Let me set the scene:
I work in a small call center. It is one of those places that is overwhelmingly xtian, and while I am most assuredly not xtian, they hired me and I just keep my mouth shut when religion comes up and make comments like “You know, I am trying to tell you what to believe, please do not involve me in this conversation” when someone tries to drag me into it.
I tolerate the vast majority of people with whom I work. hell, even the hateful old biddie who made the comment in front of me (not just in front of me, but directly to me!)while watching a commercial for Gastric Bypass Surgery that “if those fat asses would just stop eating, they wouldn’t need surgery” is tolerable. And I have had GBS.
There is one thing (gods, I even loathe using the word “person” here) that I simply cannot tolerate, though. Let’s call her “Serina.” Serina has been with this company for something like a million years and there is no way she is going anywhere as she is buddies with way too many of the upper management. She is one of those people who thinks that walking into a garage makes one a car…er, I mean, walking into a church makes one a Christian. That is as far as her “Christianity” goes. When TN was going through the whole “let’s keep gays from getting married” thing, she actually had the gall to tell me how I should vote on the amendment. Nevermind the fact that I am bisexual. Nevermind the fact that my BIL is quite flambouyantly gay. Nevermind…oh, nevermind. I tore her a new asshole over that one and at that point told her that I was not trying to be rude, but I neither could nor would tolerate her ignorance and hate and that it would be best if she just never spoke to me again.
It worked for about a week. After that, she (as is the wont of the ignorant) would try to speak to me when we would be in the break room at the same time (which is far too often, as her lunch and mine are at the same time on Mondays, and her lunch coincides with my arrival the other days of the week). I would try to avoid this by sitting down at the table farthest from her, picking up the newspaper and covering my face with it. Think Ward Beaver at the breakfast table. She didn’t grok and would still try to speak to me. I would shake the paper, look at her and say, “huh? I was reading, surely you weren’t talking to me, I wasn’t listening.” Yeh, she’s that fuggin’ stupid.
Fast forward to today. I am working a full day, so I take a lunch. I have the imfamous summer cold and am congested as all get out. I run over to Fortune House (the Chinese Soup Nazi – OMG they have THE BEST FOOD!) for some “extra, extra spicy Wonderful Shrimp, yes, I know it is very spicy, yes, I really want it extra extra spicy. Thanks so much!!” When I get back, there she is, tv on soap opera, full volume. Yay, think I, she’s watching her soaps! But of course, it was not to be.
I sit down and start eating my Chinese food (with chopsticks, of course) and the following ensues:
Serina: What did you get?
Serina: I don’t see how those people can eat like that.
Serina: (points to my chopsticks) You know, with those things. how do those people eat with those things?
Me: What people?
Serina: THOSE PEOPLE, you know, the Chinese.
Me: :dubious: The same way I do? pick up newspaper, put it in front of my face, making it a little difficult to eat with chopsticks, but dear Og, is she seriously going to act like that in public?!?!?
Serina: So, you getting crazy customers this morning?
Me: rattlerattlerattle huh? No, just the same old same old.
Serina: Man, is it bar missa (yes, she said “bar missa”) time already?
Serina: Is it bar missa time? I keep getting a lot of them on the phone.
Me: Serina, uhm, a bar mitzvah is the 13th birthday of a boy – it can happen anytime, it’s not a specific holiday.
Serina: Oh. Well, it must be one of their holidays coming up or something, I have had a lot of them on the phone today.
Me: I have to go poop.
Seriously, what could I say at that point? Now, the truth is that we do have a lot – too many – annoying Jewish customers who will call and want to order $5 worth of gift wrap for their kid’s bar/bat mitzvah and then complain about the freight, service charges, etc, but still. We also have a lot of Southern bitches who want to call and talk to me as if I give a shiyat about their stupid gift basket business. And a boatload of brides who cannot understand that no, we cannot have their ribbon custom printed for their wedding that they’ve been planning for 12 months ready in time for the actual wedding NEXT FUCKING MONDAY.
This should probably be in the pit, as I could really use some expletives about this person, but I am just too lazy to make it less mundane and more pointed as I would like to in the pit. Oh, and I am not seeking advice, as there is nothing that can be done. I have made it clear to management that I did not appreciate the hate that bitch spewed out about homosexuals at me and nothing was ever said to her. She won’t be fired for her racism or other crap and I would only be setting myself up for a world of shit if I tried to rock the boat. As it stands, I love my job, and can tolerate pretty much everyone else. I just had to get this off my chest and vent. Thanks.