From the article again:
Well, for one thing, I can put my penis in the real woman and it’s a lot more problematic doing so with the ‘cybervision’.
No, I’ve never felt that looking at porn ruined “Real women” for me. In fact, I’m usually more interested in amateur style ‘real women’ pictures than the airbrushed silicon stuff.
I am a female, and I detest porn. I consider it a turn off. It objectifies women; it isn’t natural (sex with ten men at a time is not natural) and it now saturates the internet. Porn used to be an adult indulgence. I have no problem with consenting adults watching porn or doing whatever turns them on in the bedroom. I resent that my adolescent son is being exposed to endless smut on the internet. It conveys an unrealistic expectation of most natural sexual experiences and girls. He is a bright and naturally curious kid. It is hard to control the porn your kid sees when it’s free, and every one of his friends has internet access.
The only advantage porn has over a real woman is that it never says “not tonight, I’m tired.” While I appreciate porn, I’d never pass up sex (or any other physical intimacy, really) with a real woman in favor of an image on a screen.
When I get my own holodeck, however, all bets are off.
You say natural like it’s a good thing!
Besides, I think inside the heart of every girl next door beats the desire to take part in a full on bukkake on top of a pool table.
For me, it’s two different kinds of sexual experiences. Masturbation to porn lets me be totally in control, lets me pick whatever kind of women I feel like looking at at the moment - in a way, it’s more fun than real sex because I’m so totally in control of my own pleasure and there’s no pressure at all.
Real sex with a real partner is different, because I want to focus on getting the woman off and making her feel good as well as making myself feel good. So it “takes more work,” I guess. But the orgasm I get from real sex is WAY more satisfying than the orgasm from masturbating, and the thrill of making someone else come and then coming yourself and then both lying there afterwards just in ecstasy, beats the hell out of any porn.
Perhaps the question should be this.
Does the sheer availablility of porn, in every conceivable flavor, make it more difficult to muster ambition to go have sex in real life?
OK, I’m going to quote the article too:
Here’s how this sounds to me:
“Young women think that porn stars are what men want.”
Leaving aside the fact that young women seem chronically incapable of just asking men what they want, I sympathize. When I was in college, I thought the same thing. However, I grew up, and befriended and dated men who weren’t frickin’ idiots, and realized that it’s just not the case.
The men I know view porn the same way I view erotica - it’s a turn-on, but it’s not reality. It’s not supposed to be! It’s just an unrealistic fantasy that gets a person’s motor running, and if a guy thinks that sex should always be like a porno, he’s got serious issues.
I agree with this 100%
Yeah, it was. 
But then again, I’m the kind of girl who gets intrigued by a guy describing her as looking sort of like “the actress who was in Goodfellas, and who played the woman Robert DeNiro raped and assaulted in Cape Fear…”
I think there is truth to Naomi Wolf’s assertion. If you look at it from a logical standpoint, people want to maximize pleasure, and it makes sense to choose methods to have more and better orgasms by ignoring societal taboos. If someone has a good imagination, porn is largely equivalent to a holodeck. But porn is frowned on by society, so folks hide it away as a dirty little secret and that’s why the replies to this thread are largely one-sided.
Also from a logical standpoint, porn can be superior to real people in many respects: no disease or pregancy risks, guaranteed pay-off every time, no dealing with post-sex issues, no unwanted relationships, and from a financial standpoint, porn wins over hookers, jail, alimony, and child support.
Can you explain this statement further? Posts on this thread have not denied the existence of porn. The posters who have replied are saying that they don’t feel they are in competition with it or that it has any effect on their own sexual relationships.
Maybe. But it’s hard to say. If men didn’t have porn, would they masturbate any less? If men watch porn often, does it make them more aware of what they don’t have and what they want? If a guy never watches porn, will he be more scared to make a move on a girl? On the other hand, men might masturbate a lot more cuz of porn and that might kill their libido. I see factors flying both ways, it’s really a toss-up and you can’t just rely on ‘logic’ (since there’s no such thing. all ‘logic’ is founded on a million observations and assumptions).
I’m wondering how one-sided are the replies and if there’s some bias (like men wouldn’t want to admit if if it were true), but the overwhelming consensus does mean a lot.
If you read the article by Naomi Wolf, Naomi Wolf on Why Porn Turns Men Off the Real Thing -- New York Magazine - Nymag, she begins by mentioning Andrea Dworkin, who prophesized that porn would make men sex-hungry beasts. Now, Naomi Wolf argues that it will usher in the very opposite, the killing of men’s libidos.
I think both arguments make sense, and it’s the fact they’re both true that the reality has fallen in the middle, as far as anyone can tell.
It’s just hard to believe that porn would “make” men into sex hungry beasts, as Dworkin posits. Wouldn’t it imply that they already like sex because they’re making images of it?
Okay, I know that Dworkin and Wolf would say that men are conditioned into liking and expecting beautiful images of women because of porn and the patriarchy and all that.
Though I do not know the age of your son, I can attest that as long as he gets involved in any sort of normal relationship; he will have NO illusions about the nature of sex. Even the most dimwitted can separate porn from reality after a few tumbles in the backseat.
I also disagree with your assertion that porn objectifies women. SEX objectifies the partners involved, period. When you desire someone they become a sexual object to pleasure and be pleasured by. You cannot degrade an object on a screen who has placed themselves online to be viewed by all and sundry as such.
I’ll bet there’s a lot of single guys who feel inadequate attracting women to come to their shitty paper-wall apartments because of House & Garden TV, but nobody’s getting book deals, tenure or paid lecture tours lambasting it.
Porn gets attention because it’s connected to sex. Anti-porn gets attention because it’s connected to sex. Anything beyond tending your own garden is exploitation.
The problem with Dworkin’s arguments is that they would confer a status of complete equality to all women. The simple fact exists that people have preferences on everything from hair color, to intelligence, to shape of toes for god’s sake.
For example: I dislike the following traits : Blonde hair of all shades, underweight, overweight (defined as too fat to engage in normal healthy outdoor activity), big or buck teeth, too childlike features ( big forehead little tiny chin), To mannish ( square jawed heavy browed), too pale ( I can see veins). I don’t find the majority of african women attractive sexually. I dislike women who speak in childlike voices, are not my equal intellectually, or who are prudish in nature. Women who have large nipples and tiny areolea weird me out. Same goes for tiny nipples on large breasts. I dislike fake breasts intensely.
That might seem like a lot to exclude, but even if you ruled ALL of the above out, I am still left with a vast variety of women of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and interests to choose from. Men simply want to get laid. Porn is just an outlet to find what you might be thinking about at any given time. It is more of an indulgence than anything else. For every guy who prefers blondes, there is one who wants brunettes. For every skinny lover, there is a chubby chaser.
I’m the opposite. Whenever I’m able to get real action, I lose interest in porn.
Because porn is taboo, people may have a hard time admitting they prefer it to real people.
I think it’s ridiculous that people act like the women in pornos aren’t “real”. They are. They made the choices/sacrifices to look the way they do. They ARE real people. No less so than the “average” looking girl or the “fat chick”. They are all real. So they have fake boobs and fake tans. So what? So do lots of women who aren’t porn stars. And I’ve been with several women, including my wife, who DO sound like the women in pornos in the heat of passion. Not quite as much “you’re dick is so huge” but all the moaning and yelling etc… is a real life occurance.
As far as preferring porn over real sex I don’t, but there are times when I’m tired or I want to get off real quick for whatever reason and it’s faster/easier with a porno and a fist than another person who also needs to be satisfied. At those times I will choose to go for the porn even though I know I can have sex. Not often but it does happen.