wireless said:
No, you’ve got it all wrong. It’s merely a non-very-sophisticated program to catch credit card fraud. It goes like this:
Clerk: “Thank you for your purchase, Miss Smith.”
Defrauder: “Miss Smith?!? My name’s not…d’oh!”
:led away in handcuffs:
Well, sign me up for biddy-dom as well! I loathe being called by my first name by people I don’t know – it presumes a familiarity that isn’t there and it’s phony. (Of course, I use my first name here because we all know each other so well. 
)
At Safeway – a regional grocery chain – they instituted a policy of making the checkers say, “Thank you, [your first name here]” to every one as they left the store. I hated this, but not as much as my friend Rob, who constantly got “Thanks, Robert!” (which he doesn’t use) or “Thanks, Rob!” (which he doesn’t use). Nice way to highlight that you don’t really know jack-shit about a person, huh? So he wrote a comment card that said “please quit calling me by my first name.” He got back a letter from some PR woman that said: (a) our studies show our customers like this policy, and (b) if you don’t like it, we suggest you pay with cash, so the checker won’t know your name. (!) He was so pissed he wrote back and said it seemed that an easier option than running for cash every time he needed to shop would be to just take his business to Albertson’s. Which he did.
But here’s the thing: They finally did away with the policy, but not because of customer complaints, though they got a ton. They got more complaints from the checkers specifically women, because male customers were mistaking their “friendliness” for interest and were hanging around, harassing them, or presuming a more intimate relationship than really existed. So they cut it out. Now they say “Thank you, Ms. Lastname,” which I think it a much better policy all the way around.
Uh, my friend Rob would get “thanks, Robert” or “thanks, Bob”, neither of which he uses.
@%&@@%^%&^*(*((*&%*#@!@!!!
AT Krapmart, they tried to tell us to call customers Mr/Mrs. Lastname.
I REFUSE to do that.
Those telemarketers are getting craftier and craftier!
We have been getting a lot of calls where the caller says “Hey, is Jeff there?” Of course I assume it’s just one of my husband’s many coworkers or friends, so I don’t bother to ask who’s calling, and I go and get him. And it turns out to be a telemarketer! :mad:
I called Hewlett Packard today for (pretty bad) support and the first thing they asked: “What’s your first name?” I answered "My full name is so-and-so"but the guy didn’t get it. I don’t understand why companies cannot just tell their people to ask their customers how they would like to be addressed.
I have a very elderly neighbor and I often do errands or other things for her. When she calls on the phone she never identifies herself which in my book is the first thing you do. But I recognize her voice anyway.
When I call her I identify myself by my first name and she always calls me Mr by my last name and that is correct. I do not call myself Mr but that is what others should call me. She gets that part right.
Doesn’t sound stupid at all. i have to wear a nametag, which I’m fine with 'cause people have to know who to ask for help, and there are plenty of practical reasons for people to know WHO has been helping them (and fortunatly it’s not one of those “Hi,My Name is…” ones. Or worse “Hi! My Name is.”)
But…I’m not a friend of their’s. They didn’t tell me their name. And in employee-mode, I don’t have the option of saying “Don’t fucking call me that.”
I’ve taught my son to say yes m’am/sir, no m’am sir as well as to address adults as Mr/Ms. (As an aside now that he is five I also expect him to give up his bus seat to smaller children/senior citizens/pregnant women. Another disappearing courtesy that probably deserves a thread of it’s own). Anyhoo, when I introduce him to a new adult, I say this is Mr/Ms Last Name. What really bugs me is when they say “Oh, that makes me feel so old, call me First Name”. Now, I don’t mind them preferring to be called by their first name, I’d just rather that they not imply to my son that being old is an undesirable state. What’s wrong with just saying “Please, call me First Name?”
Re: Guinastasia’s post about nametags. AMEN. I just to be a waitress and we were required to say “Hi My Name Is”. Every once in a while you’d get these people who had read in some book that the way to win friends and influence people is to call them by name. Constantly. It just creeps me out to hear my name in every freaking sentence that is addressed to me. “Tracy, I’d like some salad dressing. And if it’s not too much trouble, Tracy, please bring some lemons, too. Thanks, Tracy. And by the way, Tracy, we’re out of bread. We’d like some butter, too, Tracy.” Arghhhh!!!
I absolutely hate it when someone I don’t know calls me by my first name. In a couple of stores here in town, I went to the service desk and filed a complaint. I said that while I knew they were probably doing it to sound more friendly, it made me uncomfortable and I would probably try to find an alternate place to shop where they did not use this ploy.
There must have been other people in the area who complained at other stores, too, because I almost never hear it anymore.
Me too. Actually, it’s about 50/50 that I’ll realize that you’re talking to me if you call me by my first name (Kerri.) Everyone I know calls me by my nickname, and it’s how I think of myself, too. It’s sort of mentally uncomfortable when someone calls me anything else. Ma’am is alright, but Mrs., Miss or Ms. is just SO not me.
I think it is rude as hell to call a customer by any name.
Back when I had money, I was late on a loan payment and got a rude letter from the bank. I wrote back to the guy, by name, explained how much money I had in other accounts, which I would move if they carried out their threat and said something nice, how I apppreciated the fact that their employees called me “Mr. Plant.”
He wrote back and apologized, but addressed the letter, “Dear Carnivorous”.
Touche’ I had to laugh. I hope he is doing well.
When I worked a public service desk at a library, I called everyone Sir or M’am.
Oh- and I’ve been both a cashier and a telemarketer (and I don’t miss those jobs!)
I found it most respectful and least intrusive at both of those jobs not to address the customer at all. When I had to do calls I would ask for the person by their full name, and then I wouldn’t use it in any form again. Instead I was polite, attentive and as aprochable as possible without intruding more than I had to in the process of doing my job.
As an aside, tatertot, IMHO, 5 years old is too young to give up his seat. He doesnt’ have the muscular control or foresight to guess how the bus or train is going to lurch around. He is also too short to be seen by a lot of people- I know my 5 yo is occasionally in danger of being walked into- and he is probably too short to hold onto any of the alternate handholds properly. It may be polite, but it probably isnt’ safe. Of course, depends on who else might be missing a seat, but there are many people who are more capable of standing than a very young child.
My 5 yo is a young gymnast and I can see a huge difference in abdominal muscle growth between 5 and 8 yo. She works really hard, is very strong for her age, and very lean, but she just doesn’t have her “center” developed well enough to use it reliably. You need that for catching your balance, doing flips, skiing… She’ll be able to ski this year, but I won’t be expecting her to do bumps on heavy skis.
anyway- the age thing. I don’t think the people say “oh that makes me feel old” may necessarily be giving your son the idea that age is a bad thing, but maybe are indicating that even though they look old, they don’t feel old. just a thought.
Of course, he only gives up his seat if somebody who really needs it more than he does can’t find one. And it goes without saying that I’m the first one who has to give it up. Luckily, seeing a five year old willing to give up his seat for a 87 year old lady works wonders at shaming young men into giving up theirs. Or they share. Point is, he’s at the age where he needs to learn that he should be looking out for the needs of those who are weaker than he is. (Oh, and we have rails at about hip level for holding on to on the buses here. Fact is our buses get very crowded and like it or not lots of kids and elderly have to stand.)
And while I see your point, I still think it’s uncalled for to say “That makes me feel old” when somebody is trying to be respectful. For one, when did being “ma’am” or “Mrs” mean old? Just say “Call me Whatever” and be done with it.
Yup, I’m an old biddy all right. My kid is going to think I’m such a geek. 
Your parents didn’t give you a first name so you could hide behind your last name all your life. And this whole thing about kids calling you by your first name, what kind of bullshit is that? If children were treated as equals, or at least semi equal, there wouldn’t be so much mistrust and contempt between the ages.
Me thinks you should all come off your high horses and let me call you Fred, Bob, Sally, Tim, Horatio…whatever.
vote green, Jabe (but call me Mr. Ledoux please)
My first name is Laura, and, welcome to the boards!
In this situation here, I don’t mind first names. But in a place like a grocery store, where I don’t have the same intimacy level as in a voluntarily started conversation, I would just as soon have polite service. I would never presume to look at the cashier’s nametag and call her/him by first name because I consider that intrusive.
But that’s okay for me, and it’s okay for it not to bother you.
See ya around the boards!
It’s okay for me to feel that way, and okay for the first name stuff not to bother you.
First, can I sign up to be an old fogey or a biddy too? This discussion is at once cheering and depressing. It is good to know that many other people detest this first name in inappropriate situations stuff, but I have to admit that, here in Britain, we are getting off relatively lightly so far. The plague has infected staff in council and government offices, but not (yet) supermarkets and so on. Unfortunately, I suspect it will spread. We definitely need to have some kind of fogey fightback plan.
Maybe we could market your fogey fightback plan with some kind of slogan, or a pin, something along the lines of:
It's Ms.[or insert title] to you, bub.
And don't even think about asking me to smile.
Only funnier, but not funny enough to spark interest in some unsolicited comments.
Any ideas? Has it already been done?
Sorry about the misspelling, may I still be in the club?