Because of poor life choices, I have been working at my local Teavana for almost a year now and, as those who have been in a mall will know, part of my job is to stand in front of the store and ask everyone under the sun if they want to try our samples.
I have noticed that when people tell me no (since it happens WAY more often than a yes) that they generally give some kind of excuse: “I don’t like tea” “If it was coffee maybe” “I can’t I’m allergic (which is bullshit cuz only like 1% of the population is or something like that)”
Now from a personal standpoint I don’t care why you’re not trying the tea, just say “no, thanks” and move on. But people still insist on giving an excuse, so how many of you give an excuse when saying no for things and, if you do, why?
I put on my “don’t bug me” face, which works with most hucksters, and just say, “no, thanks” if they miss the cue.
They are playing on your politeness to make their approach, and it’s false courtesy and playing into their game if you in any way feel guilty or uncomfortable brushing them off. It is NOT a social interaction and does not demand social graces, just minimal civility.
(I should add that one of my developing projects is a national “don’t bug me” campaign intended to let those of us who wish to buy our groceries etc. in peace, buy them in peace. No samples, no demos, no sign-ups, no upsells.)
I wouldn’t feel the need to make excuses in that context - I’d just say ‘no thanks’.
There are times when I would explain my refusal (for example, turning down something that is offered in the course of a conversation already in progress).
And for people who try to stop me in the street to take something from me (charity muggers, survey monkeys), I either just say “I’m not stopping”, or occasionally, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English”.
I’m a “no thanks” person - or more often, a slight smile and a shake of the head. Why do I need to give an excuse?
Of course, the really pushy ones (there are some, especially around the holidays, at things like the skin care kiosks - there’s one at a local mall with sales folks who will step in front of you and stop) will occasionally get a “fuck off” - but they have to be really pushy and getting in my way to get that - and if it gets to that point, I’m also going to send a complaint to mall management about that kiosk.
I used to be able to summon a real Andre T. Giant “Moooove.” that was as much bass rumble as vocalization - not loud, but it would make their hair stand on end as they scuttled away. I just can’t seem to muster that… octave any more.
Sample-pushers I just ignore or give a “No, thanks.” The bigger pains are the time-share hucksters everywhere in Vegas. The best exchange I ever had with them was when I once waved my hand at one and said “These are not the droids you are looking for.” Everyone who was near cracked up and we all went our ways with smiles.
I usta do this… My thoughts were - you see me here with a table of samples. If you want one,you’ll speak to me/take one and keep on walking… If not,why would I bother you? Kids,of course were told,“Your parent has to tell ME it’s all right.”
I would reply to your OP, but I’m really tired today. And allergic. Besides, I don’t like typing. Maybe if it were a written OP, I would respond. As it is, I can’t. Witness protection and all, you see? Thanks, anyway.