My ex was not as intelligent as I am. He wasn’t stupid, but I’d rate him as of average intelligence, and I rate myself a bit higher than average (hey, it’s the straight dope, we’re all of higher intelligence here)
I count that as a large part of why it didn’t work out between us. He was decent looking, a really nice guy, and worked pretty hard. But his dunderheadedness really got to me. I lost a lot of respect for him, and we established some bad habits, relationship-wise. I couldn’t trust him to make decisions because invariably he’d end up with some convoluted mess. I don’t think I’m being a control freak here or anything like that - I realize that everyone’s decision making process is different, and even though a solution might not be the one I came up with, it’s equally valid. I’m talking stuff like when he designed the sprinkler system for our new house, somehow we ended up with no sprinklers in either garden. Um… isn’t that the point of a sprinkler system? To water the fookin’ plants? (No, we didn’t divorce over the sprinklers, that’s just one of the more benign incidents that illustrates my point.)
Anyway, I digress. It was difficult to talk to him on a high level, and difficult to live with him. So maybe that makes me a snob. But the new Mr. Athena is a smartie, and even though we have our disagreements, I respect him and never have to question his intelligence. We’re much more of an even match.
So I guess the point of this is to say that I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who was either a lot dumber than me or smarter than me. Dumber, because of my experience with my ex. Smarter, because I don’t want to my husband thinking I’m the dunderhead!