I know, friend, that you are suffering from some emotional problems. I was the one who encouraged you to start therapy when your constant crying jags and screaming at me that you weren’t screaming at me got to be too much to bear. I know you have two young daughters, that you work too many hours at a job you’re afraid to lose while your husband plays video games and refuses to look for work because he let his teaching certification lapse and can’t think of what else to do. I know you have deep dysphoric periods and manic phases, all wrapped up with anxiety issues that make it hard for you to stand up for yourself. (And for fuck’s sake, quit deciding on your own to work hours off the clock, and quit complaining about how much you work.)
And during one of those manic phases, you bought a god damned Australian cattle dog. You texted me that you wanted a dog, and I asked idly what kind, and when you said an Aussie, I said, I dunno, maybe start with an older dog that will already come trained. Aussies are challenging. You didn’t tell me then that you’d already adopted the dog and taken him home. God damn.
I know he chews things up. No, you can’t imagine how he got your shoes, you watch him all the time, but there it is. It happens regularly. Yesterday you found candy wrappers in his crate, and you can’t imagine how they got there. He must be such a bad dog!
Your daughters used to like him, but now are afraid of him, because he nips at them, chews up their things, and jumps on them. He’s a puppy. That’s normal puppy behavior and puppies need guidance, but you won’t give him any guidance, you just get frustrated. He’s never hurt the girls. They just don’t understand how dogs behave. They were happy when he was being careful and on his best behavior for the first few days.
There were vet expenses, which are putting a strain on your finances; this is according to your husband, who is an able-bodied adult and hasn’t been gainfully employed in seven years or even volunteered for his daughter’s classroom in three years. (He quit that because it reminded him too much of when he was paid to be a teacher.)
It seems, like Ned Flanders’ parents, you’ve tried nothing, and you’re all out of ideas.
Adopting this dog was a mistake. Absolutely, taking this dog out of his foster home was the wrong decision for you. But if you give this dog back, tomorrow, you’re still going to be depressed and anxious. Giving the dog back won’t make your husband get off his ass and go to work. All it will accomplish is taking away your scapegoat for a little while.
Yeah, if you’re unwilling to train a dog, you shouldn’t have one, but this dog is a living being and he thinks this is his home. How about instead of scapegoating the dog, you involve the family in training him to behave? You might need a bit of outside assistance, but once you get some guidance you can start training him effectively. The correct solution to a misbehaving dog - and this IS normal dog misbehavior, not some crazy-ass angry dog with serious behavioral problems - isn’t to send him to the shelter where he’ll be euthanized.
Your family wanted the dog too. Someone, for pete’s sake, be the adult here.