Does "gerbling" porn exist?

Factual Questions
1

After a friend sent me a horrific link to surprise japanese eel porn the other week - a video which comprised of a woman stuffing a living eel into her vagina and anus - I started wondering about the old “gerbling” urban legend.

Through the internet, it’s clear that there’s a ton of bizarre porn out there, including stuff that involves the aforementioned eels, poop and poop eating, and well as things like women stepping on or live-swallowing bugs and rodents (I once saw a gross clip on one of those “college humor”-type websites that had a woman swallowing a live mouse).

With that in mind, it doesn’t seem that far fetched that there would be some real gerbling porn out there - that involves rodents being tricked into or stuffed into the vagina and/or anus.

I’m morbidly curious - does it in fact exist? It seems like literally every other perversion is catered to out there. Either way, I don’t want to see it, but for some reason I have to know.

2

Two words: Raggot and Armageddon. I will say no more.

3

Rule 34 works too.

4

For those of you lucky enough to not understand this, Rule 34 states that “if you can think of it, there’s porn of it.”

5

Not quite the same thing, but several years ago I read an article I assume was legit about “crush” films- women in spiked heels squishing and killing various small mammals.

6

The origin of Rule #34 is from a webcomic everyone should know by now. :smiley:

7

That’s not the origin. The origin is /b. If you don’t know what /b is, be very glad.

8

Is it true what they say about gerbils

[quote=StraightDope]
[ul]
[li]A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup,[/li](Makes sense, Log Cabin Syrup bottles have uncomfortable square edges)
[li]an ax handle, [/li](A poorly hatched plan)
[li]a nine-inch zucchini, [/li](Size queen)
[li]countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, [/li](As opposed to a the 24 inch model attached to a lantern battery)
[li]a plastic spatula, [/li](That flips me out)
[li]a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, [/li](Ass douche)
[li]a deodorant bottle, [/li](Psst, it’s a Secret)
[li]a Coke bottle, [/li](16 ounce? Quart? 64 ounce Boss?)
[li]a large bottle cap, [/li](A bit more comfy than a hubcap)
[li]numerous other bottles, [/li](Oh, Baby!)
[li]a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, [/li](The predecessor to [eels](http:// bizarrejapan.blogspot.com/2007/09/ unagi-eel-porn-sick-yes-but-it-sells.html))
[li]an 11-inch carrot, [/li](What’s up yer ass, doc?)
[li]an antenna rod, [/li](Hopefully retractable)
[li]a 150-watt light bulb, [/li](How bright)
[li]a 100-watt frosted bulb, [/li](None of those yellow bug lights will enter my sphincter)
[li]a cucumber, [/li](Sorry, Doc, the supermarket was outta gherkins)
[li]a screwdriver, [/li](Phillips head or slotted?)
[li]four rubber balls, [/li](2x the fun)
[li]72-1/2 jeweler’s saws, [/li](Oy vay!)
[li]a paperweight, [/li](Office orifice-play)
[li]an apple, [/li](Who’s your source?)
[li]an onion, [/li](We’re not talking cocktail onions)
[li]a plastic toothbrush package, [/li](What, no floss?)
[li]two bananas, [/li](Peeled or unpeeled?)
[li]a frozen pig’s tail, [/li](Detached from the pig)
[li]a ten-inch length of broomstick,[/li](Witch has gotta hurt)
[li]an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, [/li](No galoshes, that woulda been a real kick in the ass)
[li]a plantain encased in a condom, [/li](Irradiated produce protcetion)
[li]two Vaseline jars, [/li](I had a coupon)
[li]a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, [/li](No Drambouie?)
[li]a teacup, [/li](The coffee mug wouldn’t fit)
[li]an oil can, [/li](A can full of can)
[li]a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, [/li](->Insert Tim the Toolman Taylor grunt here<-)
[li]a six-inch stone weighing two pounds, [/li](I just shit a brick)
[li]a baby powder can, [/li](Talc about stupidity)
[li]a test tube, [/li](The first attempt and making an ass baby gone terribly wrong)
[li]a ball-point pen, [/li](Wh waste money on a MontBlanc when a bic does the trick)
[li]a peanut butter jar, [/li](Lemme guess, chunky variety?)
[li]candles, [/li](Seems to me, your sex life’s like a candle in the wind )
[li]baseballs, [/li](…been beddy beddy pain in me)
[li]a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, [/li](Fire Island sand?)
[li]sewing needles, [/li](Cinching?)
[li]a flashlight, [/li](A fleshlight woulda been funnier)
[li]a half-filled tobacco pouch, [/li](For a post-coital smoke)
[li]a turnip, [/li](Don’t they wax those things?)
[li]a pair of eyeglasses, [/li](Myopia?)
[li]a hard-boiled egg, [/li](Hold the salt)
[li]a carborundum grindstone (with handle), [/li](How macho)
[li]a suitcase key, [/li](I always put my keys back on the ring)
[li]a syringe, [/li](Cringe)
[li]a file, [/li](But doc, the fuckin’ hemorrhoid was killing me)
[li]tumblers and glasses, [/li](Apparently hooking up with a guy who was BYOing the whiskey)
[li]a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, [/li](Plumbing problems?)
[li]and much, much more.[/ul]…though everybody has heard about gerbil stuffing, every attempt to track down an actual case has come to naught. [/li][/quote]

9

Thanks a lot John. Now I can’t get the tune Is It True What They Say About Dixie? outa my head.

*Is it true what they say about gerbils?
Does each queer stuff his rear through a tube?
Is the little po-po packer all cozy in his nest?
Did some dude drop in a cracker because he felt depressed?

Is it true 'bout those found foreign objects?
Did they stink of the sphinc-ter and lube?
Do folks shove things for love, or because of OCD?
Either way, I’ll just stay with TP.*

10

You can’t find it anymore here – thank goodness! – but as I’ve reported elsewhere on the Board, I have personally witnessed a lady stuff two large frogs all the way into her vagina and then dance around with a flipper sticking out to prove they were still up there. She followed that, after removing the frogs, by inserting a large snake as far as it would go. Someone I know watched a girl stuff a bird up her vagina, but something went horribly wrong, and the poor bird did not survive :(. (I mean the bird bird, not the girl.) The police mercifully decided this was all a tad too much even for Thailand and so cracked down on these types of shows, and good for them. I did not seek out the frog show, just happened while I was there and was not a regular feature of that bar, but it sure was something to see once!

Nothing would surprise me about Japanese porn.

11

How do you “trick” a rodent into entering an orifice?

12

Promise it a cigarette afterwards and a phone call in the morning?

13

I have to wrap my gerbils in duct tape so they don’t pop when I stick it in them.

14

Four days into 208, and **JohnBckWLD ** wins funniest post of the year.

15

Maybe that’s because 208 was a very short year?

16

A policeman I knew back in Texas said the strangest thing his wife, a nurse, claimed to have personally seen pulled out of back there in the emergency room was a clock radio. Really.

17

Moderator note

JohnBckWLD, I have broken the “eel porn” link in your post, since it is decidedly Not Safe for Work and breaks the “two clicks” rule. Please do not do this again.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

18

Actually, this column by Cecil, as well as the one about What They Used Before Toilet Paper were what got me into reading Cecil’s books in the first place some 20 years ago… They are both in the second Straight Dope book, which remains my favorite of the collections.