Boy I do hate it when telemarketers call at all but especially when they call me by my given name. Then they proceed to mangle my last name as well. The name is German although we give it an English pronunciation (Eulert is YOO-lert, not OY-lert) But nobody seems to get it right, in either language. So I put on my best frosty voice to correct them, and while they stutter in dismay I hang up.
I definitely prefer that cashiers, telemarketers (well, I prefer they don’t address me at all), et al address me as “Mr. Strainger.” Another thing that bugs me is that even though my first name on both my credit card and checks is given as “Jeffrey,” they often address me as “Jeff,” which what I go by IRL, but awfully damn presumptuous on their part.
I got into it once with a woman calling from a credit card company (late payment) to speak with my husband. Not only did she mispronounce our last name (it is not difficult for anyone with the slightest grasp of phonetics!) but she called my husband by a shortened version of his name.
When I told her that no such person lives at that number, she just kept repeating herself with both names wrong–like I was the one who was mistaken. Finally, in desperation, she asked for him by his full first name (still mispornouncing the last name) and I said, “It is pronounced _______, and he isn’t here right now.” and hung up on her.
I really hate when people don’t take the time to actually use the correct name and/or pronounce it properly.
Other companies sell or rent lists. You know those contests in stores, especially grocery stores? They get a LOT of good addresses/phone numbers from those entries. In some cases, you’re also asking to change your long distance company, so read the entry rules VERY carefully.
My summer job (well, one of them) is at a clothing store. We’re security freaks, so I always check the credit cards. Some of the other people who work at the store call customers by their first names, some by their last.
One of the women told me that it was a good idea to call them by their first name, so as to establish rapport. My reply was something along the lines of “I’m 18, and I don’t think that the middle aged women who are our primary customer base would appreciate me calling them by their first name.”
It’s just a respect thing… I like certain formalities. I’m not going to call someone older than me by their first name until I’m asked.
My last name is pronounced ‘four-e’. Anytime someone pronounces it wrong, we just say whoever it is isn’t home…yeah.
My last name is “Anne.” For some reason, people
have a hard time with “Ms. Anne.”
I always call a person Mr/Ms until they call me
by my first name. Then it’s first names all the
way.
Also, have you notice how some people use “Miss”
and some “Ma’am” when they don’t know your name.
With me, it’s about 50/50. Since I’m 45, that
feels pretty good.
I don’t usually get called by my first name, so that’s not a pet peeve. I have to admit that I don’t like being called Mrs., since I’m divorced. I go by Ms. Also, they never pronounce my last name correctly. It’s french.
So I always get “Mrs. (mispronounced)”.
I like it.
I don’t like being on different levels with people, and don’t like all the formality. I think that communication can become clearer when that formality barrier doesn’t exist.
When I used to work technical support, I’d usually call the customers by their first name after we’ve built some rapport, which usually took about 30 minutes.
If they didn’t like that, I never knew, because no one ever told me.
I don’t mind the first name thing so much, but why on earth can’t people get it through their heads that the proper title for a woman in the professional world is Ms.? I’m not married, and even if I were, it wouldn’t be any of their business. I’ve been known to correct telemarketers on this point, but I can’t quite bring myself to lecture my students this early in the semester … although I plan to slip the relevant information into a lesson on writing business letters in a few weeks.
Fretful Porpentine
When your not sure, the gender defaults to masculine, and thus should be sir.
Just jerking your chain, don’t get pissed.
This makes me CRAZY. People constantly assume that it’s ok to call me Val, and it just ISN’T. Even most of my family doesn’t call me Val - they call me Junior, since my mom is a Val. My best friend and one of my sisters sometimes call me “Vally,” and I let that slide. Otherwise, everyone else that shortens my name gets corrected.
I had an old boss who’d yell “Val,” and I’d say “-erie? You do know my name is Valerie, right?” I did that so many times he ended up calling me Lerie (sounds a lot like Larry). He thought he was very clever. But some people just feel that they HAVE to shorten your name. Grrr.
I work for an internet related company as technical support. I actually got in trouble for calling people Ma’am and Sir. They do reports on the calls they listen to when people call in, and I got 5% taken off because I called the customer sir. I was told that it is a californian company and they want to be relaxed. TO call them by their first name. I argued it all the was to 4 supervisors above me. I finally got that part taken off the report because I am not calling a 55 year old man, “Steve.” As for the MR, Mrs, Miss, Dr. thing, I just call women miss and men mr. If I know they are a doctor through conversation I’ll interject that. Otherwise it si sir or ma’am to you.
soryy if that was hard to understand.
I talk a lot on the phone with clients and customers at work, and althogh I realize I am not much younger than many of the people I speak with, they believe me to be about 10 years old. I don’t really think my voice sounds that young, and I am SURE a kid couldn’t do my job. Why do they always call me hon? My mom gets it on the phone all the time too, and she is 47!
This is hilarious, because anybody that works with either of us, who knows either of us, wouldn’t dream of calling us “hon.”
Not even boyfriends.
Not my grandfather.
Not anyone.
This may sound stupid, but I wear a nametag at KrapMart and it feels very creepy when people say, “Hi, Kathi,” instead of just, “hi.” They’ll say, “Thank you, Kathi. Bye, Kathi.”
It just feels very uncomfortable having total strangers call me by name…I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t say that. (I only get hon from older people, my grandparents’ ages…it doesn’t really bother me, since I look young for my age-I’m 22.)
When I get a little older, then I’ll probably want to be addressed as Ms. Sutter. When I did some student teaching at an elementary school, however, it felt VERY bizarre…
If a physician calls me “Kate”, then I use his/her first name. I don’t really like being called “Ms” much but don’t mind “Kate” either. I hate being called Miss Kate by children, or Mrs. My-Husband’s-Surname by anyone. I think insisting on formality because somone is younger than me is just crap. If I call a child by their first name, then why shouldnt’ they? It isnt’ disrespectful at all. I certainly mean no disrespect when I address someone by their first name.
My dh is “Dr.” but rarely (never?) uses it for anyone else nor does he expect anyone to call him that.
As far as telemarketers, I use their name, and inform them that I need to be removed from their list. Sometimes I’m very enthusiastic about it.
My given name is Willie but I go by Will, and I hate being called Willie. I was being turned down for a loan by my bank by someone younger than me, and he kept calling me Willie. It really pissed me off. OTOH, it’s useful because none of my friends call me Willie, so if someone calls and uses that name (telemarketers or bill collectors), it’s easy to duck the call if need be.
Wow, I must not be from the same place as you guys. I never called anyone by an honorific until I was in third grade - at my first school, we called our teachers by their first names. I’ve always called my friends’ parents by their first names, and my friends called my parents by their first names. We called our professors by their first names at my university. I’m not used to using titles, and feel uncomfortable when people use them with me - it tells me immediately that they don’t know me, and usually, that they are trying to sell me something.
I think a lot of times, the required level of formality thing can be regional. I’m from the south, and we call everyone Sir, or Ma’am. Older people are usually called by Mr. Lastname and Ms. Lastname or if you know them well, Mr. Firstname or Ms. Firstname. I have heard people say that in other regions, it’s considered rude to call people Sir or Ma’am. I don’t know. But I personally am only made a little bit uncomfortable by clerks calling me by my firstname. I don’t especially like it, but it doesn’t bug me too much. I used to get weirded out by being called Mrs. Lastname, but I think that was more a matter of not being used to HAVING that Lastname. Now, after 6 years, it’s just a thang…
Slightly off topic…my best friend’s mom is about my grandmother’s age (she was a change-of-life baby). Whenever she calls me for anything, she says, “Hi, Rhonda, this is Lucile. I’m calling about…” That freaks me out! I’d never call her Lucile, no matter how many times she does that. I adore the woman, and frequently call her Mom, since she treats me like I’m one of hers, but if she isn’t Mom, she’s Mrs. Lastname.
I find it weird when my little cousins talk to their parents as Janice and Algis instead of Mom and Dad… and when people say Have a nice day Mrs. (insert name here) I find it weird too cuz most people call me by my middle name. (Then again I’m also just 17 so yah I would find it weird.)
When I was in Georgia one summer, no one ever called me anything but “honey.” Everyone I met, store clerks, waitresses, hell, even a cop called me “honey.” I thought it was just a southern custom.
I’m glad to see most of you guys are with me on this. I was starting to think I was the only one who was irritated when people used my first name.