“I’m no zoologist, but I know a horse’s ass when I see one.”
Ha, I favour the arrogant monosyllabic conversation enders (rather like the baby in “Family Guy”) such as “Indeed” and “Quite so”. If used as a reply to everything the moron talking to you says he generally gets the idea after a while.
“Thats another classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain”.
Don’t those both have two syllables?
“Let me do the math… carry the four… No.”
Ditto. Also effective are:
“Quite.”
“Riiigggghhhtttt” or “yyeeaahhh” (spoken in lazy monotone a la Office Space Lumbergh)
and my personal favorite, when you have no idea what the hell they’re talking about-
“…and there you have it.”
When I’m obviously being lied to (as in “I’m not sleeping with him, honest…”).
"Let’s play a little game I like to call “Which Is More Likely ?”
I also use “indeed,” “quite” and “Rrreally,” a la Droz in PCU.
Or I make a toking gesture.
Mine are Simpsons related.
After a long screed about something very obscure, or sometimes after someone says something really obvious:
(Ralph Wiggum voice): My cat’s breath smells like cat food!
General disparaging remark:
(Comic Book Guy voice): Worst _______ ever!
A couple of mine -
For something that makes so little sense everyone gets quiet a looks at each other:
“Your world seems like a happy place. Can I visit sometime?”
And for something completely off topic:
“Meanwhile, out in left field…”
You could give your standard quip a Heathers twist and say, “Let us know when the shuttle lands.”
My favorite snarky remark is “thank you, Dr. Stupid”.
(with credit due to Ren & Stimpy.)
If someone is acting way over-the-top about something, they instantly become Captain Fantastic, or Captain Fabulous, as the case may be.
When lay-offs again are announced or other not popular measurements of the management are proclaimed
I’d say:
“Have a hart for the company, the company is hard for you”
Don’t get a chance to use it much, but when somebody is rambling about something science/SF/conspiracy-related…
“No more Sci-Fi Channel for you!”
I have two, which both are synomyms for, “You’re dreaming!”
-
Imagine that!
-
Fantastic!
–Nott:rolleyes: