This is a question somewhat related to the recent Does anyone have the generic “job”? thread. I’m wondering if you or anyone you know leads a lifestyle that is straight from a stack of stock photographs. You know, where …
You are very attractive, in a corporate kind of way.
You work at a job where you wear a suit all the time.
You have frequent meetings, usually with attractive male and female co-workers of all races.
You carry a briefcase everywhere.
You use your cell phone a lot, mostly for business.
You give firm, solid, corporate-style handshakes to many other people in suits, every day.
You clench and punp your fist anytime something good happens; for instance making a sale or visiting a Web site.
You smile. All. The. Time.
You give presentations with a lot of charts that depict upward-trending lines.
When you walk, you look up at skyscrapers, and “imagine the possibilities” or “envision the opportunities” or something like that.
If you’re a woman, you frequently leap while you walk.
In your leisure time, you use a laptop computer in exotic locations, such as a beach, the end of a pier, or the middle of a prairie field.
At home, you frequently use a laptop computer while you’re sprawled out on your couch.
You and your equally attractive mate vacation along empty beaches at the water’s edge, dressed in white linen with your pant legs rolled halfway up your calves and white linen shirt unbuttoned most of the way, the female spouse/partner in a full-length skirt with a slit and white bikini top, while your blond moppet kids cavort happily in the surf.
I may qualify as well as any. I have a fully restored antique New England colonial home on a picture perfect 2 1/2 rugged yet beautiful acres. Fall is approaching and people stop and take picture of it and its surroundings very often. In the driveway is my wife’s BMW and my SUV. The house is immaculately appointed with every detail donated from all over and gifts from fabulously wealthy family and friends. My wife is an attractive woman (otherwise why the hell would I be there :)) and has a great career in the gourmet food distribution business and travels the world looking for new cheeses and other specialty items to bring to new U.S. markets. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter that is smart as a whip and a two month old daughter that could star on a whole line of postcards. Even though I live in the Boston area, my 18 mile drive to work might as well be in Vermont because the whole route is a long series of quaint historical districts. My office building is on a large campus of its own and has every aminity you could want with a whole suite of young and attractive coworkers. On the weekends, we often travel to my in-laws 300 acre weekend farm in New Hampshire to vistit family and my wife and daughter’s beautiful horse and pony. For vacations, we usually stay with friends in France or at my in-laws place in the Virgin Islands overlooking the Carribean.
Don’t think I am bragging. There is more small and large things screwed up behind the scenes than I would have feared but it does make a nice album
50% of my life is probably somewhat like a stock photo, it would be 100% except I’ve never seen anyone masturbating like a motherfuck on any stock photos.
Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?
I sure hope there aren’t any stock photos of a somewhat plain white gay guy in his undies and unruly hair seated in his home in front of an aging computer, surrounded by mess, many empty coffee mugs, and enough dictionaries to provide a small modern languages section to the Library of Alexandria.
As much as I’d like to claim we live the stock photo lifestyle, we are more like poster children for the high tech geek lifestyle. Both work at home (most of the time), both could stand to lose a little weight, tend to wear pajamas for days on end.
We clean up good, though. We could almost be stock photo people, in a Northwoods outdoorsy type of way. That is, when we manage to get out of our pajamas.
You are very attractive, in a corporate kind of way.
I like to think so
You work at a job where you wear a suit all the time.
I wear a suit when I want some attention
You have frequent meetings, usually with attractive male and female co-workers of all races.
Yup
You carry a briefcase everywhere.
No
You use your cell phone a lot, mostly for business.
I only have a cell phone (and a Blackberry)
You give firm, solid, corporate-style handshakes to many other people in suits, every day.
Yes. And I look them in the eye.
You clench and punp your fist anytime something good happens; for instance making a sale or visiting a Web site.
I say “BOOYA!”
You smile. All. The. Time.
I smile about a regular amount. But usually I travel with a bunch of boisterous 20 and 30 something guys cracking jokes.
You give presentations with a lot of charts that depict upward-trending lines.
Hopefully
When you walk, you look up at skyscrapers, and “imagine the possibilities” or “envision the opportunities” or something like that.
If you’re a woman, you frequently leap while you walk.
In your leisure time, you use a laptop computer in exotic locations, such as a beach, the end of a pier, or the middle of a prairie field.
I stopped after IT wouldn’re replace another laptop because it was filled with sand, water and wheat
At home, you frequently use a laptop computer while you’re sprawled out on your couch.
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No…I have a small workstation.
Don’t forget these:
-Go out on overpriced dinners with your multicultural friends
-Frequently drink in upscale bars with your Banana Republic looking friends laughing and looking casual
-Walk in the park with your pretty brunette girlfriend stoping to look at every dog and small child who does something cute
