Here’s an odd one. Rand Paul got tackled by another doctor and had some ribs busted. Cite-a-roonie.
The lawyer for the tackler says it has nothing to do with politics. What could it be about? Work issues (both are/were doctors)? Crazypants-osity? Love triangle gone wrong? Or does the plot go deeper than that?
Idle speculation, conspiracy theories, tasteless humor - let us have it.
Regards,
Shodan
He probably wanted his lawn mower back.
Rand Paul has a well known “getting tackled” fetish. His favorite app is Tacklr.
This is just a case of two lovers getting carried away in public.
They were apparently neighbors with some sort of long-running dispute.
My guess…Rand was burning his trash in a pit in the back yard, instead of lettin’ the gummint deal with hauling it away.
From the OP’s link.
He probably thought it was that damned hair dryer again.
Was it 5:30 in the morning? Or, maybe that’s how the neighbor learned to say “Hello, Neighbor!” in the old country.
Perhaps the neighbor was taking a page from The Batley Townswomens’ Guild, and re-enacting the Bowling Green Massacre…
RAND: Hey, man. This is about liberty, freedom. And your old lady is totally free to ride the Randy Rod anytime she likes. [Beat] And apparently she likes.
NEIGHBOR tackles RAND.
Fade to black.
Pretty sure this was due to a college football rivalry. Maybe Rand was a Old Miss fan or maybe he was a Tennessee fan and his neighbor was a Kentucky fan.
SEC football gets pretty intense.
“Libertarian!”
“Objectivist!”
A 59-year-old attacks his 56-year-old neighbor. Inside of a well-to-do gated community. Ribs take a beating.
*Jim Bullington, a former city commission member who knows both men, told the Post that the two, who live next to each other in their gated community, often engaged in heated exchanges about politics; Boucher is a vocal anti-Trump socialist, according to Bullington, while the libertarian Paul voted against an Obamacare repeal attempt because it didn’t go far enough in severing federal aid.
…But in a statement released Monday afternoon, Matthew Baker, Boucher’s lawyer, said that the “unfortunate incident” had “absolutely nothing to do with either’s politics or political agendas.” Instead, Baker said Boucher attacked Paul over ”a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial.*
So many choices! I can hardly wait for the next chapter!
Unfortunately, Matthew Baker is not under oath, and is not required to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, at this point in time. My client is not guilty, and we will be able to adequately explain everything at a later date, unless we don’t.
I bet Paul hasn’t taken down his Christmas lights yet. Good thing he doesn’t live next to Joe Biden, things could be much worse.
Existing thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20584360
Who would play them in the movie now that Matthau and Lemmon are both gone?
The right wing’s trying to claim that the assailant is a member of Antifa. I wonder if they’re issuing membership cards now.
They’re middle-aged white men of means. It’s either about sex or it’s about a lawn.
Or a sexy lawn
Maybe Rands dog pooped on the SOB neighbors lawn! That would piss me off. I have secretly wanted jump my old neighbor lady whose cat continually poops on my petunias!
It was probably some kind of yard thing (“your tree dropped leaves on my lawn!”) or noise issue (the libertarian gang getting rowdy at Rand’s backyard barbecues, or a bad muffler on his riding mower).
I was a little perplexed at his alleged attacker facing a fourth degree assault charge, which is only a misdemeanor in Kentucky. I looked it up, and to get a third degree assault charge you need to attack someone in a “protected” class, which I guess Senators are not. Second degree is for serious injury (busting five ribs and causing lung contusions is apparently not considered serious in Kentucky), and a first degree assault case requires serious injury caused by a weapon.
You’re welcome.