Doc Cathode Apologizes Then Wallows In Self Pity

To begin at random, sexually explicit cd-roms are unfortunately already in the mail and on their way to certain female Dopers. I deeply regret this and intend no offense. It’s been a particularly bad week and seperating reality from halluination has been even more difficult than usual. The packages were sent at a time when I was under the impression that we’d actually had sex.

   In retrospect, this was simply a delusion brought on by running out of meds, sleeping 13 hours out of every day, and living off icecream and popcorn. Examined rationally the distance to be travelled and the trouble of finding my address make it impossible that such an event could happen unplanned and unnanounced.

    This leaves me to face the consequences and one very bizzare question. To wit-How in the hell did half a dozen pairs of fine calf-skin thigh-high boots get in my bedroom?

No one could have broken in. While they've got plenty of use left in them, the boots are too worn to have been ordered recently.   

   In retrospect, the transformation into a bat must also have been a hallucination.  But again, this leaves unanswered questions. How in Cecil's name did all that guano get in my bedroom? If it was all a hallucination, and it has to be, how did I wind up naked in a chimney twenty miles from home?

  I begin to wonder, am I losing my grip on reality or is reality losing its grip on me?

Anyhow-I humbly beg forgiveness for sending the smutograms. Thank God I came to my senses before sending that e-mail to the Mod. Been a rough week, it has.

Um … no you didn’t.

We should talk


I thought Euty was joking. But, a check of my browser cache confirms it. Where do I go from here? Will this result in my banning-or RL visits from some of the mods?
In another note-one of the boots is marked with a monogram-the initials KK. I wonder what it means?

Is there any way we can find out in advance whether we’re one of the female Dopers who should be expecting a CD-ROM?

And are you missing a black silk cape with red velvet lining?

Not mine. My cape is black velvet with a black silk lining( I kid you not. I’ve got a tux and red silk vest too. If only I could get a decent top hat. I’m waiting to inherit the ivory headed cane which completes the outfit).

Ummm… it’s embarassing enough to know that certain Doper women will be receiving nude gif files of me. I’d really rather not announce who they are. I can only hope they don’t post the pics anywhere.

[sub]also I can’t remember exactly how many I sent out…or to whom[/sub]

Krispy Kreme.

Don’t ask how I know that.