I’m in my late 20’s as our most of my friends. I don’t know if it’s the fault of winter, or the economy, or the world in general, but a majority of my friends are unhappy.
It seems that their unhappiness stems from not knowing what they are? Career paths are not as defined as they once where which gives us the ability to try out varied careers or even just filler jobs.
I don’t hear many people even using the word career anymore. They talk about their current job, or what they might want to do next, but a life-long career is rarely mentioned.
Because of this I see my friends not being able to define themselves. They can’t say, “I’m a doctor”, instead they say, “I went to school for massage therapy and now I’m going to school for acupuncture while giving massages on the side”. There’s a pervasive restlesness underlined with sadness. No one seems to be entirely happy with what they’re doing and even though they have future plans they’re not entirely happy with those either.
I guess I would like to know if anyone else has noticed anything similar. Is this 20’s doldrums normal? Is it the state of our current society that has left us not knowing exactly what we are because we’re overstimulated by too many options?
Well Mog - what you describe has a word, it’s called: Quarter Century Crisis.
Many are going through it. I went through it in Grad school in the early 90’s…Thought I was going to bartend for the rest of my life. There are two things you need to tell your unhappy friends.
With more experience comes better pay, with better pay comes increased opportunity etc…etc…
Advice: Job hop as much as economics will allow, and find something you can see yourself in for several years. Gone are the days - as if they ever came - that instant gratification on the job came easily. Young Adults today are realizing that hard work is not a disease, but a necessity in this day and age.
Phlsophr it’s not so much the lack of instant gratification I’m talking about. It’s more of an identity issue. It seems that today less people are apt to define themselves by what they do. They have jobs, they may enjoy them, they may not., but when 5pm hits they’re no longer connected to it.
This could easily turn into a “why are we here, what’s life all about” discussion, but I’m looking to speak about something much smaller scale.
I want to know if anyone else has experienced confusion or sadness over a self-perceived lack of identity and why having an easily defined identity is important to you. I want to know why so many young people are caught up in naming themselves instead of enjoying what they do have in life.
I don’t have an answer to your question. But I do have to say that I am 26 and I know exactly what you are talking about.
This might seem a little “stream of consciousness” but I promise I have a point.
It seems you’re not unhappy with your lot in life per se, just that your perception of how life works didn’t quite match your expectations. It’s easy to find yourself disillusioned because things haven’t quite met up to your expectations.
However, the reason more and more people find themselves in this position is because fewer and fewer people are willing to sacrifice their lives for their careers. Because things “didn’t pan out” with their original choice of career, they feel that they’ve sold out or didn’t live up to what they’d chosen.
The best advice I can give you is to continue striving for those things you feel are most important, and it’s entirely possible you already are – and among those things, career might not be very high on the list. There’s nothing in the world wrong with that, whatsoever.
I began my career in radio a lifetime ago, and discovered after a few short years that I wanted more than that life would allow. Based on that conscious decision, I took mental stock of what I liked and disliked about that lifestyle. The most important parts of that career to me (writing and speaking) could easily have been fulfilled elsewhere. This is how I became a corporate trainer.
Is my job perfect? Am I going to be a trainer all my life? Heavens no, and I couldn’t say. At some point I may have to adapt to other desires and needs, and I may discover that my career needs to take a different path. Maybe I’ll need more education, maybe I’ll need to look in another field, and maybe I’ll just chuck it all and rent SCUBA equipment on the beach in Nassau.
I feel a little disaffected at times, I’ll admit, but I also understand that life would be pretty uninteresting if I knew where I’d be and what I’d be doing in 5, 10, or 20 years. I’m pretty happy to take the journey and see where I end up.