Even though he isn’t dead yet.
My friend Jim, my wifes best friend from long before I met her, and our roommate is in the hospital. Spindle cell sarcoma. It is in his brain.
About a year and a half ago Jim had a growth on his shoulder. Went to the doc who referred him to a dermatologist. The dermatologist removed it and said ‘Nope, not cancer. Don’t worry about it’.
The growth came back. Jim went to the doc, testing ensued. Spindle cell sarcoma. He got referred to another specialist. This guy, who was older than god, started him on a chemo treatment. It didn’t seem to be working which lead to a trip to a different specialist. Turns out the second doc was using a chemo treatment that was a) years out of date and b) didn’t work on the type of cancer Jim has.
Two docs, two monumental screw ups.
The third doc got Jim on a new treatment. The cancer is aggressive. The treatment seemed to be working, though Jim wasn’t feeling all that well. Especially when he started shitting non stop. Turns out his body rejected the chemo drugs by going all colitis on him.
That lead to a 5 day stay in the hospital. And no chemo until he recovered.
They started him on a new treatment. In the last couple weeks Jim started feeling really bad, wouldn’t go see the doc until his scheduled appointment and also started getting what we thought was chemo brain. Over the weekend it got really bad, he was confused and aphasic. We tried to get him to the E.R but he begged off, including when the ambulance was called. He was coherent when they showed up and wouldn’t go.
Not like it would have mattered anyway.
Yesterday he had a doc appointment. A friend of his was in town and went with Jim. I got a call while at work that Jim was lost, suddenly wouldn’t let his friend drive (and she is from out of town and didn’t know where the hell they were at) and thought people were moving buildings on him.
I left work, called the doc and went to pick him up. The doc told me to take him to the E.R. instantly. So we went to the E.R.
They did a scan and the cancer spread to his brain.
My wife and the out of town friend have been at the hospital with Jim. I have to take care of our twin boys so I have been running back and forth. But at this point it is likely Jim won’t leave the hospital alive.
On top of all this, before Jim got really sick we kept pushing for him to a) give us power of attorney for medical issues and make a will. He kept pushing it off and it would almost lead to arguments. Now we are screwed. The doc tried to get Jim to sign a DNR but Jim thought the doc was trying to trick him.
So I just created both documents and hope he is coherent enough to sign them in front of witnesses. Jim has no family, it is just me and my wife. Some of Jims friends are now wanting to come out and take over. One is a lawyer. We don’t need people dicking around over his very, very small estate. He has two old cars, a 1990 ish truck and a 1980 ish sedan. Some guns. Very little money.
This is just fucked.
Now I need to wake up the twins, feed them, get down to the hospital. Get Jim to sign the docs, take his friend to the airport. Make sure my wife is ok. Losing her oldest and best friend is fucking her up, especially as her oldest son committed suicide last year.
Oh, and one of my twins was diagnosed as type 1 diabetic on 1/29. So on top of all this, we have to keep him healthy.
There is more, Jim was planning on suing the docs and some other things. It will hurt our budget as Jim paid rent, though we can get over that. We will have to figure out the funeral expenses. I suspect a gofundme page is in our future.
Fuck cancer and fuck incompetent doctors.
Slee