Syphilis can make you go blind so hanging out in Red Light districts may not be they best way to preserve your eyesight as a practical alternative to masturbation. Masturbation can definitely make you go blind in the sense that being dead doesn’t allow you to see. Just ask the people that die every year from auto-erotic asphyxiation.
I don’t think he ever did.
Now, how is he going to ask them if they are dead? 
It’s poor form to assume certain people can’t communicate.
Just ask Helen Keller.
Authoritative answer in [post=11258498]this post[/post].
Tacky, very tacky. :dubious:
Sorry, I thought this thread was in the BBQ Pit because of the, err, everything.
I am unable to read this thread.
This is why ghosts are real… or at least I think they are.
Wait a minute…Ghosts jack…er, masterbait?
Pet cockatiel accidentally a whole package of q-tips. Cockatiel masturbated. Cockatiel to eye vet, see better than I do and I never a whole package of q-tips.
Oh, and trout fisherman are master baiters.
It causes vision impairment, not complete blindness. I had perfect vision when I started masturbating as a teen. Now, rapidly approaching 50, I still masturbate almost daily (some days I just don’t care as much about it, a sign of middle age for sure) but my vision is complete crap. I don’t even try to see without eyeglasses anymore. I can categorically state, however, that my palms have no hair growing from them.
On the plus side, the rabbit will.
And since hairy palms are a telltale sign of being a werewolf, you’ll have even more problems. No doubt this explains why there is so much random violence; all those blind werewolves created by masturbation.
OK fellow Dopers, I know that you tell yourself that Masturbating hasn’t cause you any Ocular Damage, but are you sure?
I can assure you that my body would most definitely know if I was having a swift one off the wrist or if I was giving Halle Berry a savage rogering
Not that I’ve ever given Halle Berry one, but I can dream
How do you know for sure–you said yourself you can’t see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! 
Don’t ask me how I know but a friend told me that if you are exceptionally talented, you can hit your own eyeball with semen while masturbating. It burns like hell too. I guess if you are really, really good you could take out both eyes at once.
You know, now that you mention it, it all makes sense. What? No! I meant Spider-man. Spider bite my arse, the movie clearly showed he could crawl up walls due to several microscopic hairs growing on his hands. The Spider bite just hurt, poor kid was just lonely and kept watching MJ next door and, well, you can figure out the rest.