Do you shake a man's hand the same as a woman's?

[48Willys]

@perfectparanoia

I look around and the guys (often unwittingly) use their gender strategically by forming a boy’s club.

I have options in this company, I can use my gender and move up or I can be in one of the typically female roles here.

(You’ll note that I am also exceptional at my job.)

Do you know any women personally who have high-flying careers? It is damn hard to move up for women in some fields. I do what I have to do. Which is what men have been doing for decades.

Hang in there, I’m pulling for you.

As to the original question, I look them in the eye & shake hands firmly.

I have never understood why some men, (mostly), try to crush my hand. I am a fairly large man & I suppose that may intimidate some folks. But, come on now, really? If you want to intimidate me it is going to take much more than a “crushing hand shake”. Grow up.

I also like the idea of a fist bump as a good alternative to the hand shake.

[BigT]

My dad actually tried to teach me a way that made the hard squeeze impossible, but I never learned it. Anyone else have any idea?

[TwiSpark]

Maybe it’s because I’m undiagnosed suspected-autistic, but it’s one of those things that really baffles me with how much people read into it or try to communicate through it. If you must express dominance, I don’t understand how it’s not far more effective through words than trying to shake someone’s arm off.

But anyway I tend to be relatively gender-blind - I sometimes come away from things thinking “oh wait, are you supposed to do that when it’s a woman?” - for example obviously it’s a leap in familiarity from a handshake, but the hug. Some guys do that thing where they slap your back like they’re beating the shit out of you (TBH, I’ve generally tended to see this as a way guys ‘get away’ with expressing affection without ‘damaging’ their masculinity or appearing gay). I give a medium-gentle pat out of habit, including with women, then come away thinking “oh… I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do if it’s not a male-male hug”
Not that it happens that often in either case

Back to the handshake, I do as trained - not a limp fish, but not shaking anyone’s arm off. Gentle to medium-firm in most cases, or a good firm double-shake or so for job interviews.

@Kevbo

I am a very large man, height and otherwise

You don’t want to know how I interpreted that :o

[kayaker]

@BigT

My dad actually tried to teach me a way that made the hard squeeze impossible, but I never learned it. Anyone else have any idea?

OK. Picture this (it’s easier to demonstrate than explain).

You are facing squeezer, as you each extend your right hands. The moment you feel squeezer go beyond a normal handshake pressure, you (while squeezing normally, thus maintaining a hold of his right hand), pull your right hand toward you just a bit (affecting his balance), then you swiftly bring up your left hand with the fingers rigidly extended. You thrust your left hand quickly and sharply at squeezer’s Adam’s apple. This stops squeezer from squeezing (it’s what doctors call a “reflex”).

[Cardigan]

15.4% less pressure applied to a woman’s handshake, otherwise identical.

[gnoitall]

@kayaker

OK. Picture this (it’s easier to demonstrate than explain).

You are facing squeezer, as you each extend your right hands. The moment you feel squeezer go beyond a normal handshake pressure, you (while squeezing normally, thus maintaining a hold of his right hand), pull your right hand toward you just a bit (affecting his balance), then you swiftly bring up your left hand with the fingers rigidly extended. You thrust your left hand quickly and sharply at squeezer’s Adam’s apple. This stops squeezer from squeezing (it’s what doctors call a “reflex”).

I also like the alternate approach, which starts like yours (pull 'em toward you with the current grip hand) and then sharply strike them across the bridge of the nose, breaking it, with a bladed left hand. Then, as they recoil, pull them sharply back with the continued grip hand while driving the nasal bones into their frontal lobes with a vigorous palm strike.

At this point, your [del]opponent[/del] new best friend will concede that your grip is clearly stronger (other than their death spasm, which is temporary and can’t count) and you will have won the “meeting someone” dominance contest.