JET: You are within your rights to be rude, but not abusive. Action may equal reaction, but appropriate reaction. Even if this woman was inappropriate, you react appropriately. This isn’t a double standard, merely what is right. She was wrong. You can say “Leave me alone” or “Go away” or “I don’t want to talk to you”. Her lame attempts at conversation or using you to relieve her own lonliness may irritate you, and I personally see your desire to maim her with hot coffee as inappropriate, but you did not act on it and had you not shared your thought, I would not be able to label you as psychotic.
But, you see, it’s okay because SPOOFE would never mock anyone. Wouldn’t even dream of it. To him, mockery is like kryptonite to Superman. Like snakes to Indiana Jones. Like logical thought to Jack Chick. He despises mockery in all its many forms and actively works to discourage its use. That’s why he can post something like that without coming across as a huge hypocrite.
I didn’t say he was horrible but he is definitely scary. Just the same I do care about someone who is so obviously unbalanced. More to the point, I sincerely fear for the safety of any unsuspecting soul who is unfortunate enough to have to interact with him while he is having bizarre and inappropriate thoughts.
I do not consider myself self righteous at all. I do consider myself educated enough in the mental health field to recognize a cry for help. JET needs to be told that his thoughts are inapropriate and that acting on those thoughts would be wrong. He needs serious therapy to explore the reasons for such an extreme response and to learn coping mechanisms which he clearly does not possess. He needs to hear that his reaction is not acceptable and to learn what is acceptable behavior.
It is OK to sympathize with him and to say, “I can see how it would annoy you for a person to continue to attempt a conversation when you do not wish to do so”. But it is not OK to validate his response as something normal and appropriate.
I do understand him, far better than you may realize. I believe that I am fighting ignorance in its purest sense.
“Shut the fuck up,” does not qualify as “curt” in my book, but crosses well over that and into the realm of the inexcusably rude.
If a kid of mine did this, he’d be in deep shit[sup]*[/sup] - as would I have been when I was a teenager. Not much short of deliberate provocation would have justified the kind of response this lady got - and no, I don’t think it was present.
There are standards of acceptable conduct that my (future) kids are gonna have to live by, and stuff like this fails. Miserably.
[sup]*[/sup]I’m not ignorant of the possibility that behavior like this may be indicative of some kind of problem besides simple lack of manners, and that something besides punishment would be more appropriate. If my kid just didn’t feel like restraining his urge to dispense with common courtesy, punishment would be swift and unwavering. If it was an indication that help, beyond what mrs_d and I could give, was called for, you can bet we’d head in that direction.
I’m hoping that I’ll have the wisdom to tell the difference if/when the time comes.
A huge cyber-hug!
(((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))
Exiting lurk mode…
JET,
There IS a lot of ground between talking to someone, ignoring them, and abruptly telling them what they can go do with themselves. It seems as if you covered this ground just a little too quickly. In the future, perhaps you should keep in mind that therapy, whatever it’s for, should continue outside of the doctor’s office. If you aren’t able to at least make the effort to show some degree of human decency towards other people, or at least make it clear (in a reasonably polite way) why you are unwilling to show them that degree of consideration, your real worth as a human being is questionable.
Trust me, I’ve been there. It was quite a while ago, but I used to refuse to talk to people without giving them a real reason, and it never got me anywhere. All it did was create new enemies who, in turn, made my life more difficult than it should have been, or would have been had I shown one shred of human decency. I’m not saying that it’s necessary to be the “life of the party” in every foreseeable situation. However, in the end, (in my opinion at least) the thing that matters most is your ability to gain respect as a human being by treating others in kind. Being withdrawn and keeping to yourself are one thing; showing outward hostility towards other people (even complete strangers), no matter how tiring they are, is always a sign of weakness. I realize no one’s perfect, but I, for one, hate myself for every time I’ve not held up my end of that deal.
…back to lurking for another few days/weeks…
Wow, this thread sure took on a life of its own. I have something to say to each and every one of you but I’ve got SIMS on the brain and all I can think of is “gerra ess fredushay, zoom zoom!” Well, to make it short, thanks to the people who defended my side and fuck off to those who classify me as unfit for society.
To the anti-JET crowd, funny how you assholes shun me just like I shunned that homeless bitch while telling me I had no right to shun her. I guess it’s ok for you to do it to me but not for me to do it to her. Love these rules, you guys make them up on the fly or what? I’ve read confessions by Dopers of a far worse nature, not only in my world but I believe in the real world too. After all, I DID NOT THROW COFFEE ON HER, I only THOUGHT about it, and to be honest even if my shrink didn’t show up I don’t honestly believe that would have happened.
I certainly don’t get what brad_d was saying about what I said being worse than calling her a “cunt”. And I don’t believe the universal social compact is so fragile that it’s inherently wrong to shake up someone’s boundaries and triggers a little. That’s what I do, after all. Scylla hit it right on the head. I elicit fear in people, and often fear turns to loathing. I express myself in a manner that begs for the most negative and hostile reaction possible. It’s all true.
Why do I do this? Because I don’t know any other way. I don’t always try to do it because I’ve done it for so long it’s become second nature. It would be nice if you people would explain another way that MADE SENSE. (And I mean “you people” in the sense of everyone in the world but me.) I can’t follow rules that appear frivolous and require me to be a fucking mind-reader.
And so what if I were a teenager? By the way Marilyn Manson sucks donkey dick. Nice fucking stereotype you got there, Gary Scumsquat. I play DOOM, too…you missed that one, weasel-breathed chode-scraper.
I could point to a dozen in this thread that made my response to assholicness seem like the epitome of humility.
If I ever gave the impression that I would never mock anyone, I apologize. I thought an intelligent person would note that I never fail to mock someone when it’s appropriate. Didn’t you see all the fatherjohn threads?
I don’t think the majority of the people here are trying to tell you to “fuck off” I think the mojority here are telling you that you need to rethink your interactions with other people in this world. Specifically, people you interact with one-on-one whether you want to or not.
Look Jeremy, there’s a big line between telling someone to “fuck off” and telling someone even curtly that you “are not in the mood to talk.” This isn’t morality, this is average and this runs along all lines of standard human interaction.
That “homeless bitch” might be the kindest, sweetest most trusting person you might ever come across. She also might have several screws loose. But does that give you the right to sit there and call her a “homeless bitch” or tell her to “fuck off”?
Obviously there are many people that disagree with your response to her. Had you responded to me, in a similar situation (about four years ago) I probably would have attacked you physically. Well, okay that would have been during my severe drunken and depressed time where I couldn’t give a shit about my mortality – I was highly suicidal…and trust me, a punk like attitude like your response from anyone would set me off beyond comprehesion.
You know why I would have attacked you, because your shitty attitude. A person tries to make nice, even if in a weird way, but to have someone “spit” in your face with saying “fuck you” would have left both of us with serious battle wounds.
So, next time you feel it all right to tell someone to fuck off, I sure as hell hope you have a better reason than that.
Try as hard as you can to find that trusting being inside you. Find that being and learn that there are others out there, over 6 billion beings that have to interact no matter how much some of us hate it.
I agree with what someone else said, print this off for your therapist and see what he has to say about what many have said.
We aren’t against you just your reaction to the other human being in your OP. It’s one thing to want to be left alone, it’s another thing entirely when you let your temper become your best friend. I know that friend and that friend sucks the life right out of you. You can’t form relationships, you can’t hardly leave your house, you even end up loosing friends because of it. It’s a shitty friend to have in your life.
Next time you are in a store, try making idle conversation with a checker. Say thank you. Pretend that you are being friendly…usually they will return with friendly responses and usually you can walk away thinking that you might have helped another person walk away from their job with a few good points to the day.
It’s a lot easier to be nasty, sometimes a pain in the ass to be nice but once you walk away from being at least civil you can say “I handled that okay, I’m not such the horrible person I (they) think I am.”
I speak from experience so you can either write this off as an attack on you personally or use it as some friendly advice from someone that’s been so fucked up that suicide seemed the only way out. And I mean that last sentence.
Oh boo hoo, JET’s upset at people not liking him. Ever hear of cause and effect, chumpy? Let’s see - just as a purely hypothetical question, let’s say a dull little fuckwit came along, and in one thread managed to make the following statements:
Would you be surprised if people got bored of his inanely trite attempts to be shocking?
JET, do you really think that you’re going to insult me by ridiculing a rather obviously made up post name? I am sorry though if you feel I’ve judged you to be a stereotypical angst ridden oversized child. Tell you what, I’ll do you a deal. If you stop acting like one, I’ll revise my opinion.
He didn’t say “cunt” he said “curt”
Carry on 
Ah! And so we’ve come to the crux of the problem. Anyone who even suggests that maybe this situation would have been better remedied by a simple speech alteration is shunning you. I’ve noticed several people here say that they absolutely agree with your view BUT YOUR ACTIONS were deplorable. That’s not shunning, that’s giving a helpful hint.
OOOOO! Ooo! :: raising hand :: ME!
I know…because you love it. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again until you actually come to my house and kill me…
YOU ARE A SADIST. You seek out your own pleasure and happiness and everyone else be damned…and if that results in everyone looking at you like fucking Satan, you get off on that too. Everyone is intrigued by a villain, why not become one?
And yes, you do scare me. I don’t put on airs about shit like that. I’m a human being with emotions.
And yet…the woman in the waiting room was required to be a mind reader. How many times did you ask her calmly to leave you alone? 3? 2? 1? Oh, I remember…NONE. You told her to fuck off when she didn’t read your mind.
[Joanne Whorley] DRAMMAAAAA!!! [/Joanne Whorley]
have a good day Jeremy. I hope someday this all looks silly to you.
jarbaby
The problem isn’t, to me, so much what was said, but rather the way it escallated:
Annoying Woman: <chatter! chatter chatter?>
JET: <Silence>
Annoying Woman: <chatter chatter chatter, chatter?>
JET: <Silence>
Annoying Woman: <chatter chatter schizophrenic?>
JET: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Had it instead gone like this, I’d be on JET’s side:
Annoying Woman: <chatter! chatter chatter?>
JET: I’m not in the mood to talk. Thanks.
Annoying Woman: <chatter chatter chatter, chatter?>
JET: I said ‘I don’t want to talk’!
Annoying Woman: <chatter chatter schizophrenic?>
JET: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The problem is that JET gave the annoying woman no indication (sullen uncommunicativeness isn’t enough) that conversation is unwanted. He went from DEFCON 5 to DEFCON 1 without pausing at the intermediate numbers. Yes, it’s a boorish social convention to let someone know that they’re annoying you and giving them the chance to stop before going ballistic, but as a member of the petit bourgeois I prefer my method.
I also wonder if JET would have responded similarly had it been a 300 lb Hell’s Angel instead of a middle-aged lady?
Fenris
I knew I should have put a :rolleyes: at the end of that post, but I thought an intelligent person would realize I was being sarcastic. I do note that you never fail to mock someone when you think it’s appropriate. Well, obviously some people think it’s appropriate to mock JET. My point was that it’s hypocritical to take someone else to task for something that you’ve done often in the past. That is, unless you can explain why you’re the one who gets to determine who deserves to be mocked and who doesn’t.
I invite you to look at the comment that I was responding to where I told people to develop more of a spine.
I’ll pause a moment while you take a glance back at page 1…
::hums patiently::
See it? Yeah. There ya go. People who think Mr. Evil Twin’s comments in this thread were “the meanest on the board” haven’t seen a whole lot of this board.
(emphasis mine)
Um, Spoofe, is this what you’re talking about? I was wondering what was up with your Ned Flanders comment. I got the impression that Zette had written something really mean about JET, and then decided it was too mean and cut it out. She wasn’t saying that his comments were the meanest thing ever said on this board.
At least, as I understood it.
I have to agree that JET scares the living shit out of me. I also agree he was WAY out of line.
I would have said, “I really am reading this very interesting article, so if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk.”
Or, if she asks why you don’t want to talk, I’d say, “I have a sore throat.” Or a headache. Anything. I HATE small talk.
That said, if she had asked me if I was schizophrenic, my response would’ve been, (In a very sweet sickly voice), “I’m sorry, but that’s really none of your goddamn business.”
Uh…
::jaw drops::
Umm…
::glances around sheepishly::
[sub]Oops.[/sub]
Me, in my sleep-deprived stupor, thought she had deliberately edited out Mr. Evil Twin’s parts about mincing the woman’s children. And, in my haste, thought it was really silly to think that the meanest thing ever said on the Boards.
[singing]SPOOFER fu-u-ucked u-u-up![/singing]
So I belatedly chomp down on a piece of humble pie, and offer up my apologies to Zette and others. So now I leave, feeling stupider than I’ve ever felt before, yet, somehow, a tad wiser.
::slinks away, crimson as a rose::
Hey, Spoofe- don’t worry about it. I am so clueless that I didn’t realize that’s what you were thinking I meant. I’m like “Hey, nice unprovoked attack, buttmunch!”
Giraffe’s interpretation was exactly right. I literally wrote something so vile that I could not bring myself to post it. I was furious about the “freezing to death” comment.
I, too, should apologize for bringing up “the incident”. I’ve shoved lots of stuff up my ass, so I shouldn’t be throwing stones. I did, however, laugh when I wrote it. (Scarily, it sounds exactly like something that I would say off the cuff in real life, which is why I bite my tongue an awful lot) Does that make me evil?
OK, this is the Pit. Enough of this smarmy stuff. The Pitizens will be stringing us both up.
Zette