Does anyone in here speak moron? I need a translation.

I registered at IMDb a while back. Don’t really remember why, as I don’t seem to have done anything with the account for a while until I decided to write a review of Crossing Over. I got involved in a tiny discussion in the IMDb message board for that show, mainly consisting of me and some other rationals asking for cites and suchlike and some morons dropping baseless assertions. A few days ago, I get my very first IMDb private message - this:

For those who are wondering, the “buterfly movie” is Dragonfly, I did love it, and I did more or less apologize for loving that sentimental, soppy, sugar-coated piece of shit.

On to my real question: what does this mean? If he just said something like OMG U MUST BE GAY IF U DONT BELIEV IN LIFE AFTER DETH!!!1111 I’d understand it, he’d be an average moron, no more, no less. But somehow he seems to consider all three of gayness, heterosexuality and homophobia to be insults. I’ve never seen that before. Luckily, I dodge all three of them. Go me.

Then he scolds me for never having anything nice to say. I basically haven’t, on the IMDb, but I haven’t posted much there anyway. This quality of saying only nasty things seems to be somehow, mystically, linked to being gay, hetero, or hetero and homophobic. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be much nice said ever in this world. Hmm, maybe we’re on to something.

Seriously, can anyone make sense of this?

I would also wonder why the person feels being hetero or homophobic is an either/or situation…

Are you sure you really want to understand the thinking (or lack thereof) behind this?

Attracted by your intellegent insight and witty repartee, he feels the need to make a romantic contact with you. Before doing so, he must establish a few basic facts - are you gay and are you atheist? (like most people, he is confused over atheism being synonomous with no belief in life after death).


A suggested response:

I wish I’d posted here before I replied to him. I would have sent him your answer, and then I would have posted his response here, and we could have turned it into an SDMB group effort to outmoron this guy.

Oh well. Next time.

I recently got this pm, after I wrote in a thread about magic that I didn’t believe in magic (On the Mtv boards):

">>>airbourne_acura wrote:
>>>>Do u do any type of magic or sometin?
>>well i dont kno and frankly i dont care…are u havin a attitude now?
do u do any sorcery?.. "

…because magic and sorcery are two totally different things.

Dude, don’t even waste your time on the IMDB boards. Post a review and be done with it.

Have you tried emailing Token White Guy?
While I’m sure he speaks moron, I’m not sure if he’s bilingual and capable of translating.

I was going to suggest nonpolar as a possible translator.

Perhaps I could be of help. I know a little moron.
He’s sitting right over there . . .


Well, in Magic, sorceries can only be cast during your turn while other types of magic can be cast at any time.

Okay, I’ll go away now.

Only if one needs to translate polish logic.

Or dopespeak.

With apologies to Airplane:

“Chi, mo’ fo buttuh layin’ into the bone, ‘sjackin’ me up. Tightly.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Cut he say can’t hang.”
“Oh stewardess? I speak Moron.”
“Oh, good.”

Ah, crap, I just reread my post and it may have looked like I was equating “Jive” with “Moron.” That wasn’t my intention. The OP just automatically made me think of the line “Oh stewardess? I speak Jive.”

So much for trying to be cute. . .