There is some Atkins backlash in this thread that is beside the point.
A host or hostess has no responsibility whatsoever to accommodate the dietary preferences of his or her guests, even if they are based on moral or religious convictions. The host/ess is giving a gift to the guests, and it is impolite for recipients to dictate the terms of the gift. The gracious thing to do is to be nice and eat whatever you can. I don’t think it is proper to make any suggestions or demands regarding the menu.
Have you ever actually tried to cook a kosher meal? You simply cannot do it in most kitchens. My humblest apologies if I’m wrong, and it’s something you faced enough times to have learned to deal with it, but most people would not be able to assemble something appropriate. (I’m sure Jewish folks have somewhat differing standards for what qualifies as kosher; this is just from having known a very few kosher Jews.) Misrepresenting your food as kosher because you didn’t put any pork in, and didn’t mix meat and dairy, is not a nice thing to do.
Nestlé is still a bunch of vile assholes, and I won’t buy their products. However, I’m a vegetarian who will make exceptions to avoid offense when it’s necessary. At a dinner party, it’s easy enough to pass on meat dishes, but there are other times when if you’re not eating meat, it’s noticed, and could be perceived as an insult. I guess I’m more pragmatic than most people, and while I’ve been a vegetarian for quite a few years, I do find myself eating meat a few times a year for social reasons. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid the trouble, and it’s not as though I’m saving a cow by skipping dinner. While if someone’s on a special diet, especially a medically-indicated one, they might not be able to eat the problem food at all, as a vegetarian (and not for religious reasons) I don’t have to carry that burden, so I certainly would feel terrible imposing it on others.
If I ate meat, I would still likely make sure to serve plenty of vegetarian fare at a dinner party, just for the practical reason that chances are, many of the attendees (in my circles) would be various types of vegetarian. And to me, it seems pretty easy to create vegetarian dishes that are acceptable to everyone. Atkins, in contrast, involves quite a switch from a normal diet. And judging by the array of special hyper-processed Atkins foods that mimick non-Atkins counterparts, the Atkins diet isn’t even particularly satisfying to them. Most of my friends would be fine eating vegetarian; I imagine Atkins wouldn’t go over quite so well.
So when I hang out with friends on Atkins, we get takeout. That way I don’t have to worry, and they can get what they like. If a lot of people in your circle have weird dietary issues, don’t throw dinner parties. And you’re under no obligation to serve anything but what you like - any accomodation to vegetarians, Atkins-types, Kosher Jews, Muslims, fruititarians, macrobioticists, Whole Foods-fanatics, Seventh-Day Adventists or Breatharians is nice, but it’s not required. If a lot of people in a group have some dietary need, it’s probably a good idea to serve something appropriate. But then, if everyone you’re inviting is a Macrobiotic Seventh-Day Adventist on Atkins, invite them over for a card game and some nice mineral water.
No – I would never call my meal kosher. What I mean is, I have several friends who keep somewhat kosher. They won’t eat pork, mix milk and dairy, and the such. Or I look for the products with circle-K, U on them, which I know to be certified kosher. Also, this is the reason for the vegetarian options. I’m not about to figure out how to properly prepare kosher meat. I also know the restriction about grape products.
I would never misrespresent my food as 100% kosher, but as a Gentile, I try my best to accomodate. If I know somebody keeps strict kosher, then I would specifically ask them what I can do to make something edible according to their dietary restrictions. It’s not that hard.
Well, Pul, I think you hit the crux of the problem–“If I know somebody keeps strict kosher.” That’s the problem, right there. The hostess in the OP didn’t know, because the pouty guest in question never bothered to tell her, and she didn’t feel it necessary to go around and ask every single invitee if they had dietary restrictions. She was apparently more than happy to work something out with those guests who told her about their restrictions, so I think she would likely have figured something out for the Atkins guest, too. If she had known.
Kind of a hijack here–wouldn’t someone who really keeps kosher not even be able to eat at a gentile’s house? I mean, I don’t keep two separate sets of plates lying around, so there’s no way to accomodate that, anyway. It seems to me if someone’s dietary restrictions–for whatever reason–are that serious, then they should be prepared to either bring their own stuff, not eat anything, or don’t come at all. I don’t think a guest has the right to be offended that the host did not call every single guest and ask what they liked. If the guest really cared, she should have said something before hand–and not been insulted if the host didn’t accommodate her needs.
It’s tricky, but it can be done - paper plates, etc. are very handy for this purpose. (The cooking, etc, are another sotry.) Other than that, I agree with you entirely.
The few Kosher-keeping people I know well enough to have over to my place generally do as you suggest - they plan not to eat there. (They may have a canned soda or something, but that’s about it.)
Therein lies some of the misconceptions about Atkins. If your friends on Atkins are eating just the hyper-processed “franken-foods” sold with “Lo-Carb!” or “Atkins Approved!” on the labels then they’re really not following Atkins correctly. Atkins doesn’t really involve that much of a switch from a normal diet. It involves lots of lean meats, fresh veggies, some fruits (in limited amounts), whole wheat bread (again, limited amounts, and not till you’re past Induction), and plenty of water. All you cut out are complex carbs, excess sugar (like sodas) and sweets.
I’d be interested in knowing what your Atkins-eating friends order from take-out.
I am a Christian that observes the clean/unclean meat laws found in the old Testament (NOT strict kosher, though). This means I don’t eat pork, or shellfish, that sort of thing. However, I don’t expect everyone else to cater to this. If I go to someone’s home and they have ham on the table, I’ll just eat potatoes or salad (no bacon, please! ), without a fuss, explaining if asked why I’m passing on the meat. Of course, most people who’d invite me to dinner already know and usually prepare something I can eat! But I’ve known people who will ask if the cake has lard in it, or if the bread does–this I do NOT do. I always fall back on the verse (I can’t remember where it is now–shame on me!) that says to eat what is set before you, asking no questions for conscience’s sake. I mean, if I KNOW it’s something I can’t eat (like BBQ pork), I’ll pass, but I don’t go searching through someone’s kitchen cabinets to be sure the all the food is “legal.”
I am also on WW (32 pounds now!!), but I will choose among the dishes to eat what I can, or even (gasp!) take a break and just enjoy the evening–there’s no need to expect every host to bow and scrape trying to please each and every dieter, because it just canNOT be done!
People with allergies, intolerances, and adverse reactions (like my Dad–peanuts make him terribly ill) know that they should inform the host, or just quietly ask about the menu–which I am quite certain they do, for their own safety.
The upshot is–there’s no need to be a big jerk about your eating habits!
lol, even as a gentile, I can cook a kosher meal…I used to live with a lovely jewish man who kept kosher, and in my barn, I have carefully packed away 2 sets of dishes, 1 meat and 1 dairy, 2 sets eating and cooking utensiles, meat and dairy, and 2 sets of cookware, meat and dairy=) All I have to do is clean my regular items out of the cupboards, do a thorough clean on my kitchen, run the selfcleaner on my oven and do an empty dishwasher run on sterilize and unpack my stuff and I am ready to go=) I even know some killer recipes=)
When I am camping, I have a huge 20qt stock pot, a cutting board, a knife set, and a ladle that have never come into contact with meat or dairy, and I make an absolutely killer totally vegan minestrone that also is totally kosher=) [i throw a party at pennsic every year for upwards of 60 people and we have a fair number of people who are jewish/muslim/vegan that I like to be hospitable towards=)
People, people, people. The purpose of going to a social gathering is not to get a free meal cooked to your specifications. I’m a non-drinking vegetarian. If someone invites me, I tell them that. If I’m there unannounced, it’s only an informal party, and I eat what I can.
I work with a woman whose diet for the past ten years has been bagel & coffee for breakfast, ice cream/frozen yoghurt/sorbet for lunch and a salad and wine for dinner. Nothing else. I would never expect anyone to cater to that pickiness. We’ve had nice catered affairs for office lunches, and she passes and eats her frozen pint.
The worst are the children who can’t go to other children’s parties cause their parents have something against the “junk food” that will be served. What a horrible way to raise a child, allowing for no fun in eating (of course, I’m not talking allegies. I’m talking picky eating).
Regarding Kosher cooking… it all kind of depends on how strictly kosher people want to be.
We have two good friends who keep Kosher, but they do eat out, and eat with friends, so they are not as “strict” when it comes to cooking utensils and such.
We respect their religious beliefs, and when I cook for them we keep that in mind. Last time they came for dinner, I had cooked a chinese meal (with no shellfish and no pork - quite a feat!)… we had gotten Kosher meats, made sure all our stuff was approved (including the noodles!) and so forth. I asked them for confirmations if I was stuck, and how to read labels for what I needed to know!
They were super helpful and we had a great meal and a fun time
Of course, if I had strict Kosher friends, short of bombing my kitchen and stripping it totally bare, I could never cook at purely strictly kosher meal
nods I don’t know enough Jewish people to know the whole spectrum of adherence. I’ve known a few strict kosher Jews, and read some about it out of interest, and it completely destroyed any fantasies I might have had about cooking my strict Jewish friends incredibly delicious meals.
:rolleyes: I don’t criticize them, because it’s none of my business how they do Atkins, even when I can tell they’re not exactly following it. In fairness, though, one friend who did the cliché “meat and grease” diet that Atkins dieters (correctly) point out as Not Atkins lost quite a bit of weight, quite quickly.
And it came back when she went back to her starch-lovin’ ways (me, I’ll keep my lard-ass until I stop loving all them guilt-inducing foods.)
However, as far as I can tell, while real Atkins dieting doesn’t sound anywhere near as bad as it’s made out to be, I simply can’t see how it could be made anything close to vegetarian, and being a vegetarian myself, and also a liberal college kid who naturally has quite a few vegetarian friends, I don’t see how I could cook easily to accommodate both.
Hence the fact that I’m far more likely to invite people over for takeout and movies . . .
I must say, I’m entirely unfamiliar with Christians practicing these dietary restrictions. Is this a ‘movement’ of some sort, or a denomination that I’m unfamiliar with? Or is it entirely a personal decision? I’d be interested to hear more about it if you’re interested in discussing it.
When I am a host I follow a two level system for food guidelines.
Level 1 I take full responsability that my food won’t damage the health or soul of my guests, so avoid Pork for Muslims or Jews, Beef for Hindus, any nuts for nut allegy sufferers, sugar for diabetics, no rare cooked meat or raw egg used if a guest is pregnant, etc. I ensure as far as possible my food meets such requirements and will make sure I know guests with such requirements. This I ensure applys to the entire meal.
Level 2 for people with simply diet or ethical or pickyness requirements, I ensure there is food enough suitable for them, but some dishes I make may be off limit (there may be a vegitarian and non vegitarian option for instance). Unless a group has a majority of people with the particular requirement.
), without a fuss, explaining if asked why I’m passing on the meat. Of course, most people who’d invite me to dinner already know and usually prepare something I can eat! But I’ve known people who will ask if the cake has lard in it, or if the bread does–this I do NOT do. I always fall back on the verse (I can’t remember where it is now–shame on me!) that says to eat what is set before you, asking no questions for conscience’s sake. I mean, if I KNOW it’s something I can’t eat (like BBQ pork), I’ll pass, but I don’t go searching through someone’s kitchen cabinets to be sure the all the food is “legal.”