Dontcha just hate...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

…that all the raisins in a bowl of Raisin Bran sink to the bottom, so your last few bites consist entirely of soggy, squishy, sugary raisins? Yuck.

…when the coffee filter doesn’t go in just right, and you end up brewing a pot of highly sedimentary java?

…being on the toilet when you realize you’re out of TP, and having to get up and waddle carefully to the cabinet to get more?

…putting on a new pair of pantyhose, and your thumb/toenail punches a hole in them? (ladies…mostly! :wink: )

…realizing halfway through a hot, sweaty August day that you forgot to put deodorant on?

…the feel of wet hair pressed against the back of your neck when putting on a tight sweater/turtleneck after a shower?

etc…?

2

…when there are bread crums in the butter/margarine

…when your internet connection isn’t working despite all the signs on the cable modem saying it should

…getting an eyelash in your eye that you just can’t get out

…pouring a bowl of cereal and getting out a spoon only to find you’re out of milk

…getting out of the car and having it shock you

…being all set in your bed with your covers all comfortable and realizing you left the lights on downstairs

3

Reference the toilet paper, Andrex users beware. A U-turn in corporate strategy will result in Andrex rolls having a shortfall of 38 sheets. The remaining sheets will, however, be thicker.

Who has been complaining, and did they go straight to the telephone from the toilet?

I foresee a downturn in stock market value, with large amounts being wiped off before Andrex reaches the bottom.

4

…having my contacts refuse to stick to my eyeballs the way they’re supposed to so that I have to put them in at least three times to get them to stay put

5

…When you get a new pair of socks only to realize that the stitching is right in front of your toes instead of being on top like it should be, damn it!

6

My car shocks me all the time!!! (thats bad BTW)

I hate:

That funky under-the-boob-its-been-hot-all-day smell when I take my bra off

When I am eating ramen noodles and hot sauce and I get it in my eye.

When I am playing everquest, fighting some big ass baddy when it comes toward me and … the computer freezes! I log in to find that I have been murdered.

When the kids poop and dont flush.

7

When I wake up in the morning and find that, yet again, all of my toes have been replaced with little wooden pegs.

8

When I plop down on the toilet in the middle of the night, and realize seconds too late that my son has sprinkled on the seat again.

I’m with Kellibelli on the bra thing, and I also hate the extreme itchiness of the skin indentations left by the elastic in a tight bra when I take it off.

I also hate it when my feet stick to a kitchen floor that looks clean, but is covered with a thin veneer of spilled soda. Feels like I’m caught on flypaper.

9

When the cat decides to play hunt the puffball . . . at 3 a.m.

When the cat on my pillow decides to snack on my moustache

When the cat decides she’s lost in the house and meows for help, at 3 a.m.

Can you guess that I have three cats? Some nights, I don’t know which one to kill first.

10

I don’t know why, but that cracked me up. :slight_smile:
I hate when my dog poops in the house. If I don’t catch him doing it, he’ll eat it. I don’t know if he does it to hide the evidence, or just because it tastes good. Either way, it’s gross, and the only reason I know he did the ol’ Shit-N-Eat is because he leaves little shit-crumbs. Bastard.

I hate when my downstairs tenant cooks bacon at 7 am Sunday morning. Every Sunday morning. I wake up hungry for bacon, and I never have any in the house. Even if I did, I’d never get up to cook it at 7. Nope, much too lazy for that.

I also hate when she cooks something else that smells very very bad. I’m pretty sure it is baked puppies in kitten sauce, but I could be wrong. She cooks it at least once a week. Yuck.

Rose

11

The TV Guide is wrong.

You find a show listed that you’ve just GOT to watch. A show so awesome that you cancel dinner plans to watch. You go to the store and spend money on popcorn, chips & salsa, ice cream, and pop. You settle down, snacks at the ready, only to discover that…something else is on. Some lame-a** show that’s on it’s 187th rerun, and it sucked the first 186 times you saw it and you know damn well it didn’t get any better!

And so, after you watch the sucky rerun for the 187th time (because there wasn’t anything else on), you go to bed. Then you get up and go to work all pissed off. Then you get home, and flip open the TV Guide again, only to discover that the Truly Awesome Show was ON while you were at WORK! And oh yeah, it just ended. Five minutes before you got home. But since you didn’t know it was on that day, you didn’t set your VCR.

:mad:

12

dontcha just hate…

when you go over to Blue’s house and the dog licks you on the face

13

Wicked Blue…

“Shit-N-Eat”!!

Heeeeee! You cracked me up too!

That sounds like some kind of nasty combination gigantic unisex multi-toilet room (no stalls so you can be sociable) and fast food restaurant where you eat as you sit on the toilet… very efficient if you really think about it.

Okay, I just grossed myself out.

14

Or when you don’t have a shirt on, or when you’re driving and your hair’s still wet and it’s against your back and gives you a wet streak . . .

15

…when you sit on grass that you think is dry and get a wet spot on your ass.

Thinking you have an extra pack of cigarettes and you don’t.

16

…being told what to do.

…being the last one to know what is going on.

…returning to a foot high pile of paperwork after vacation.

…the little piles of dog hair the collects in the corners of my house, even though I vaccumed two days ago.

…when driving down the highway and a great big bug splats in front of your face on the windsheild and you try to wash it off only to find that you are out of windshield washer fluid and you have smeared that bug all over the place.

17

…When the seatbelt latches (like it should in an an accident, but this is normal driving and no need to tighte up) and won’t release, and with every exhale it latches tighter.

…When the dealer says, “I can’t recreate the problem, so I can’t fix the seatbelt”.

…Realizing you read the wrong issue of ‘TV Guide’ and missed the really great movie by a whole week.

18

…that you ate all the raisins on Raisin Bran before getting to the end, and all you get is icky soggy bran? Yuck. :slight_smile:

…being bitched at by the bartender at work because you order 12 drinks at once for the reservation table of 12, and he’s in a grouchy mood (sorry, next time I’ll do them one at a time…)

…when your housemates use up all the TP, don’t replace it, and never buy their own?

…when same housemates leave for weeks at a time in the summer and allow such things as milk and veggies to stay in the fridge until you clean them out in disgust?

…when racoons tear open above-mentioned bags of rotten milk all over your driveway?

…when you get up in the middle of the night, dying of thirst, and there’s no juice made?

…when the phone stops ringing just as you pick it up?

…forgetting to call the garage for an appointment to check your car over before you leave for a trip?

19

…getting all cozily snugged down into bed only to hear the cat throwing up a hairball on the living room carpet.

…seeing the huge pile of crap at my workstation left by the departing shift who just couldn’t get around to doing it.

…getting home from the grocery store with a hundred dollars worth of stuff and then remembering I didn’t get what I went for in the first place.

…when the cat comes up to give me a kiss on the mouth just after he finished dining on a big, juicy moth.

20

I hate when I wake up in the morning, and when I eat breakfast, my jaw catches. Constantly. I can’t chew on the side of my jaw that I slept on. Why can’t I have evolved without jaws? I can live just fine by spitting digestive fluids onto my food, and then sucking up the matter left over! (imagines the hagfish, then super-imposes it on himself. not a pretty picture.)