This is what Pepper Mill playfully asked this morning.
“Not Big Enough”, was my reponse.
(This clearly indicates that we have been married for a long time. Or that I don’t mind sleeping on the couch as the price for a good retort.)
After we finished throwing things, I explained that I like looking at her butt, as well she knows (I have a built-in lie detector), and that I liked things that emphasized it.
“But I don’t like things that maske my butt look fat.” she said.
“I don’t want it to look fat. Just Big.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Men! You don’t understand!”
I clearly don’t.
But if you had to emphasize a butt, how would you do it? Horizontal stripes? Fluorescent clothes? Fluorescent horizontal stripes? Wear a corset and tight stockings?
This has got to be a universal. My GF’s magnificent ass is a controversial point between us. She’s constantly plotting against it, and I’m obliged to make supportive noises, or at least pretend to be neutral.
As for the emphasis question, apart from nicely-fitting pants, I recommend those little half-jackets that have come into vogue lately. I picked up a couple of those (business & casual) and they definitely emphasize a beautiul bum by making the torso look smaller. Don’t tell her, please.
Shakira pants emphasize it just fine. Which is why I don’t wear them, just regular tight jeans originate trouble among the males of the species and I don’t want to cause heart attacks.
I decided many moons ago that, while my ass is unacceptable by “official beauty standards”, most men probably have the same taste evidenced by Spanish truck drivers and construction workers (lines like “honey if it wasn’t 'cos I love my wife I’d ask your ass to marry me!” sound better in Spanish and with the right inflection). Since I’m more interested in men than in Cosmo editors, I therefore do have a nice ass!
Hell, just watch the video for “Whenever, wherever”. My brother turns into a melting puddle on the living room hardwood floors when that one comes in. Don’t even try to get between him and the TV at that time unless you want to be murdered.
Another one, but it’s not for daily wear: mermaid dresses. They’re dresses that are painted-on from the neck to the knees and flare below the knees. I recently saw some pictures from some middle-eastern royal party where one of the guests (saudi?) was wearing a creamy mermaid dress with silver embroidery that, while leaving only her face visible, made stripper outfits look adequate for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. If that’s modest I’m the bishop of Rome!
Go naked, clearly. But if going out in public is your thing;
I have finally come to accept that my butt is fine. So if I can be bothered, it’s an underbust corset with jeans and bolero jacket. Otherwise it’s just well fitting hipster jeans.
Butt-less chaps work wonders too Or so I hear…
Naked, clearly.
Why yes I do enjoy private nudity, why do you ask?
See, now there’s a difference between a nice round juicy booty, and a big butt, which is what I think the OP missed.
Had the Mrs. asked does my but look big, and you replied no way! It lokes nice and round and juicy, she probably would have been less inclined to thow things at you.
Every woman wants a nice, round juicy ass. Very few want a big butt.
Finally, FWIW, any man that said this to me:
would get a punch in the face. Granted, I don’t think I’ve ever said “Does this make me look fat/ass look big/ boobs look bouncy/whatever.” in my life, so perhaps woman who do say such things like to be “managed.” Dunno.
Yep… that’s the ticket - say it’s round and sexy not “big” or “fat”… unless you mean big and fat - then ya might grab a sleeping bag and snuggle up next to the dog.
To enhance a nice ass, try…
-pants with no back pockets or just the slit type pockets,
-vertical stripes,
-pencil skirts,
-The V-string thongs. V-thongs seem to accentuate the roundness rather than just a straight line down the crack. ( v ) vs. ( | )
That reminds me of Jim trying on his Superman costume a couple of Halloweens ago. My my, a suit like that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination! :eek:
I believe he wore the costume with an athletic supporter on underneath it, so as to not frighten the children.
