Does anyone have a child with ADD ?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My seven year old daughter has ADD, she is a really sweet little girl, but she is really immature for her age, she still acts like she’s about four.

I have a tough time dealing with her sometimes. She still loves Barney, I guess that’s not cool in the first grade, and kids make fun of her for it. I try to tell her to stand up for herself, but she had a hard time with that, so she just cries a lot, so I tell her to bring something else to school to play with and that upsets her. On the bus, my son defends her, but in the classroom it’s a problem.

Sometimes I just lose patience with her. She is so pokey, trying to get her out of the house is a very stressful thing. And when I ask her to do something, she doesn’t do it. She’s not trying to be bad, but she gets distracted, so I feel like I have to do it for her or follow her around to make sure she does it.

Does anyone else go through this ? Any suggestions to make it any easier ?

2

I can’t offer much help personally, but it looks like this message board might have some good resources.

3

My daughter has ADD and I understand the frustration you’re having. Trying to get my daughter to finish dinner has always been a chore. It’s not that she hated her food either. She would just daze off and her food would sit unless you were always right on top of her. It was the same with homework. We, her parents, and her various teachers through the years would explain her behavior as being a result of being a very premature baby and needing time to catch up. That was until this year. Her school put her though a group of test to try and ascertain the reason for her not producing at school. The results were that she tested as gifted and she displayed the signs of having ADD. With a referral to a local psychiatrist, she was officially diagnosed and started medication. I will be the first to tell you, I was weary of ‘drugging up’ my kid. But between the visits to the doctor and her taking the meds, my daughter came home a few weeks ago with a report card that was straight A’s and one B. As you can imagine, tackling that problem has gone along way to improving her over all self-esteem. I’m so proud of her.

Has your daughter seen a psychiatrist yet? It has really helped us out alot. I cannot stress enough how important it has been to have a good relationship with that doctor. The open communication has helped greatly with adjusting medication and evaluating her progress. Good luck with everthing.

~t

4

My son has been diagnoised with ADHD. Special classes at school for kids with similiar issues and the right medication (when I finally let them put him on medication) has been a lifesaver for all of us.

5

My son was diagnosed last November with ADHD. He responded very well to Ritalin, and it has made all the difference.

Still, he doesn’t stay on task or transition well. Like your daughter, he won’t sit still to finish a meal. He eats, but he’s constantly jumping up out of his chair and leaving the table. Engaging him in our conversation has helped, since he is less likely to get bored and distracted.

As far as the transitioning goes, we have learned to give him extra time to get ready. Sometimes as much as 15 minutes before we leave, we let him know. That’s helped a lot in reducing his anxiety about the transition. We still have to keep after him, and often repeat instructions or questions for him. Even if he hears us perfectly well, his first response to us is usually “What?” It’s a little trying, but we just deal with it.

With his homework, we do have to stay on top of him. He won’t work independently. Still, he has formulated his own routine – math first, then spelling, then reading. He takes a lot of delight in crossing each one off the list when he’s finished with it. Routine is important to him.

Being the parent of an ADHD child requires a lot of attention and sticking with it. It can be a tiring and frustrating thing at times. But it is also rewarding when your combined efforts bear fruit. We just got his third quarter progress report from school, and he has improved in many areas since last quarter.

As others have asked, have you taken your daughter to a psychiatrist? Is she on medication? Have you consulted anyone about coping skills? What is her teacher and the school’s administration doing to help? You don’t have to carry this weight alone. There are many avenues for getting support, and you should avail yourself of them.

Good luck.

6

One son with ADD, one daughter with ADD, One Husband with ADHD.

Life at the Lyllyan house is a circus.
The kids are both on meds, I held off as long as I could and as was reasonable. Though the son is doing better since he began Ritalin, I can see a huge difference between ages 7 and 9 with regards to maturity. He too, was rather immature for his age, but that is changing rapidly, as are his homework habits. The daughter, well, haven’t seen any vast improvements there yet, but I have to remember that she is 15 and sometimes even “normal” kids act like she does. The DH, however, is another story. As I said, Major ADHD and refuses all meds, and drinks only water so it’s not like I could slip something in his drink.
The only advice I could give would be to practice patience. Devote your full attention to your kids during homework time, with a little distraction as possible. Make a routine of it, so your child knows what to expect. I use to try doing homework at the kitchen table while I was getting dinner ready, but that just left too many distractions.

You may want to check out ConductDisorders.com. It a is a message board community of parents with kids of all kinds. Lots of good advice and support there, too.
Good Luck!

7

Well, if nothing else, your child will almost certainly lead a very interesting life.

I’ve got ADD. They diagnosed me when I was fifteen. Over the years I’ve learned to not only live with my “disability,” but to embrace it. It can sometimes be advantageous in life to think differently from other people. And while some of the disadvantages of ADD are, to say the least, a real drag, I find that this syndrome comes with some perks that more than compensate.

Currently I’m thirty-one. Still in school, but with a 4.O GPA, and I’m not getting any of the special disability help some schools offer–you know, waivers for difficult classes, extra time with tests, and the like. I’m happily married–at least most of the time ;)–and have a gorgeous seven-week-old baby. I also have a dog who is himself learning disabled. Financially, I’m in pretty good shape. I can support my family and send myself through school anyway. I also managed to get through one of the military’s most difficult academic courses without too many problems–nobody knew I had a “learning problem,” and I graduated near the top of my class. In addition to my family, work, and school, I entertain myself with a variety of creative activities. My creative work is very fulfilling and other people seem to like it as well.

The point of all this? Just that you can have a full and happy life despite this “disability”–which, AFAIC isn’t a disability at all.

Which is not to say that I don’t have trouble. I’m the world’s worst organizer, I know how to talk myself into trouble like nobody else, and the dictionary people will someday print my picture next to the word “Procrastination.”

For example, right now I should be getting ready to go to the doctor. Because I will disrobe for some tests that need to be run, I should probably find some clean underwear. However, instead of searching for a presentable undergarment, I find myself sitting here, naked (because I started to get ready, but got side-tracked), talking to you.

Somehow I manage to stay focused on school and at work, though, so people just assume I’m eccentric.

Meds are useful for a lot of people with ADD, but they didn’t work for me. Maybe they would have except that the powers-that-be in my life more or less tried to shove them down my throat. Anyway, I’m much happier not having to rely on meds to get through life, although they can certainly be a good tool in some cases.

A great resource is http://www.chadd.org/index.htm Most of these people are both nice and very understanding and they can provide you with a wealth of information and good leads to other resources. They also run support groups in most towns, and I think there might be a list of them at their site. If not I have a list of every CHADD support group in the United States somewhere, and will be glad to dig it up and give it to you. I myself wasn’t overly impressed with my local support group, but from what I’m told by other people who have or deal with people who have ADD, I’m very much in the minority. Most people who go to the CHADD groups think they’re great.

Anyway, I’ve really got to go. According to the clock on my computer screen, I have less than thirteen minutes to find that clean underwear, shower, get dressed, and be ready for my wife to come home.

Good luck and don’t despair!

P.S. I was going to provide the titles for some good books on this subject, but I’m too pressed for time. Preview and some editing here has me down to five minutes until my wife shows up to drive me to the doctor. Guess I’ll be late. Aw well, anybody that makes half a grand an hour can wait on me for a couple minutes.

:smiley: