Dear Friends;
I really enjoy my time spent here. Most of you seem like very nice people. ( And a rather bright group). I don’t know why, but it bothers me when someone chooses to flame some comment I make. I usually don’t say anything at all in these threads.( compared to how many I read). It seems, tho, what I take as an opinion, some take as an offense to their person. My first mistake was to make a comment that I didn’t think the TV show “Arrested Development” was the greatest television show, ever. Boy, that was a mistake. People came out of the woodwork to tell me how stupid I must be.
Today, I made a comment that I thought " Herbie, fully loaded" was another in Hollywood’s long list of movies made because they can’t find new ideas. No, I didn’t see the movie.
I got flamed.
perhaps, I’m being too sensitive. I know that, like life, this place has it’s share of all types of people. I know that the annonymity of boards causes some to show a side of themselves that they might not show in person. But, I don’t make a habit of attacking people personally for making a comment in these rooms. If you bother to read my past posts, you’ll see I’m a rather decent fellow, who has little to say. I don’t go on rants.
Guess I AM being too sensitive. Perhaps I should just sit at the back of the room to fly under everyone’s radar. I don’t think this is a place where one should have to do that.
Sometimes it really burns me up but most of time I’m able to let it slide. After all, it may be the way I’m reading it that puts an insulting tone to it.
I’ve been flying under the radar here for quite some time and it is quite fun.
I wouldn’t say it bothers me, but it annoys me when people are snarky when there’s no reason to not be polite. Not just to me, also when I see responses to others that are rude when there’s no need. Starting posts with “Ummm…”, or using rolleyes, that type of thing.
No one likes being flamed… but being flamed in the topics you said you got flamed sure seems unwarranted ! You might be a bit sensitive… but not much. SMDB requires some flame resistant personality or just flame right back !
Stick around as a lurker if need be… but the flaming isn’t nice for sure.
I agree that the response was probably an overreaction to your comment, but you need to realize when you post on a message board that there will always be people who disagree with you, and sometimes people can be jerks. Especially in an anonymous setting.
I learned a long time ago not to take it personally when some worthless idiot posts a ranting diatribe against one of my perfectly reasonable and well thought out comments. Who do they think they are, anyway?
Ah, blow it off. IME, most of the flaming here is done by a relatively small handful of members. In addition to the type of behavior you’ve mentioned, they can be counted on to show up in each and every Pit Pile On. Why should one care about the spewings of such people?
That was an over-the-top reaction and I’m sorry that it happened. I’m also pretty sensitive at times too, so I know where you are coming from. I just try to turn it off before I post here. Before I post I will look at what I wrote and try to imagine every way it could be disagreed with. Then I will laugh and submit it, and when people write exactly what I thought they would, as they do 90% of the time, I am perfectly prepared to deal with it.
Sometimes they surprise me with their venom, but I put that down to normal human idiocy and try to ignore it. There are some poor people in the world who feel better when they get angry at others. They want more than anything else for people to respond to them. Just don’t give them the pleasure. Give them your pity, and go on with your wonderful life.
I mostly chuckle over it, because it’s usually over something really petty and ridiculous. I mean, I got flamed once because I posted that I thought aromatherapy was really dumb.
Mostly I just roll my eyes and move on. Getting into fights over the internet is pretty stupid, imo, it’s just road rage for nerds.
I still take it really personally whenever I get flamed. To this day, there are people on this board I despise just because they went out of their way to be dicks to me once. That one time is all it takes. I know people get really brave online, and I’d love to see those same people dare say the same things to my face. Since I know they wouldn’t dare, I let it go, but it still hurts and annoys at the time.
It would only bother me in some circumstances. If I posted that a relative died and I feel guilty about it and then I got flamed, then I would take that hard. OTOH, if I posted well thought out reasons why I don’t like uinions and people flamed me instead of giving an intelligent debate the that wouldn’t bother me at all. I would just laugh at their idiocy. Most flames generally fall into the latter category and most times I think it is funny.
I’ve never gotten flamed. I don’t think that it would bother though. Why should it? As long as you can back up your facts you are all right and if someone is pitting for an opinion that you have expressed then just ignore them. There is no rule here that you have to respond to any threads or posts.
I don’t see any point in flaming a person because of their opinion about a TV show or a movie. It’s like flaming someone because they prefer Dr. Pepper over Coke.
I can see flaming a particular TV show or movie, because you think it’s stupid.
On a side note, I don’t think Hollywood does remakes because they lack ideas. They do remakes because they’re trying to make a safe buck. They get lots of scripts with new ideas; usually they just don’t want to take a chance on something that’s “unproven.” It’s very much a business. It’s like the stock market. Do you want to invest a lot of money on something that is uncertain, or something that has a steady return? I think video/DVD/foreign sales–which more and more make up the profit a production returns–affect this decision a lot. People are more likely to see an unusual movie only when it’s in a theater. In a video store, they’ll ignore it.
JohnT’s answer was over the top. He could have conveyed the same information without being snarky. But maybe he had a bad day. I don’t see this kind of response too often - or I don’t notice it.
To answer your question: It depends on the day. Most days I try to let it slide. Some days it can really pull my trigger. On those days, I try to wait until I cool down to respond - but I don’t always succeed.
Unfortunately, with the absence of facial expression and in those cases when someone is being sarcastic but unobviously so, it’s easy to misconstrue someone’s intent. I know I’ve read people wrong. Hopefully a quick clarification will soothe the waters but enough times it seems to go awry anyway. Try and write it off, as mentioned previously, as someone just having a bad day. It most certainly happens. Still, flaming in Cafe does seem inappropriate and I’m sorry to hear you were the beneficiary of such.
If it’s minor or I think someone’s just having a bad day, I can just let it go. But, yep, there’s one or two here it’ll be years before I’m interested in having a conversation with again… if ever at all. Shame, as it was completely unnecessary.
Getting flamed can suck sometimes. But like some other people have said there are a handful of people who will argue with anything because they can get away with it. If they’re a real jerk, their time here is limited. There are some people who argue just because they like the attention, I would wager they are like this in real life as well. I have encountered quite a few people who will start something just to get a rise out of you. It’s sad, you can only feel bad for them though.
Try not to take it hard. It’s easier said than done though. I know better than to go into the Pit, but I do it anyways. Then I kick myself for it later. The people in there will bite at anything and will tear you apart 6 ways to Sunday if they can. Some people are jerks, bottom line.
There are times where I get so frustrated taht I don’t want to come back, but I take a few days off to cool down. I realize that they’re nobody and I go on my merry way. Good luck and I hope you stick around.
Sometimes I wish I’d get flamed rather than be ignored. But mostly I just let it go. When I was new to the boards it bothered me much more. Now it’s not a big deal to me, although I will fight back on occasion.
