call, but haven’t in the last four months.
Ten years ago, I would have found the way my daughter communicates very annoying. Now it’s how almost everyone does.
My daughter went over two years from getting her phone at age 13 to her first outbound voice call.
Eh, ISTM that most people feel “out of touch” with modern society, largely because they’re oblivious to all the ways they’re in touch with modern society. The OP is just essentially defining “modern society” to be all the interests and preferences that he doesn’t share, because that’s what he consciously notices, rather than just taking for granted as the way the world is “supposed” to be.
He’s not complaining, for example, that most people dress in jeans and T-shirts nowadays instead of formal three-piece suits, or being amazed that most people drive everywhere instead of taking public transportation, or that most people like to have air-conditioning in their houses, because these are societal trends that he personally is on board with. But they are just as illustrative of “modern society” as all the smartphone use and sports fandom, etc., that jars on him because he doesn’t personally like it.
I think most people feel out of touch with modern society because many of the things that are in touch with modern society make people feel out of touch. This may be more of a function of where we live, but I feel like everyone keeps their relationships very compartmentalized and transactional. It’s hard to build the sort of connections with people that can only come over time if people are constantly changing jobs, moving, switching schools, and whatnot as circumstances demand.
I think you are on to something there. Confirmation bias is hard to overcome, especially when social media is so adept at amplifying all of the myriad possible ways in which you potentially are “out of touch”
Maybe I used “society” as a poor choice of words - as well as “out of touch.” Can we even agree with what is meant by modern society/culture?
I think I was largely going by what I see offered as entertainment, and what I see advertised. A significant portion of advertising seems to be about phones, computers, and video games. None of which interest me. Also junk food, soda/energy drinks/beer - none of which I partake in much.
On TV, I’ve never seemed to be watching what were the most popular shows. Somewhat different now w/ some of the cable offerings. And to the extent they offer shows about sort and food, again, no interest. Or the apparent interest in celebrity.
A LOT of our current culture seems to be focussed on acquiring more stuff, bigger TVs…
So what are more significant indicators of US culture than TV/movies and advertising? I’m not sure the fact that I wear jeans is exactly in the same league.
Sure, anyone can figure out SOME way they can claim to be “out of step.” But I’m not sure all such claims are equally valid. I’m reminded of people who were clearly “populars” in school, who later tried to claim they were geeks when they felt that had some cachet.
It seems like it’s really important to you to project yourself as out of touch with society. That’s not all that uncommon. It’s the basis behind a lot of hipster culture after all.
I find it interesting that the majority of the ad and review space for modern phones is about the quality and features of their cameras. I would argue that billions of people having an internet-linked, high-quality still/video camera on them at all times has had a bigger impact on society than the ability to make portable phone calls.
Blue jeans are practically a defining icon of US culture. Sure, non-Americans wear them a lot nowadays, but non-Americans consume a lot of US TV/movies and advertising nowadays too.
I mean, c’mon; AFAICT according to your self-description, at least, you’re a white middle-class middle-aged Anglophone cishet male married to a middle-aged white woman, with somewhere between zero and four children, living in a conventional detached house with typical modern conveniences and one automobile per person, with income from typical sources of employment/investment and a generally law-abiding and otherwise conventional lifestyle. You are absolutely the typical default American in your fundamental demographics, even if you feel that mass-market entertainment and consumer culture aren’t aligned with your personal tastes.
If you now want to adjust those goalposts to equate the whole concept of “modern society/culture” with mass-market entertainment and consumer culture in particular, then fine, but I think that’s rather trivializing the ideas of society and culture.
Okay, you don’t like American mass-market entertainment and consumer culture. A lot of people don’t (although most Americans are at least more willing than you to consume at least some of it). There’s nothing wrong with that. Although I suppose it might be argued that from an emotional-health standpoint it’s not great to focus a lot of negative energy on how annoyed you are that mass-market entertainment and consumer culture are different from what you like.
For example, fantasizing about slapping phones out of the hands of people in crowded airport terminals (post #57), a place where it is frequently quite important to be able to communicate with others at short notice, and quite relaxing to relieve the stress of travel with conversation or entertainment media? Sheeee-it, dude. I could see being slightly annoyed if the phone-starers were actually colliding with you because they’re not looking where they’re walking, but if that’s not the case then why on earth do you care?
Yeah, your thoughts about physically assaulting random strangers who are enjoying “virtual prompts or distractions” in ways you personally don’t happen to like. The distracted phone-staring sheeple are not looking as bad by comparison as you may imagine.
Curmudgeonhood is a taste to be indulged guiltily in private. It doesn’t travel well in crowds, nor bear well the scrutiny of one’s rivals, nor even one’s peers. It was ever thus.
Thank you for the well thought out post. It does help me conceptualize my feelings.
I do take a bit of issue with this:
This strikes me as akin to folk who defend their responding to their phone’s every beep by arguing that their mother may have fallen down a well.
During my recent passages through the airport, I did not notice a single person walking and looking at their phone in a manner suggesting they were looking for prompts. And while I did not try to overhear, it did not appear folk were making vital short-notice arrangements. Instead, the many I noticed were just holding their phones in front of them facetime chatting as they walked. While no one actually bumped into me, in a couple of instances I found myself needing to stop and say “excuse me” to someone who was headed straight towards me. In many more instances, the talker was moving in a manner slowly or erratically such that the mass of traffic had to flow around them.
We’ve often had the discussion about people who stop at the top of the escalator or in the middle of the sidewalk. And folk who facetime at full speaking volume. It doesn’t bother you? That’s fine. In MY idea of a perfect world, in a space as crowded as an airport, folk don’t automatically choose the loudest available method of communication. And someone who needs to view their phone or a map makes some minimal effort to step to the side or otherwise out of the way, rather than just abruptly coming to a stop in the middle of traffic.
Of course, the possibility remains that I may have entirely misperceived the situation, or that the behavior I encountered only occurred on those 2 days in those 2 airports. But I think not.
But, other than this minor quibble, thank you for the post.
Nope, you didn’t exactly misperceive the situation and that behavior didn’t only occur on those two days. But I do think you may have forgotten how many people stopped at the top of the escalator or the middle of the sidewalk or walked around with their face in a map or brochure or moved slowly and erratically while looking up at tall buildings/ the addresses on the buildings/ the live person they are talking to rather than where they are walking in the days before cellphones. A lot of the time in NYC these are visitors who are unfamiliar with the area - but plenty of people are unfamiliar with the airport they are in.
