There’s something to that. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my confidants are not potential dating partners. For me:
1.) A college friend who sadly lives several states away. He escapes the the SO concern by being male.
2.) A married college friend who i talk to online at least a little on more days than not while at work.
3.) An effectively married college friend who i talk to online almost every day.
I can trust 1 and 2 with almost anything. It helps that 1 is male and shares some of my weaknesses (silly things over girls, ahem) and the girls have told me about a lot of their own relational drama. Ironically, if 1-3 and I were all single I would probably set up 1 and 2 and ask out 3.
I have a sponsor, too- that bitch knows almost everything!
Yes, I said “almost.” Twice in the last 17 years, I have had something come up that I couldn’t tell her. Both times it was also something that I couldn’t share with my SO (and she & he are close friends). So, I have confided in one of the women that I sponsor.
I have no secrets today- I can’t. Someone knows everything.
I find it sad that so many have had confidants that have passed away, and at such young ages too!
It seems like just talking about things and letting them out makes so much difference… makes me wonder if there isn’t something in “sitting in a recliner and spilling your guts”.
I have a few friends for whom I’m the confidant, but none of them know how to shut up about themselves for long enough to listen.
There’s an awful lot that’s happened in the past year or so that I haven’t told a single person about.
I’ll complain to some people about small stuff like having too much schoolwork or having my backpack break two weeks after I got it… the day I walked an hour with no umbrella and too-long pants in the cold and rain to go to the zoo and the animals I went specifically to see weren’t out when I got there, everyone heard about it. But nobody knows about the big, complicated, scary stuff anymore.
She was my assistant for 2 years and then got moved to another site. She knows everything good and bad about me. No secrets between us and I trust her more than anyone on the planet, including my husband at the time, my sisters and my mom. We’ve never quarreled and have been able to talk about everything in every aspect of our lives.
I know I’m lucky to have such a friend.
Yes, my best friend. She lives many states away, but we remain close. I can (and do) tell her everything.
I have another friend that I share a lot with, not quite to the extent that I do the first, but he’s there when I need someone.
I’m very, very fortunate.
I need to talk about things, otherwise I get bottled up / angry / depressed. I’m lucky to have TWO confidants. Two great friends since high school. I really need to let them know how important they are to me. They make my life bearable.
Yup, my best friend. It’s interesting how a few years ago I barely knew her and nowadays I can’t imagine not being able to tell her anything, even though sometimes she isn’t online for long stretches of time. I’ve never fought with her, but we do disagree sometimes.
I did in high school, but, thank god, I’ve gotten a little less melodramatic since then. I had a couple friends in high school that I’d talk about relationship stuff with, but eventually I found that I was way less concerned with relationships than I used to be, and just didn’t really feel the need to discuss such things. As for other stuff - well, I guess I just don’t feel a huge need to unburden myself to others. If something comes up in a conversation, there are a couple friends who I’d tell anything, but it’s not like I talk to them intending to spill my guts. Mostly, I have more interesting things to talk about than problems in my life, so I see no reason to go there.
I tell bits and pieces of things to different people. So yes I have people I can talk to, some of them know more about me than others, but none of them can dish all the dirt on me. Not putting all your eggs in one basket and all y’know :D. But my life’s pretty mundane and I don’t have many skeletons in my closet.
Yep, me too. Probably the person I tell the most to is my best friend since grade school. We’ve been friends now for a quarter century and even though we’ve spent most of that time living several states away from each other, and have even dropped out of touch at times, she’s someone who I can tell anything to, and who’s always in my corner. Following her is probably my sister, and then some other friends. But it’s true that I have different friends for different things.
I have a friend like that. You need to just be upfront: “hey, when we’re done talking about you I have something I wanted to talk about.” And then when it looks like she’s done, “are you done? I don’t want to start talking about my stuff until you’re done.” I’ve found that she’s actually a very good listener as long as she’s worked through everything she needs to say. Sure, 20% of the time we never get to my stuff, but most of the time we do.
I am extremely lucky - I have two. My sister and my friend from college. There are different levels of detail I’m willing to go into depending on who I’m talking to. My sister would never hear any details about my sex life, but she would about my job and sometimes any marriage issues if I’m looking for advice. My best friend would hear more details about my sex life and sometimes about general frustrations related to my husband, but probably not my job as much.
I have some acqaintances that use me as confidante. I get way too much information from some of them, some down to bodily functions. Ick. They’d probably let me talk at some point, but I’m usually so weirded out by the level of detail they’re willing to go into with someone they don’t know very well that I’m not interested in telling them anything. Or they’ll tell me specific details about a friend or family member, and I know they’d do the same with anything I told them.
Yes, thank God. I don’t have a large friend network, but the ones I have are trustworthy and kind and loyal and good listeners. Hubby, sister, mom, brother and 3-4 close buds.
I looked in here yesterday and was convinced I didn’t have one, at least not for many many years. Then I had a dicussion with someone I consider a good friend, and after I told him what was on my mind, I did a real :smack: and realized he IS my confidant. I can discuss things with him I wouldln’t dare discuss with anyone else, and, well, realizing that for sure made my day.
Not anymore…My SO decided one day that she doesn’t love me and decided just to leave and barely ever talk to me again
I am a talker, I have always been a talker and even today I find myself thinking of things that happen during the day and I wish SO BADLY that I could have her (or anyone) just to talk to again
I have a confidant…
A friend of mine that I’ve only known for about a year and a half, but a friend that I have become extremely close to. Not in the romantic sense, it is just that she and I have many similarities that tend to lead us towards trust. For example, we have the same birthday, same body type, same taste in many things. Just, many things that pull us together. I doubt we would ever date, but I can trust her with anything. It goes both ways, too, she can tell me anything. We are both good listeners.
Hijack: If someone is your confidant, are you their confidant?
