Don't you just hate it when ................

Thought of this as a reply to the post about papering toilet seats bought thought is could make a good post in its self.

Don’t you just hate it when … a little ball of poop hits the toilet water just right and the little ball of water hits you in the ass just before your asshole slams shut.

That’s why you’re supposed to taper them–to avoid spashback.

I hate it when I have to wipe for half an hour to get clean. I mean, I HATE it. I get all worked up, muttering to myself and everything. Especially if this happens just after I’ve showered, and feeling all clean and fresh. Why does pooping have to be so messy? Surely this could have been designed better. And once again, I raise the call for an “All bodily functions, all the time” forum.

If there’s a reason for which I love the SDMB it’s the variety of topics debated.

and then five minutes later you have to poop again.

You just described how I spent most of the time I had planned to spend watching the Braves last night.

Poop balls should not be launched unchecked. You’ve just been asking for trouble.

Instead, grab both knees with your hands and pull upwards right before you fire your next pebble. This should allow it to “skip” across the top of the unpotable water much like a well-thrown stone. Should the turd orb make it to the tank bank, it can then expend the rest of it’s velocity running around the porcelain rim much like a roulette ball seeking the black.

Good luck Opie and don’t forget to whistle while you work.

I can’t believe my sister and my husband are posting in this thread. That is you, right?

Wow. The family that shits together pits together?