So this person initially worked part-time in her student holidays, for her dad’s (one of the directors at a uni) direct report. This direct report is also my manager and has worked closely with the director for years - she often does things that we consider to be the director’s work and has got her own way many times; speculation, but we could say it was due to her relationship with her father figure, whoops, I mean the director. Anyway - G then applied for a full-time job, the interview panel was made up of her dad and our manager! G is now, in my eyes becoming a monster. She goes on overseas conference trips that others can only dream of and is getting more and more responsibility and yet, she really isn’t that bright or competent. She is also not a very nice person - she has this veneer of sweetness, but she has scolded some of my student assistants (when I wasn’t there) for no real reason and she has this arrogance that she knows best, when she has only been in the world of full time work for 3 years.
Anyway, I was chatting online with a guy who, after I’d told him where I worked, told me that he was screwing this girl from my work - turns out she worked in the same building! They were meeting at work and doing stuff in the classrooms - he seems to get off on this fear of getting caught. I put two and two together and worked out it was G - he confirmed it (he gets off on me knowing too - I asked).
This was kind of icky, I really don’t want to know and especially as my view of her is already cloudy at best. Now I find out that she was screwing my assistant who was then also a student. This makes me a little worried that she may be screwing her own student assistants - at least two of them are male. This leaves me with the question of what to do? If I do nothing, I’m worried that something could blow up, and I’d have this knowledge on my conscionce. If I do something, what do I do - who would care? What could I say? My manager knows I didn’t agree with G’s appointment at the time.
Figure out a way for someone else to find out and then report it themselves. Keeps you from drawing criticism.
If she isn’t harming someone directly with this behavior, then the only issue is one of propriety and breaking of work rules. While breaking work rules is wrong, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I mean that in the “don’t let this weigh on your conscience” sense, if you choose to keep your mouth shut.
I don’t think you have the responsibility to take information from a dubious source and spread it around. If you want to see her take a fall and want to be instrumental in taking her down, you can try, but it is a big risk. If you take it forward you need to have good evidence against her, not some internet dude’s say so.
I knew a similarly connected person in my company, and she fooled around with(or came on to) various people there as well, including me. She’s still there, this is her 9th year, and she’s probably still not terribly competant. Connected folks are notoriously hard to get rid of, they get all the breaks, so they really have to screw up big time to get fired.
Dude, it’s none of your business. Butt out.
Or get in line.
To be clear - the sex with the online dude in the classrooms is not something I’d want to report. Whilst I don’t want to know this about her - I do, however, I know this sort of thing goes on at a higher level and anyway, it’s none of my business - consenting adults etc. I’m sure there is no work rule book that spells out this particular behaviour as being against the rules.
I was just adding this to paint a picture of the type of person she is. I’m worried about her, as a staff member, screwing students.
Um, I’m a girl - although she’d probably go for that as well. Like I’ve said - if I know she could be screwing students do I really butt out?
Sorry about the gender misidentification. Yes, if she’s screwing students and they’re willing participants (and adults, I presume), it’s no one’s business but theirs. You’re not her boss. It’s not illegal. Unethical? Possibly, but again, the ethical climate at your office is your boss’s business. Generally speaking, it’s not *a good idea * for someone in a position of power to be sleeping with the underlings, but office affairs have been going on since time began. If it’s not spelled out, she’s entirely within her rights. In any case, until she’s hitting on you, it’s not your concern.
It’s also a bit of a leap to assume that because she’s screwing a student she doesn’t work with, therefore she’s probably screwing students who do work with her. I’d sta out of this.
So you don’t have any problems with staff screwing students?
When there is a power difference like this, I think it is totally unethical - especially as she regularly accesses student records as part of her job.
Other unis make it part of their rules, but ours just has something nebulous like ‘try not to’ due to our old CEO being an ethics theologist. They really don’t understand that in the workplace you need to have the old ‘don’ts’ spelt out because there will always be those idiots who’ll do anything.
Yes, I’m only wondering if she is screwing other students - have no idea, but she obviously hasn’t got a problem with it. My ex student assistant wanted to date her properly, but she told him she wasn’t into that. For some reason, if she wanted to have a relationship it seems a little different.
I don’t think there is a problem with staff at a university having a relationship (intimate or otherwise) with students if the staff member is not in a position to influence decisions regarding the student’s education. It becomes a problem when the staff member has a direct ability to affect the student, say giving them passing or failing grades. Like others have said, if it involves two consenting adults, it’s not really any of your business. Of course, having sex in a public place is probably against the law (public nudity laws or whatever), so there is that issue.
If your unit hasn’t spelled it out, even though every other unit has, I think you have their answer. They don’t care. You shouldn’t either.
If no one is complaining that they’re being slighted on the job due to this “power play”, why should you care? I personally feel it’s no one’s place to tell anyone who they can or cannot screw in the adult world. Ethics belong to the individual if the company hasn’t laid out their expectations. Just because it’s not kosher for you doesn’t mean it isn’t for them.
I think it’s typically a bad idea, but if there are no rules against it, what pray tell did you intend to do? Whine anyway that she’s doing it? You have to realize that this just isn’t a wise idea for you. If she’s that connected and you’re telling on her for boinking a student, it’ll just make any legitimate complaints that you might have look like they’re just petty jealousy. Save your effort for anything that’s actually against the rules, or for finding a new job.
It appears that what you have now is nothing more than speculation. One should not report mere speculation.
If you care to investigate this manner on your own time, knock yourself out.
You have to ask yourself what good could become of this investigation, what are your motives and what are the potential negatives that could come your way as a result of your investigation.
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I’m sorry . . . I thought the thread title was “Doggy Co-Worker-- what would you do?”
I was gonna say, “Just scratch him behind the ears.”
I guess that wouldn’t work in your case.
Carry on.
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