I use this when anything I’m doing goes wildly wrong. I picked it up from Bart Simpson - e.g. when he falls out of the treehouse and his forearm is pointed in the wrong direction “That can’t be good”.
And when the alarm goes off and I’ve managed to get somewhat upright, I’ll always mutter “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. It gets me moving.
We have a dozen or so Seinfeld quotes that we trot out when needed:
That’s a shame
That’s gold Jerry! Gold!!
Yo Yo Mah
I always wanted to pretend I was an architect
Not *every [/I ]time, but when two or more people are leaving on an errand, they often get sent off with “Good luck storming the castle!” Occasionally another person bidding farewell will ask if the group will make it, allowing me to respond that it would take a miracle.
On the even more obscure than Jane being an ignorant slut front, far too often when I’m getting in a hot bath or whirlpool, there will be an involuntary outburst of “Oooh! Too hot! Too hot in the hot tub!” in my best Eddie-Murphy-doing-James-Brown voice.
I actually said this to the dogs once. :smack:
“Oh, you mean this gate key”
I say this, usually just to myself, dozens of times a day at work. I work in a military medical library, and I run Interlibrary Loans. At least half of the requests I get are for stuff we already own, and they just didn’t bother to, y’know, look for it, then I come up with it in literally 3 seconds, which triggers the phrase.
Sometimes in the car I’ll pause in mid-sentence and say “Cows!” just like Danny DeVito in “Throw Momma From The Train”.
Since we’re going with obscure references, anyone remember Nat the dogwalker from Mad About You? When I call my wife, I’ll often say, in Hank Azaria’s voice, “Hey dere, ho dere, it’s your husband dere.”
I use a great many of these, but probably the most common two are from the original Ghostbusters. When my husband asks me about if he should do something, my response is almost always “Yes, have some.” I have also taken to using “Motherpusbucket!” instead of other cuss words when in mixed company or at work. It does meet the satisfying feeling of expletive.
When someone says “My name is…,” I have to suppress the urge to say “Mynameiswartz? I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying.”
(from Being John Malkovich)
I drove my wife nuts the other day by repeatedly using the Johnny Dangerously expletives:
“Farging icehole!”
“Corksuckers!”
“Farging bastiches”!
(really throwing autocorrect for a loop here)
“Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” always gets a good workout from me. In fact, I used it in a work email about 15 minutes ago. (Luckily the recipient is both a friend and a Python fan.)
A lot of my friends are both taller than I am and faster runners than I am. So, on occasion, I will channel my best Michelle from Full House as I call out: “Wait for me, I’ve got little legs!”
A new one I just started doing recently. Whenever I am driving in merging traffic, if I let someone in I say, “Come in, Doc Watson”, quoting from a song on Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.”
Whenever I reluctantly mention that I wear sweat pants in the evening after I’ve showered I have to toss in the Seinfeld quote,
“Nothing say’s I give up like sweatpants”
I like:
“Darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonlit prairie night” when it’s especially dark outside.
And, like Marge,
“Oh, yah”
Our one (:rolleyes:) toilet at work has a history of trying to flood for ridiculous reasons; think two pieces of TP. A cheap-ass plunger is waiting to be used.
“Well, you just have to push it in and wiggle it around a little bit.”
You know what I said. I was scolded by the boss while she was laughing.
Whenever someone asks me something with an obvious answer (i.e., Do you want a slice of this chocolate cake?) I always say “That’s not even a thought.”
So many of mine have been mentioned. It’s pretty cool that all our minds are [del] damaged[/del] wired in similar ways 
Some of my many, many Seinfeldisms:
Sweet fancy Moses!
Stellllllaaaaaaaa!
If anyone mentions a pony, in any context, it it impossible for me not to say(in a Polish accent) “when I was a little girl *I *had pony!”
From Trading Places:
If I’m offering food to someone I’ll say “Would you like some________? Dare’s plenty you know!”
If I need assistance with something that requires strength, such as opening a bottle or putting something heavy on a shelf, etc. it’s “please to help me with my rucksack?”
From Friends:
“It tastes like feet!”
“It’s a moo point”
From Sixteen Candles
“oh sexy girlfriend!”
“whoa, nice manners babe!”
“Dong! (clap clap) Dong! (clap clap) *Where *is my automobile?” Automoblie can be substituted for whatever the missing item is.
It’s almost embarrassing how often I work this kind of thing into my speech everyday. At least around here I’m in good company.
A couple from Big Trouble in Little China that I do regularly…
“Indeed!” (useful for nearly anything)
“You were not put on this earth to get it!” (when someone says “I don’t get it”)
By Grabthar’s Hammer, What A Savings!
Though I say it with MUCH more enthusiasm than the original