Yes, the bolded part is in fact seriously all kinds of wrong. Jesus christ the girl got laid, she’s not ruined for life, she fucked someone she might at some point in the future wish she hadn’t fucked. IT HAPPENS, IT ISN’T A BIG DEAL.
It was spelled out that she had sex actually. (with his name)
I think it is wrong for any boy or girl age 16 to be with anyone in mid twenties, regardless of law-but I agree with the law.
I don’t know what brought me here, a search…I felt some of the post were straight up, which is what I prefer…unlike some sites, drama or BS.
Well, if the kid’s been screwing someone ten years older than her for a year or so (you say he was last around “last year” so I assume it’s been close to that, given this year is half gone already) and you had no friggin’ idea…that’s not really painting you as Parent of the Year, ya know? I mean, the choices are that the clues were all right there and you were oblivious to them, or that your daughter knowingly and deliberately deceived you. The first option paints a rather poor picture of this “bond and love” that’s going to make your daughter grow from this, and the second implies that your precious, innocent baby ain’t all that precious and innocent.
:eek: You advocated physical violence against another poster because you disagree with him but other people are being mean? Seriously? And don’t try weaseling it back by saying you were simply pointing out you disagree and wish he wasn’t around. “You’re wrong and I wish you wouldn’t post in this thread anymore” expresses your disagreement and wish that he wasn’t around. “I wish people like you got shot more often” is…well, it’s a really fucking nasty thing to say. “If you can’t say anything nice” indeed.
Yeah, that was pretty intense. It’s one thing to get in a heated disagreement with someone and maybe take it to the Pit. But wishing he/she was shot? That’s really over-the-top.
By the way, I see what you mean, Frazzled, and agree with you.
Oh, to be a fly on their wall when the convo between mom and daughter finally goes down.
And how did you get those mementos, exactly? Does she have them pasted on her dream board for the whole family to see or was there some privacy breaking/snooping through her private stuff involved while she was out of town?
All I’ll say in this one is to be very careful how you manage the situation with your daughter, how you communicate with her and what stance you want to take regarding this.
My neighbours 15 year old son had a sexual affair with one of his school teachers several years ago. Mum found out, called the Police. The teacher was charged and spent some time in Gaol but the boy was furious at his mother and, to the best of my knowledge, hasn’t spoken to her since. he moved out of home straight away and never went back.
So, she did the right thing, and lost her son because of it. Be careful how you play this hand.
It was snooping, straightgirl explicitly said the police told her to enter her daughter’s room while she was away to look for more evidence.
Ah, I missed that part. Thank you, Jragon.
Hey, let’s start a thread about having one’s mind made up and telling everyone else how wrong they are because they think. I think there’s a name for this.
You’re the parent and the grown-up. You are the one best situated to decide what the best thing is to do.
And it is entirely possible that your daughter will find this person less attractive when he is in jail and she only gets to see him on visiting day. That will not make her any smarter, unfortunately, but if she is as self-centered as most 16 year olds, she will lose interest once it is troublesome to maintain the relationship.
FWIW, for some reason any thread suggesting that any teen-ager should not be having sex for any reason will get a certain number of attacks on the OP as an uptight prude. Take it or leave it, you can’t always avoid it.
Regards,
Shodan
Moving this thread to IMHO from MPISMS, since it’s opinion-seeking and people certainly are giving their opinions.
Well as long as we’re giving opinions…
If I were in this situation the only legal aspect of it would be how long I would be in jail for beating the 25 year old shithead within an inch of his life. It’s hard to pick up teenage girls if you’re in a coma.
If 15 year old daughter has an itch she should find a 15-17 year old boy to scratch it. He might get a beating too but the damages would be just a few bruises and some pride.
But that poor, horny, misunderstood grown-ass man was victimized by a slutty vixen of a 15-year-old tart! Sir, you are surely overreacting! A pox on you for suggesting violence in response to what is surely not the antics of a sexual predator. I see nothing creepy at ALL about a 25-year-old man seeking a sexual relationship with a girl mere moments out of puberty. And if you apologize for your angry retort, I shall just slap you down again. Priorities, bubba! Bad form on the Internet vs a day laborer having his way with your 15-year-old child!
I don’t believe the OP answered this question. I am interested in her response.
Your evidence is a note? :smack: Isn’t that wasting Police time?
You went through your daughter’s personal stuff while she’s away, you want to kill her boyfriend, you reported your daughter’s boyfriend to the police, and you wished a member here be shot because they gave advice that you asked for.
Sorry, I’m confused, just who is the bad person here??!
You might want to reign back the aggression somewhat, or it could be you facing charges. Sometime in the future your daughter is going to need help, but won’t ask as she would have lost all trust in you.
My initial thought would be to do as Marsellus Wallace did and “get medieval on [ the man’s ] ass.” When I calmed down the missus and I would sit down and talk things through. Perhaps get your two boys or some her other friends to talk with her.
Best of luck with this.
Update:
To the future people looking for advice…MOST of the people here don’t know what the heck they were talking about in my situation.
Daughter came home-and although a few rough patches of hurt or anger, things are going pretty good. We started therapy immediately when she arrived home. We sent a message to “the guy” and said we would not follow through with charges if he kept away from her-no calls, text, etc…in order to heal this broken part of our family.
I do not care about him or his life frankly…but only interested in seeing my daughter happy and strong. None of these people know my daughter, her personality, spirit or love of her family.
I made a mistake reaching out to the world-public here, for answers during my turmoil…of deciding what to do.
Honest: My loving husband next to me, my Jesus answering my prayers and keeping me strong through it all, friends (true ones) who lift me up during hard times and just knowing the changes my daughter has went through have carried me through this hard time.
In no way is it as crazy as some people have predicted. People online-- don’t know the love, care and concern your family-actually shares. I am just glad I stayed true, honest in what and how I found out-who did what. I didn’t make up stories-I honestly care about my daughter and was only protecting her.
Sooo, some teens get out of control… I have made many mistakes of being a parent as far as trusting, placing/sticking to rules, etc. My heart is in the right place, I am totally willing to do “WHATEVER IT TAKES”…to heal the broken pieces we had as a family. My husband and I both.
I just want to tell those who may read post in the future, looking for answers…that:
No one here knows your family or relationships in life-by the few sentences or paragraphs you write. YOU know your family better than anyone. You know the dynamics and love. Thank God I turned to him. I am surely not perfect and needed his love and blessings-to help me as a parent… HE is the answer.
Sorry sugar, but we never advertised to be an advice column or relationship counselors. Best of luck to you and yours, and may the Goddess help your daughter find her path in this life.
You seem to put a lot of trust in that book we call The Bible… I wonder if there are any examples in it discussing younger-woman/older-man relationships. Perhaps a careful reading of it might indicate what your Deity considers appropriate. It seems to me that it advocates bashing her to death with big heavy rocks at this point, but I’ll admit I haven’t read it recently, and that is by no means my advice. I would suggest that you take the other option it advocates, and [del]allow[/del] *require *him to marry her, thus making their lustful activities non-sinful, in the eyes of your Deity.
Seriously, now, this may be bad by today’s standards but… come on, it could be much, much worse. How badly do you want ‘revenge’ against this guy? Weigh that against how badly you want to maintain any kind of relationship whatsoever with your daughter, and use that to decide how you want to deal with the situation.
I don’t know how this would all play out in the Courtroom, should it get that far, but… I don’t see that ending up happily for anyone, especially your daughter.
Good luck to all of you.