Does anyone else have this problem with their SO?

I have a friend who’s SO keeps running in and out of her life. He stays with her for awhile, until they have a fight and then he disappears for a week, two weeks or more.

She doesn’t think so, but I think there’s another woman involved. On several occaisions I’ve seen him around town with a woman other than my friend. How do I tell her about this without losing her as a friend?

Have any of you ever had a man do this kind of thing before whether or not there was another woman involved? If so, did you ever find out what was going on and how did it all turn out?

The General Questions forum is for questions with factual answers. This is a sort of survey, so I’ll move it to the In My Humble Opinion forum.

moderator GQ

Sorry about that…

It may be that there is someone else. Or not. The fact that they have fights is a pretty positive indicator that they shouldn’t be together, and I suspect that’s what he’s trying to get at.

Just a guess…

Problem is that, is you don’t have actual proof. Just because you’ve seen him around town with other women doesn’t prove anything. Last time I checked, guys are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex.

Granted, this guy sounds like an a-hole. The best you can do is point out how she’s being treated like shit without getting preachy. I don’t know how much that will do though. Women tend to be stubborn about the people the supposedly love. It’s going to be pretty hard to see how he’s treating her when she’s on the in and can’t see it herself. Otherwise, don’t get involved too much and be there when she finally realises what a jerk he is.

Regardless if another woman is involved, the guy has a problem. In fact, so does the woman to allow this guy to trivalize the relationship by disappearing for a week.

If the woman wants a life with this guy, she needs to get used to this. However, if she wants a one-woman man who is home, has a mature attitude and desires the same as she does, then she needs to grow up herself, make a decision, give the creep an ultimatum and follow through.

If someone keep rubbing mud into the doormat, he has a problem. If she keeps acting like the doormat, she has a problem.

You can’t, maybe. Best to mind your business and let her figure it out for herself. Just try to be there for her if she needs you.

I’ve never been with a guy like this and wouldn’t be. It doesn’t sound promising.