I’m implying that from a person who laments that he can’t watch his favorite blackface gags with his kids, comparing black people to shit because of their skin color shouldn’t come much as a surprise.
“Tethering the blimp”
No, wait. That was from Letterman’s Top 10 Phrases that Sound Dirty but Aren’t.
Dropping Rudy Huxtable off at the pool is a very old and very popular euphemism and I’ve never heard anyone of any race complain about it. Please complain about it somewhere else pizzabrat.
In the defecation category:
Torquing a butt-cable
Getting something down on paper
Wax the Dolphin.
Punchin’ the Munchkin.
Jerkin’ the Gherkin.
Spank the Monkey.
Testing the [salinity cell / bilge alarm / gravity drains].
Saying hello to Polly and her friend Jay.
And I’m going to stop after that last one.
Prairie Dogging: Poking one’s head above one’s office cubicle walls to see what’s going on across the room.
In the bathroom;
Squeezing off a few rounds
Watering the porcelain
Drain the lizard
Shake hands with an old friend and then beat the piss out of him
Vomiting;
Talking to Ralph
Selling Buicks
Feeding the fish
The Penis;
One-eyed wonder worm
the little General
Heat-seeking moisture missile
Sex;
Hot Beef Injection
Well, now you have. And what a surprise you’re the one to defend it.
One-eyed, blue-veined trouser trout, smothered in shorts.
Mr. Happy
You may now say you officially have. It’s tacky.
Please direct the rest of your non euphemism related comments here. Thanks.
Worshipping at the porcelain altar
taking another look at lunch
toss one’s cookies
blow chunks
hurl
Tube-snake boogie (I love ZZ Top)
Hide the salami
Pearl necklace (did I mention I love ZZ Top?)
Doin the Wild Thang (and it must be pronounced “thang”)
the horizontal hoochie-cootch
Bearded clam
the Dear Thatched Cottage (Winston Churchill’s nickname for his wife’s bearded clam)
the Gates of Paradise
Holy of Holies
Nether regions of my personal universe (my own invention)
Twigs and berries
the family jewels (can’t believe nobody mentioned this one)
In a family way
embarazada (why do Spanish-speaking folks call it that?)
bun in the oven
expecting
all the good drug ones have been taken
If anyone can just tell me what category these belong in I might understand. Yes, I’m dense sometimes.
The first one means puking. The second one has me stumped so far.
From 2001’s Rat Race:
Kimberley: “Dad I don’t have to pee it’s number two!”
Randall: “Sorry I can’t stop.”
Kimberley: “Dad I’m Prairie Dogging it!”
Randall: “What the Hell does that mean?”
Jason: “You know, like when a Prairie Dog sticks his head in and out of the ground.”
Randall: “Oohhhhhhhhhhhhh. I do NOT want to picture that!”
Classic!
shaking hands with the unemployed
Well, it’s not a euphemism or an old saying, it’s just what the word means.
I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned Roger’s Profanisaurus yet.
Wind-surfing on Mt. Baldey
Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln
Jumping the turnstile
In the bowel movement category, my favorite is:
Giving birth to a sheriff.
(I got that from a sheriff’s deputy.)
Noel Coward (from one of his lesser known works in Monty Python’s meaning of Life)
Years ago an uncle was talking about Nebraska and mentioned the Hershey Highway, not as a euphemism. His kids were rolling their eyes and barely containing giggles. I nearly caused pandemoneum when I casually mentioned, “that’s a dirt road isn’t it?”
Since I first heard the it, I’ve always liked the phrase “Wedding Tackle”.