My answer to people parking like this - if there’s legitimately no other place to park - is to assess whether there’s enough space even with an inch of room for my car. If there is, I’ll still park there and do either head-in or back-in so I can still get out, but they can’t use their driver’s door. Heck, I’ve done it so I still had to go out the passenger side. Just to prove a point.
Could you try a Rosemary Woods-type defense? That is, your dog had his hind feet on the truck’s running board when the burrito he’d eaten earlier forcefully exited his body and scored a direct hit?
I certainly wouldn’t recommend admitting to it on the Internet.
But if you want to know just how much danger you could be in, here is a technique that I have used several times and it has always worked very well for me.
Call the police (the non-emergency number) from a pay phone or other phone that cannot be traced back to you.
Pretend you are the victim of this incident. But change the facts to a different location and different kind of car. To be best prepared, you might want to write down the license number and description of some car that you see parked a few miles away from the spot of the real incident.
Complain to the police that someone did this to your car and tell them you have an inkling of who it may be and then ask them just what they can do to help you.
The answer you get will give you a good idea of just how much potential trouble you could be in.
If they say that without solid proof, there is nothing they can do to help you, you can feel relieved and say that someone needs you right away and hang up and be happy.
If they say that they will be right over and they can prosecute this person, you might want to ask them some other questions to help you avoid getting arrested.
Like you might ask them what they need from you to help them arrest this person. Then make sure you can avoid letting them get their hands on any such thing.
In the past, I have found this kind of role reversal to be most helpful when trying to avoid getting arrested.
Well, in an Alexander Payne movie, anyway, which would end up with the o.p. character running through an alligator pen wearing only flip-flops and being pursued by a roadhouse bouncer while carrying a bowling trophy in the mistaken belief that it had previously been stolen from his dead uncle’s house. Actually, now I want to see this movie. Are Paul Giamatti and Bob Odenkirk available?
Eh, it’s about on par with the advice you’ll get here on any random topic from one of any number of the village idiots. Check out some of the advice in the “How do I tell if he/she likes me?” themed threads if you really want to see some spectacularly obtuse guidance.
Why didn’t you just complain to the landlord with the license plate number? Or perhaps call the police if it is illegally parked?
I lived in an apartment complex where some idiot in a sports car use to park it sideways taking up the remaining spaces. I complained to the landlord and they put a stop to it.