We’ve got sooo many threads on porn (or, if you prefer, pr0n) that I figured one more wouldn’t clog the system.
According to Naomi Wolf (she of “The Beauty Myth”), it does. I just read “Beauty Myth” and was looking for information on her online. I found this article.
From the article:
Now, this is so contrary to my own experiences that I just thought, the hell? I had problems with her book, too, though, so maybe it’s just me…
I’m not a guy, and I don’t really watch much porn. Unless you count random erotica and “The Sopranos” as porn…ahem. So I can’t say that porn is turning me off male bodies. (Though I’m seriously glad that penises don’t get that big.)
But in my experience as a girl, I’ve never been at a bar where a guy thought, “Hmmm, I could go home with you and get laid, but then again…porn beckons.” Okay, granted, that’s just sex…but I don’t think anyone I know would rather be d/ling porn than in a relationship–unless they had other issues. Which is also fine–being unready for a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a porn addict.
Basically, I’m wondering if you guys have encountered any truth to this statement?
Well, I am not a guy (IANAG) but I think what Wolf was saying in the OP is that women are trying to live up to a standard that is unattainable IRL, unless you happen to work in the porn industry.
I don’t think she is saying that guys would rather look at porn than be with a real woman (well, OK there are some that would, I’m sure), but that women feel they have to look like a porn goddess or be submissive like women in porn in order to get a man.
Since porn seems to be more mainstream than it’s ever been I can see where some women would feel this way.
Yeah, I get that aspect of it…but she does seem to be saying that porn makes you less, not, more desirous of actual sex.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve never felt like I wasn’t measuring up for guys in bed because I don’t look like a porn goddess. I mean, I do have a typically attractive (okay, for our society, blah blah) body, the parts all stand up on their own…maybe if I had a gut or cellulite, I’d feel bad, but I’ve just never felt like I couldn’t measure up because of porn.
Granted, sometimes I do wish I had…you know…an ass. Not necessarily a porn girl’s ass. Just an ass. The guys I bring home may not be all perfect, but generally I assume if I’m in bed with them, it’s all good…you know?
IMHO it says more about something internal to the woman than it says about porn per se. Even if porn where to poof! dissappear, there are other unattainable standards out there, if a woman is so inclined to compare herself to them. Models, actresses, tennis stars, heads of state.
Let’s face it we’re all inadequate somehow as compared to someone. In my experience women are more likely to compare themselves harshly with an external standard then men are likely to do so.
I am a woman, just to be clear. I have no problem with porn. It has nothing to do with me, just like my appreciation of Brad Pitt’s abs has nothing to do with my SO.
Well, I’m a male, and I have never turned down sex in favor of porn. Nor do I need some "perfect’ ideal of a woman to turn me on. I don’t find that porn women ruin everyday girls for me at all. In fact, quite the opposite, that they make the “real” women I interact with that much sexier for their differences and small “flaws”. Though I’m well endowed, and perhaps it may be different for a smaller man, I’ve never felt inadequate watching porn either.
Female here.
I look at porn and it certainly doesn’t put me off being with actual people. On the other hand, I had a boyfriend who was a real porn officianado, pretty much his entire online experience was porn. I did feel inadaquate because none of the women he liked looking at looked anything like me. When I mentioned it he told me not to worry, because women that pretty wouldn’t be interested in him. Though quite true, it did not make me feel better.
Not at all. If anything, I tend to start fantasizing about past partners past a certain point in the porn watching process. It’s just a visual aid to me and nothing more.
Anyway, my wife owned more porn than I did when we got together (which wasn’t tough - I had nothing). She wanted to watch one of her DVDs with me one night, early in the relationshp, and she actually turned it off herself after about twenty minutes because she said she felt self-conscious about how it made her look. She got rid of them all a couple days later. I think she was afraid that I would be more attracted to the women on the film, something that wasn’t going to happen. I don’t imagine many guys who would turn down real sex for fantasy sex, but I wonder how many women think they do.
I have to ask - I have obviously led a sheltered life but all my sex has been with “Real People” (even if too often myself) but what not “Real” options are available?
You’ve not heard of the RealDoll? (Uncanny Valley alert!)
Yeah, I got that sense, too, reading her book. Although I also got the sense that any guy she was with would have to start profusely apologizing well in advance.
“So, you want to get some pizza?”
“You do know that six out of ten women have eating disorders because of patriarchy?”
“Oh, sorry…”
And one in four of us will be raped at some point in our life?"
“I’m SORRY!”
Personally, I only ever watch amateur porn. Those fake-breasted porn stars all oiled up with their gobs of makeup and skin that’s been turned a dull orange color from tanning…eww. Give me a real girl anyday.
I find porn excites me. Which in turn, makes me interested in sex. I find women excite me. Which in turn makes me interested in sex. I find food excites me. Which in turn makes me interested in sex. I find that sports…
Well, in other words, I don’t think porn has ever satiated me sufficiently that I did not find women desirable.
However, I find that I will get my fill of a specific type of porn and not find women of that ilk, or with that unique twist to be arousing, but that tends to be specificly confined to porn not real women. Perhaps if I were to run across a seven-foot tall woman who enjoyed dressing like Little Red Riding Hood and howling at the moon I would after a while find her less than desireable.
Nah, if she is female, a human and breaths oxygen, I will find her desirable. I am a guy that way.
I had a boyfriend who looked at a lot of porn. He did one day tell me that his favorite porn star had measurements similar to mine. Which I guess is as close to “I wuv you!” for some guys.
I’ve never felt inadequate by porn standards although physically I’m about as far away from that as you can get. I’m one of the few women I know that enjoys porn.
I believe that the same type of woman who would feel inadequate watching a porn actress are the same type of women who feel threatened by their partners watching porn. It makes absolutely no sense to me.
