"Don't worry, I'm not really crazy." Uh...yeah, right.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Disclaimer: This post has some offensive language in it. It is kind of necessary to give an accurate portrayal of this episode. Just be forwarned.
So, I’m on the train home last night and there’s a few other people on the train. To the right of me is a teenage kid who’s got his ipod cranked to the max, but that happens so often nowadays that I barely notice it. To the right of me is a Seemingly Normal Looking Man. (We’ll call him SNLM for short.) Nobody is talking much. However out of the blue, SNLM starts chuckling, and muttering.

SNLM: “Yeah, SOUL TRAIN. Yeah. I remember soul train.”

I notice that he’s looking in my direction. Is he looking at me? No, he seems to be looking past me at the kid with the ipod. But the kid is not looking back at him, doesn’t even seem to notice him.

SNLM: “Oh yeah, SOUL TRAIN. Back in the 70s, yeah, I 'member SOUL TRAIN.”

Actually, he doesn’t even seem to be looking at the kid. He just seems to be just staring into the air, talking to a nonexistent person. I do my best to ignore him, since my stop is coming up.

Just my luck, SNLM gets off the train at my stop, still muttering & chuckling about “Soul Train.” We’re the only two people to exit, and there’s two flights of stairs up to the street. Once we’re off the train, he turns to me and does talk to me.

SNLM: “Don’t worry, pal. I’m not really crazy. I was just trying to mess with that guy.”

Me: “Huh?”

SNLM: “You know, that kid with the headphones, blaring it so loud everybody’s gotta hear it. I was just trying to goof with him. Just think it’s rude, y’know? Playing his music so loud, y’know?”

Me: “Oh right. Well, yeah, I gotta admit I --”

SNLM: (interrupting me) “And it’s always them goddamn Africans! Them and their SOUL TRAIN shit!”

Me: “Uh, yeah, well…”

SNLM: “Me, I’m just a normal guy. Not crazy, just acting that way. Cause all of those goddamn fuckin’ hoobedoos* never turn off the goddamn fuckin’ SOUL TRAIN shit!”

Me: (silence)

SNLM: “I swear they’re gonna drive me NUTS, them goddamn fuckin’ darky hoobedoos* and their goddamn fuckin’ SOUL TRAIN shit, all of the goddamn fuckin’ time! Christ it never stops! FUCKIN’ SOUL TRAIN ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME. So I act crazy just to freak 'em out when they start with that SOUL TRAIN shit.”

Me: (silence)

SNLM: “Same goes for all of them slanty-eyed fish faces!”

At this point, we’ve finally reached street level and I am hurring in the opposite direction from him.

SNLM: (shouting to me as I retreat) “But I’m not really crazy!”

Yeah, right.
Or something that sounded like that. I never heard that word before, and I’m wondering if he just made it up himself.

2

He was obviously wrong about too many things to list here.

3

No, just racist.

And crazy.

4

Interesting how “But I’m not really crazy!” always means the opposite.

5

You’ve obviously never seen Scooby-Doo.

That’s what he calls himself: Hoobedoo!!

6

From the could ‘a, would’a, should a’ (said) department:

“Yeah, and how about those morons who like (insert genre here)”
classic rock
country western
Lawrence Welk
etc.

“But I’m not really crazy!!”

7

If he talked to himself and was unwashed would be be Hoobastank?

8

Same as “I’m not racist”, “I’m not trying to be difficult” and “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings”.

9

And “I swear I’m telling the truth. You believe me, don’t you?”

10

Oooh, and “I don’t like to complain.” (My irascible elderly aunt once said that, and I stopped her cold – and cracked up everyone else present – by responding “Yes you do.”)

11

His conversation with you would have made more sense if only you remembered SOUL TRAIN.

You obviously don’t 'member SOUL TRAIN.

12

Methinks thou dost protesteth too much, thou bigotted jackanape!

13

Some word is scratching at my brain, trying to get out. It’s an offensive term for Africans, similar to “hottentot” and from about the same period. It could be spelled like the “hoobedoos” in SNLM’s rant.

14

What in a great hairy Zeus is a "Hoobedoo?

I thougt is was “Roobedoo”.

15

Yeah, I totally thought this was gunna be a dating thread.

16

A cursory google search on ‘hoobedoo’ reveals the following two links:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=gary+simpson
http://www.articlesbase.com/authors/gary-simpson/76948.htm

Clearly, brandelion, is the online name of author Gary Simpson, who writes about music and is also a SNLM, at least until you get him on a train with loud music and black people. QED.

An alternative explanation from “Urban Dictionary: sex” is that ‘hoobedoo’ is street slang for penis. Seeing as these two explanations are not mutually exclusive, I stand by my former claims.

17

I get the occasional crazy talking to me too. My standard response has been to look as pissed as I can and shout, " I’m not the captain!".

Then I just turn and walk away.

They usually just stand there in stunned silence. My only fear is that someday I will say that to “the captain”.

18

I believe the word in question may be jigaboo

19

What is it today? I had to call someone (this is my first day in a new job) at another place of employment–this woman is someone I will need to talk to fairly frequently. She didn’t waste a minute. She jumped from China not selling mint flavored gum (we weren’t speaking of China) to “not China, all those other countries over there–once they go Muslim, you can’t trust them at all.” To Obama–“look at the appointments he’s made. What a fool!”
I barely know her NAME. But I do know (now) that I really don’t want to talk to her casually, at all. I will have to call her at times, but I think I’ll try to manage on my own, thankyouverymuch…

20

I…this hurts my brain. She just brought this up in the middle of a work related conversation? thinks But if she hates “all those other countries over there” wouldn’t she be content that there is more mint flavored gum for her at home? Does it just anger her that there are “people out there chewing gum flavors other than MINT!!!”? Cause I really liked strawberry back in high school.

I remember it as “Roobeeedoobedoooooo!”

Oh, yeah, to address the point of the thread: The “don’t worry” part of his speech is actually what seems most worrying to me. Like he’s just trying to soothe you until he manages to drag you away to his lair in the sewer.