Life Still Sucks!

I understand my hyperbole did not make things clear in the last thread. I am not suicidal at this time. When the average person commits suicide, it’s a tragedy and a loss. However, for me to deprive the world of the uniqueness that is Doc Cathode would be a crime of unimaginable greatness.

Besides being manic depressive and on disability, a recent shift in finances leaves me about two months away from homelessness. I can’t sell the hundreds of dollars of collectibles I have on eBay because I can’t afford a digital camera or get my flatbed scanner to work. Plans to start a business as a clown are going nowhere. Odds that I’ll end up in a group home ( a literal nightmare of mine) grow ever higher.

I suppose I need comfort and validation. But, what I could really use is money and nude pictures of female dopers. Send me cash and pictures of you wearing a snood, wearing only a snood. Or a nice action shot of a Jedi making interesting use of her lightsaber. Or paint your body to look like Cheetara from before she left Thunderra- back before the Thundercats wore clothes.

I’ve lost the will to live and only my stubborn streak ( a stubborn streak a mile wide so don’t you worry) prevents me from giving up and killing myself. I ask my fellow Dopers to send smut to restore me to health.

No no, death sucks, life pushes.
You have a life, you have a mind, push through it man; I mean it, if you don´t get your act together I´ll have to resort to sing Annie´s “Tomorrow” untill you cheer up… or strangle yourself with your own bare hands to put yourself out of the misery, could be either.

P.S: sorry, I don´t have the kind of smut you´re looking for.

Sure thing, DocCathode. Here are two pictures of individuals wearing only snoods. :slight_smile:

DocCathode – unfortunately, I am lacking in the cash department, but I DO own a digital camera and have nothing better to do with my time than take pictures of random crap for someone.

Hell, I’m newly single, shoot me an email and I’ll send you a picture of my butt if that’ll really cheer you up. No snoods available, sorry.

Hope you feel better soon.

That’s low Brujaja! Kick me while I’m down why don’tcha!

Br’er Lapin You raise an excellent point. To wit- I forgot to mention my e-mail address. How are you women of the Dope supposed to deliver your erotic daugerrotypes without it?

Doccathode@yahoo.com

It also occurs to me that some of you may think I’m joking. I’m quite serious.

I know that some of the women on the SDMB place a much lower value on nudity than I do. They will say to themselves “If I can comfort this poor, lost soul with merely a picture of my boobies, then surely I will.”

Others have harbored crushes on me for years. They are just waiting to send me pictures of themselves in low-cut wenching outfits, bodices, corsets etc et al.

Finally, I appeal to the ingenuity and competitiveness of the Doper women. Who will be the first to send me video of herself making unorthodox use of a 1920’s Style Death Ray? Who will be the first to send me footage of her dancing, clad only in light emitting diodes that flash in time to the beat? I ask not just for smut. I ask for the kind of smut only a Doper can provide!

Br’er Lapin Thank you for your offer but my apartment reflects the state of my mind. Right now the place is a rank sty. Things fall apart. The center cannot hold. The falcon cannot hear the falconer. Even if I were receiving guests, I have some four cubic feet of merchandise to photograph.

I’m sorry life isn’t working out for you. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless at times, but try to think optimistic and help yourself get past this rut.

OR I can send you pictures of me using a dough roller, batteries, and a flowerpot in quite mind-poking, mind-bendingly forms :smiley:

Better suited to a PM.

Is there an eBay store relatively near you where you could bring your stuff? I know they take a cut, but it’s better than nothing.

Sell a couple of things to a local dealer and buy a digicam.

Don’t lose that stubborn streak.

I’d send smut, but my kind of smut ain’t your thing. :smiley:

Hang tough DocCathode.

I don’t know what a smood is, but here’s an addictive game that’s seemingly about them: Snood!

Upon research, a snood looks like a type of thick hairnet. Sorry, all out of smood smut. I could take pics of myself, but I don’t think your cathodes are polarized that way.

Do you have any Nintendo collectibles?

People, I appreciate all the offers of second hand cameras but two things.

Thing #1 My computer doesn’t have a memory card reader so I need a camera with a USB cable.

Thing #2 What I really need are nude pictures of female Dopers, not cameras.

I know of no local eBay stores. I know of no local dealers to sell to.

I don’t think I have any Nintendo collectibles.

Please ladies, my soul is empty. Fill it with porn!

Don’t make me go to I Really Need Validation Stage 2!

Are you actually in Philadelphia?

Here’s a “We Sell Your Stuff on eBay” type store I found upon quick Google search.

Now then, if you’re not looking to do anything about all of the things you bemoaned in your OP and you’re just looking for boobie pics, I think you should drop the poor me angle and try the “I’m building a collage of Doperboobs for an art project, need models of various shapes/sizes. Inquire within” angle.

You catch more boobs with art than pity. :slight_smile:

I am in extreme north east Philly. I have no car and have to rely on SEPTA to get around.

I am working to improve my life. I managed to clean most of the kitchen today. Tomorrow, I have to make a psychiatrist appointment and attend a day program. I feel that I can light a candle while cursing the darkness.

I have to get the boobie pics honestly, or they mean nothing. It’s the sharing that matters. I need you to bare not just your breasts, but your souls. It’s all very existential. I would expect somebody named for the Moon Clan to understand.

Well guys, you heard him. Anyone with Man-boobs, you may fire when ready. :eek: :smiley:
Man, this is better than ‘Craigs List’.

Well, I suspected this thread was so popular (almost 600 views) for one of two reasons.

Either people were hoping that I would receive boobie pictures and share them. (Which I would not. Without express consent I won’t even confirm that I’ve gotten them)

Or people are watching hoping to see DocCathode’s big mental breakdown. That may happen, especially if I run out of Paxil.

Thank you for confirming that it’ s reason number two.

Doc, I wish you well (Paxil or no).

Second, your breast pics are your own; worship them in peace.

Lastly, believe it or not, I’m not trying to lead any charge of angry villagers to try to stop you from enjoying the nubility of the female form. I posted because I’m just not sure that breast pics will get you out of the situation that you describe.

If I have poked you with a stick, please understand that it is because I am hoping that it will make you think of another option beyond you drifting into the group home, which you have said that you dread.

Well Doc I don’t have any porn that I can send you. It’s all in my mind where the most beautiful and the most horrible things are kept. I can understand about the empty soul part, as mines a desolate wasteland, not even a tumbleweed blowin’ through that hell hole so no help there either. All I got for you is words. Walk on.

I actually enjoy reading your LJ entries, as I’ve subscribed to them somehow for the last year and a half or so. I believe I randomly suscribed when I first read the “Henchman wanted” thread on the Dope. You were one of the posters, and somehow I got a hold of your LJ and freinded you. On it You’ve posted a here and there, and you have such a wonderful style, that I can’t help but wonder if you Really ARE a Mad Genius (as your entries sometimes are an exercise in surreality to try to puzzle out what’s being said). I ALWAYS enjoy reading them, and ALWAYS loved to see a comment from you whenever randomly they came about.

So I wish you well and hope you do find your silver lining in these cloudy times. Yet I must admit that I fall into Camp #1 on your list of viewers as well. As your plan to amass DoperprOn is quite Genius, and one that totally befits my image of you as a Mad Genius scientist - sheer brilliancy in the form of “that’s such a crazy idea.” “So Crazy It Just Might Work!”

I hope you do get better, and that you do become happier surrounded by your trove of goodies and boobies. Good luck, Doc! I’m rooting for ya!
Take Care, as you’re one of my fav. dopers around these parts! (but don’t tell any of the MafiaDopers that - they might pay you a visit!)
(((hugs for the good Doc)))
~Roosh

Well, instead of getting anything done today I managed to sleep for 18 hours. No visit to the day program. No call to my psychiatrist. No getting the tax forms I need.

And no boobie pics. Not a single one. I hurt. Apparently no female Doper cares enough to send one.

I may have to go to I Need Validation Stage 2.