So, how many blank stares will I get until I figure out that no one has my broad-yet-quirky media inputs? It’s been a problem for years (but one I’ve been working on!.. sort of).
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Here’s a related question: What catch phrase have you used that you really don’t expect a response to, but one person gets it?
I opened class one day by handing out a paper with three easy questions (like “Movie that wasted two hours of my life: _________”).
I said “Okay, here’s a pop quiz, and I’ve got a prize for the fastest.”
Nobody moved, they just stared. I stared back. Finally, someone asked “So… it’s a quiz, and… a race?”
"YES! Theoretically, it’s been a race for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schroeder is winning because he’s gotten as far as picking up his pencil!"
I was surprised when one teenage girl lit up and nodded, so I said “Ees a raaaaace!” in my best Rowan Atkinson voice…
One ‘stock answer’ that is always triggered when someone asks ‘What are you doing here?’ is
‘Everybody’s got to be somewhere!’
This comes from a 1950s BBC radio program called The Goons written (mostly) by the great Spike Milligan. The line was spoken by the character Eccles.
Although it was probably intended as a reference to the difficulties of writing an ensemble piece where every character needs to appear every week, it also has some interesting philosophical implications. Yes, everybody does have to be somewhere, assuming they exist at all; on the other hand Eccles doesn’t really exist, so it doesn’t really apply to him.
On the news tonight they were talking about some “problem” bears in the Tahoe area that the wildlife officials recently captured and tagged. At the end of the story the reporter said “the bears will be released into a suitable habitat.” And I immediately said “A Studebaker.”
Is it that hard to think of a distinction, though? Someone could be smothered with a pillow in their sleep, or poisoned. That’s certainly a more gentle and less brutal than a murder by bludgeoning, stabbing or gunshot.
So today NPR was interviewing some Ukrainian official. I was only half listening, but the interviewer brought up something about “unexplained fires” and asked if Ukraine was launching attacks inside Russia. But never mind that. As soon as I heard the the phrase “unexplained fires” my brain was going
“Top of the line in utility sports
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts
Canyoneeeeeeeeero”
