There ought to be a special circle of hell for those who talk on their cellphones while in the restroom. Even though I dislike restroom conversations with another person physically in the room, I can at least understand it. But you don’t have to take a call in the stall - their number will be right there on your phone, and you can return the call the minute you’re out of there. And anyone who places a call from the restroom should be shot. Sheesh.
In my experience, the rule against talking applies to only the areas that generally surround the row of urinals, and the stalls themselves. Speaking to each other- provided only that you already know each other- becomes acceptable once the users exit their respective stalls, and after they step away from the urinal and are completely zipped and safe from prying eyes. And comments may include only the following:
- Hey, what’s up. [response:] Not much.
- What the fuck was _________ talking about this morning- did you catch that?
- See that game last night?
- Thank God that meeting’s over.
I don’t understand why some people do this either. The only people I feel comfortable talking to while doing my business are close friends. I really feel weird if a co-worker is chatting to me from the next stall while they blast out a succession of farts.
I mean, geez. Animals go off by themselves to be relieved. You never see two cats in side-by-side litterboxes meowing at each other.
You’ve obviously never seen dogs taking a group whiz.
If men are so uptight about urinals, why are they even still in use? For that matter, assuming a man invented it, how did it come into use in the first place if it’s such source of discomfort? Considering the things I’ve seen men do around each other, the discovery of your collective attitude about it is more than a bit surprising. Please 'splain to us non-urinal users. You’ve gone over some of the rules, but I’m not really understanding the *why * of it. It can’t really be all about the sight of another man’s junk, can it? I know guys horse around in locker rooms completely naked. Is it the bodily function aspect of it? 'Cause I’ve witnessed more belching contests and blue flame clubs than I care to remember. Sorry if it should be obvious to me, but I just don’t understand because it seems so uncharacteristic.
If you’re a guy and you’re in a restroom and another guy comes in and starts chatting away just look over at him and say:
“Hey man, do your dicks ever get all tangled together? Mine look like some sort of pretzel over here.”
I guarantee they will finish up and be gone as fast as possible.
For real? Do they do that?
Hell no. I know guys. At least 65% will be like “Cool, man - how’d you do that? How can I get one?”
Saw it with my own eyes this past Sunday, as the three dogs that live down the street from my parents trotted past, stopping to take a group whiz on the bushes in the front yard.
I’ve a vague idea what you mean when you say, “blue flame club” - I’d ask for confirmation, but I’m afraid I’d regret it.
I’ve nothing more to add, except for the urinal quiz.
When you observe the rules and follow the proper protocol, its simply the quickest, most efficient way to go. That is why you hardly ever see lines at a guys restroom. No whipping the seat before you go, no sitting down, no relaxing, no downtime.
I’m glad I’m getting the response I’m getting. Part of me was worried I would get a pro-urinal conversationalist.
That *is * a good point! To tell you the truth, before I read this thread I assumed that group urinal use was like gathering around the water cooler (except, of course, no drinking) but your no-nonsense approach does explain why fifty men come and go while the line for the ladies room doesn’t movie.
I don’t really believe the protocol has all that much to do with efficiency, but it does help get you in and out, so that’s a plus.
It’s become my experience, getting older (23 - I’m like, halfway to midlife crisis-ville!) that adults do talk in the bathroom. I think the pretend-you-don’t-know-him thing is probably a tad on the adolescent side. Middle-aged guys, as far as I’ve seen, seem to routinely greet each other at the urinal. Professors I know at school will pretty frequently say hi. Still, I wouldn’t start a conversation with a stranger. That’s just going too far.
That would really be kinky.
Comments to strangers are only permitted (a) at events where alcohol is being served; (b) when multiple patrons are using the facilities, so that remarks aren’t directed to a specific person; and (c) when no substantive response is expected. Examples:
At a bar: Man, it sure feels good to piss.
At a wedding reception: I knew all the dicks would be hanging out in here.
At a sports event: Fuckin’ (insert name of poorly performing player).
In each case, an appropriate response would be, “Fuckin’ A!”
Well, I’m a bit older than that (39), and: No. Stop talking to me. Stop thinking about talking to me. If you want to grunt a noncommittal greeting to acknowledge my existence, I might let that go by.
If I’m washing my hands and you come in to use the urinal, don’t talk to me.
Either your zipper or your lips should stay zipped.
Mind you, this is all personal opinion, and anecdotal support from my experiences. I guess I’d defer to evidence presented by avid bathroom-observers.
As long as they’re not talking while watching, of course.
Hmm…I’ve not seen a lot of chatting going on in the men’s bathroom when I’m in there. But then again, could be because guys freak out whenever a lady walks in.
You all do have the shorter lines.
The only permissible utterance by a guy at the urinal is “Man, this water is cold!”
And the only appropriate response from another guy is, “Yeh, and it’s deep, too!”
Og bless Richard Pryor.
I’m getting older (32–midlife crisis ahoy!), and it’s my experience that worrying about being on the adolescent side is decidedly a feature of the recently adolescent. Just sayin’.
And I hate it when folks talk to me in the restroom. I’m not a very public person under the best of circumstances, and the restroom ain’t them.
Daniel
I didn’t say I worried about it. I merely described it as my observation. I’m not about to start conversations with random people under most circumstances, and certainly not while Lil Excalibre is in hand. I certainly think it’s the norm not to talk in restrooms - my observation is just that men well older than me seem less averse to it. And it seems to me that it’s not as upsetting to men who are a little older. I certainly didn’t say I try to start conversations with the guy next to me in order to seem older - I’m not sure where you’re drawing the conclusion that I’m worried about seeming adolescent from. That doesn’t seem to follow at all from what I said. I’m not terribly worried about conversation in the restroom either way.
Excalibre, I think Left Handis getting defensive because he read your comment as an implication that the “freak out at the urinal” is a symptom of immaturity. (If that’s what you meant, I agree with you).