How can I put this in terms you’ll understand? Your name implies that you don’t have, don’t want, and are very happy not to have children. Therefore, you probably don’t understand the mindset of someone whose life revolves around caring for a child.
And for the record, no matter how good your imagination is, no matter how much you love your pets (believe me, I’m the Imagination Master and I’d probably die to save my pets’ lives) you really don’t know what parenthood is like until you’ve experienced it. I thought I did, but I didn’t. Every day of my pregnancy I’d reach a new epiphany of what it was like… but I still didn’t know until after he was born. It’s not a feeling like any other. I know you’ll deny this. I know you’ll say “I know exactly what it would feel like!” because A) you’re that kind of person and B) a lot of people say that. But you’d be wrong. You can’t know until you’re there. Period.
Let me try this again. After typing a nice lengthy reply and having it disappear on me I’m jut going to say this to all the people who think it’s ok to touch a stangers baby.
Don’t touch my baby! Get the fuck away from her!
Stay the hell away her! She is not public property. Thank you for thinking she is incredibly cute but tell me from over there, I can hear you just fine and she doesn’t care what you think of her.
And I think zuma is the one that mentioned this, I did say that my family would not be picking up and passing around my daughter but I also said they wouldn’t do this without asking me first. I don’t have a problem with my family touching her, just complete fucking strangers are the ones I have a problem with. And me hysterical, I don’t think so. JillGat I know that I can’t keep her from getting sick but I can prolong it. She has already started on her immunizations.
ImChildFree you have a right to your opinions also but please try to have a more well informed opinion before you reply. I stated on at least a couple of occasions that I changed my baby in her stroller she never once came in contact with the changing table. I also have right to my opinion and that is to not want strangers to touch my baby period.
My main objective in starting this thread was to vent a little and hopefully remind people to not do this.
The really sad thing is that I think I have, quite honestly, fallen for that and not just once, either. I am just about the most gullible person I know. I may read a lot, but I have absolutely zero street smarts. No horse sense.
Sorry, too, for feeding the trolls. I thought this person might be a legitimate newbie for the first few posts. Silly me.
I am a newbie … in fact I didn’t even know this place existed until today … I didn’t just post to piss you all off … the friendly bet came after my first few posts when my hubby said something off the cuff about not being worth it that people at this board (straight dope) didn’t get upset over other people’s opinions and such … He thought you all were open minded and accepted other opinions and didn’t get offended easily.
He was wrong and I had a delightful lunch because of it.
BubbleGirl … I apologize for inferring that you were an idiot for leaving for your child on a changing table if that was not the case, however I don’t apologize for the comment … people who walk away from their child and something happens have no business complaining.
While I am not the type to just coo over children / babies period. I can see where you would be upset … but going on and on just doesn’t seem necessary … seems overkill … tell the woman you were upset by it … wash the childs hands and let it go.
Cranky… you seem to have some sort of obsession with shoving things up my ass … while the idea of having an admirer is flatteringly I am just not into that sort of thing … thanks for the offer though.
Ayesha … smoke rising from my ass … what is it with you all and my ass … I mean come on … surely you have BETTER things to do …
For the rest of you … stop taking life so seriously … after all you won’t get out alive …
Well, you should have lurked longer then. The Pit is the only place where the type of behavior you have seen is appropriate and/or encouraged. The rest of the board is generally very evenly tempered and a place where people can post their opinions and have intelligent discussions.
The pit is for venting about something you are already very upset about.
So he was not wrong, and you have a smug attitude. You just didn’t know enough about where you were to make and educated decision.
And it’s a fascinating, fascinating turn of logic for you to conclude after participating in, what is it, two threads? Three? On one single day…? Yes, it just says so much about your critical thinking skills that you, after this much time on the boards, in one particular forum known for flaming of both the serious and lighthearted kind, can draw a conclusion about the open-mindedness of Dopers and their reaction to opinions. Indeed. It strikes me as parallel to walking into a bar, making an ill-worded comment, getting booed, and then leaving with the conclusion that everyone who lives in that paticular state is intolerant.
Did you have a closed-head injury, or did your teachers actually know you’ve got such an incredible lack of judgment and perspective and passed you anyway?
You might think I’m a real dickhead, and include other people from this thread in that (possibly apt) judgment, but how do you feel about Collounsbury? TomnDebb? The Muslim Guy? BlackClaw? You’ve read them widely, of course, because how else could you make your declaration. Yes, they’re included too in your widespread proclamations about the moral shortcomings and intolerance of this pathetic board? Yes? Because we know you wouldn’t accidentally say “This board” or “dopers” when you really just meant two or four of us. So, I’d like for you to explain (and talk real slow, I am a natural blonde after all) how those guys represent Doper intolerance.
Away with you, troll. I don’t care if this ** is** the rockin’ and rollin’ and lightweight curse-heavy ranting pit. I love people with new opinions and new perspectives, but I can’t say I’ve got any sort of interest in someone who lacks the ability to think.
And I’ve heard many a person tell me that they loved their pets to death–but that when they had a child, that love was totally eclipsed by what they felt for that baby. I did not say that one without children couldn’t feel emotion. But until you have those kids, you can’t possibly know what THAT feeling is. I know–I wasn’t put on this earth with kids. I always loved and wanted children–but NOTHING in the world could have prepared me for the feeling I had when I first held my baby in my arms. (And before this comes up, yes, I realize that adoptive parents feel exactly the same–they are your children, no matter who gave birth to them.) What was intended by my statements was not that childless people couldn’t feel love, but that the love for your child leads to a protectiveness apparently unimaginable by some posters. Until you have gone through ANY kind of experience, you don’t know what that experience is like–that seems like a no-brainer to me!
As a childfree person, I don’t want to be even remotely associated with people like ImChildFREE.
I think she is trying to promote her own agenda and persuade others to think like her, especially by inserting these little gems:
(note: Which is exactly what Bubble Girl did!!)
Either way, I want to be clear that all childfree people are NOT like this. Many of us understand and recognize the right for people to reproduce and love and protect their children. All I can say is THANK COD that ImChildFREE won’t be reproducing.
But I’m sure we’ll see her on the Jerry Springer show anyway.
That is not exactly what she did … she came here ranting about her child being touched on the hands … on her soapbox … she even used the word soapbox.
No not all childfree people are like me … every person is different unless of course you happen to be one of the sheep of the world. It is true that some childfree people even like children. I never said all were like me, let me tell you though, a lot of us don’t think that you have the RIGHT to reproduce, not when the planet is in such a state of overpopulation as it is. I am quite grateful that there are parents who are protective and raise their children properly, it does make life easier to deal with parents and children on occasion than constantly being around breeders and brats, and yes there is a difference …
And while you may enjoy watching trash television, let me assure you … not only will you NOT see me on Jerry Springer but you would not catch me watching it either.
So every person who doesn’t think like you is a sheep?
One thing your husband neglected to tell you is that the purpose of this board is to fight ignorance. I suggest you educate yourself immediately on “rights” and “overpopulation”. The search feature can help.
Oh, it is not either, you goddamned dummy. Geez, as a childfree person myself, I get sick and tired of seeing obvious morons[sup]1[/sup] like you parrot tired, easily disproveable baloney like this.
[sup]1[/sup]Have you noticed that the rest of us are able to quote and respond to posts without quoting the entire freakin’ post before typing our response? It really isn’t that difficult a trick.
Hey Im Childfree-are you a poster on Turtle’s Bratpage by any chance? You sound like one of them (I love that page, I think it is hilarious!)
As a person who is childfree by circumstance not by choice, I have to say this whole “you can’t understand unless you’re a mother” thing is…well what can I say, for someone who longs to have children and can’t have them it is sort of…well sort of rubbing it in, it hurts a little. It’s irrational I know…it doesn’t help that I know it is true. sigh.
Sorry for the slight hijack there! peace and love everyone (even in the Pit)
(This morning I saw a baby that was made by my boyfriend’s friend’s cousin who is a 15 year old erm…irresponsible person…some little 15 year old who can’t keep her legs together can have a baby and I can’t, it upsets me… )
[sup]sorry for the other hijack! I’ll be a good little llama now, I promise![/sup]
Not true that if you don’t have kids you don’t understand. I don’t have kids-but I DO understand how she could be so upset. I’d be FURIOUS if that were my child. Hell, I don’t even like it when people touch me (like a pat on the back from a customer or something)-so why would I want someone touching my child?
I always smile when I see little babies, and I admire from afar-but I never touch. I wouldn’t want to anyway-I would feel too nervous.
I can definitely see it-and I don’t have kids. So I don’t think we should let these people off the hook and say, “You couldn’t understand.” They don’t want to-they’re too self-centered.
pldennison … not sure what you are going on about disprovable. The earth is overpopulated. You can have an opinion to state otherwise but there are just too many people on the planet. As for not editing what I replied to … so what … you had to scroll down … are you that hurt and troubled by it … I bet if you look hard enough you can find a way to block my posts … smirks
lieu … you say I can’t imagine … and you are an authority because??? So I am a troll bfd … you will either get over it or take it with you to the grave and either way I am fine with that …
Infectious Lass … no I sure don’t post there but I have read it … I enjoy reading the posts there. I too think it is offensive to claim that because you have never given birth to a child you can not possibly understand the love for a child or the desire to protect it. Explain that to the countless adoptive parents around the world. And for what it is worth, I don’t think it is true. I think anyone can see love for what it is and you don’t NEED a child to give you that joy. It isn’t irrational at all to be geniunely upset by something. I can understand your being upset this morning by the situation with with 15 year old.
I don’t think that people were saying childless people couldn’t understand the motivations of the OP… they were saying that a childless person can’t understand the full depth of feeling/emotion/worry/etc that a parent has for a child.
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