Don't shout from afar. Come talk to my face, dammit!

Something of an extremely petty nature has been upsetting me lately… people calling me from afar!

If you want to talk to me, come and talk to me face to face, dammit! Especially if you’re too deaf to hear my shouted replies, in which case I usually end up having to make the effort to come down to you even though it was you who wanted me!

Here is a typical situation…

Evil Caller from afar: RACER?!?
Me: YEP?

slight pause

Evil Caller from afar: RACER!!!

Another pause

Evil Caller from afar: RACER!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?


Evil, nay foul, Caller from afar: RACER?!?
Our harrassed hero: YE… OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

Stomps off to see what they want

Swear a lot after finding out they wanted to know if anyone had called for them

You get the idea?

I have taken the trouble of compiling a list of acceptable reasons to call me…

  1. Fire!
  2. You want to offer me something.
  3. I asked you to tell me when something was done/on TV.
  4. Axe –wielding baboon on the loose!

If your reason for wanting me is listed above, fine, call away. If not, come and speak to me properly dammit! That way, perhaps we could have a conversation about whatever the fuck you wanted to talk about without resorting to a comical shouted exchange of “What? Sorry? Say again? You did what now?” and the like which would be more suited to the bloody Muppet show.


But Racer, If I walk up to you to talk I will be in violation of that restraining order YOU had issued to me.

So, guess what? I am going to continue to yell! If you do not like it tough shit. If it makes you feel better, you can look out the window and Flip me a bird. Cause you know I am there watching. :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
Your annoying stalker.

PS. you can open the window and tell me your REAL feelings if you like :slight_smile:

I would respectfully draw your attention to Section 4, Paragraph 3 of said restraining order, where it specifically states…

“Excepting the case of a rampaging, axe wielding baboon, or such other occurrence as specified by Racer randomly on Internet message boards.” :wink:

I was actually going to add…

“5. When I called you first! :D”

…to my list of allowed reasons, but there would always be one who wouldn’t get it and explain to me at length how I am a low down dirty hypocrite, comparable in looks to a diseased wildebeest with hygiene issues. :smack:

But Racer, if you called someone first, that would be hypocritical.
You can’t have one set of rules for yourself, and another set of rules for other people.
You need to apply the same restraints on yourself that you would like to see in others.
It is only fair after all, otherwise people will be misled by your confusing actions and it may lead to further such situations.
Honestly, you need to think through this attitude problem of yours, I’m sure with a little application, you can develop yourself into a valued, non-biased member of your community.
I peronally feel that hypocrites are comparable in looks to a diseased wildebeest with hygiene issues.

I stand corrected. Thanks, Tir! :smiley:

Actually, scrub the axe wielding baboon bit. I’m starting to think I’d welcome him! :eek:

When I was a kid, one of the most infuriating things was when my parents would shout up to me from downstairs, and try to have a conversation with me from 30 feet away.

One of my coworkers does this to me.

I informed her that I was not a dog and do not come running when my name is called. She persisted in shouting my name from her office. So I keep a pair of earphones plugged into the CD-ROM drive of my computer and pretend to be listening to music when I hear my name bellowed. This forces her to actually (can you believe it?) get up out of her chair and walk all of 10 paces to my office. Slowly, I am training her to forget calling for me first and just come to see me in person. Victory!

If earphones aren’t available, try responding to their shouts by apparently mis-hearing them, and thus giving seemingly well-intentioned, but ultimately pointless or bizzare replies.

The old joke goes:

(three deaf ladies having a conversation)

First Lady: My! Isn’t it windy!
Second Lady: No, I think it’s Thursday…
Third Lady: So am I - let’s get a cup of tea.

For best effect, end with, “OK!” and give a big thumbs-up to let them know that you definitely heard that last bit - then turn away and get back to work, or pop out for a coffee.

This may be wayyyyy off topic, but “Axe-wielding baboon on the loose” struck me as a particularly good replacement for “Hi Opal” and the other phrase which I will not say out of politeness.

I don’t respond to anyone who does this and when they finally DO approach (usually frustrated), I simply say “I didn’t hear you- were you calling me?” After a few times they don’t bother anymore.

That’s a huge pet peeve of mine, too.


My youngest and the DH do this all the time. Just yesterday, I was outside digging a drainage ditch. I was hot, sweaty and covered in mud. Then I hear “Mom!” I look up, see the littlest angel standing up on the deck. Rather than slog my way out of the mud I say “what?” “Telephone!” he says, waving the phone wildly in the air. “Well, bring it to me” I shout back. Long story short, I ended up going to him to get the phone.

Dh constantly yells for me.
me - what?"
me - “wh - shit” stomp, stomp, stomp. “yes, dear?”
DH - Oh, I just wondered where you were."
me - “Aaarrrggghh!”