It started innocently enough. It was a slow week at work and I stumbled over Unca Cece’s archives. I’d drop by a couple of times a week, check the column and the mail bag. Then they started the Thread Spotting feature and I was doomed.
I can’t stay away. God knows I’ve tried. But whenever I’m at my computer (which is all day, since I work, live, and play on the damn thing) I can’t help but wonder …
Who’s getting roasted in the Pit?
What’s going on in Doperville?
Is there anything on MPSIMS that will allow me to contribute my own mudane, pointless experiences, thus to enlighten the masses?
Is this the day someone will point out my cool sig and decide I’m no longer a newbie and worthy of conversing and/or mad flirting?
I was tricked into coming here! Cruelly tricked. It all started with an ad on a humour email I’m subscribed to. “Can women have non-genital orgasms?” The ad beckoned. “Click here to find out.” Click here, click here … c’mon you know you want to … first time’s free…
Before long, I started to refer to conversations (even in real life) as THREADS, and it’s hard to talk to me without hearing "That reminds me of what I read on the Dope the other day … Seems Eve was leaving her cat with a sitter for a weekend … "
HA! VB, You should talk! This is all your fault! WHO invited me to join? WHO got me to start posting right away by starting a welcome thread for me?
And now you want to join this group!
Well, ok, can I join too? I’ll be good, honest I will. I haven’t even mentioned a ‘thread’ for… oh… about…3 days, I think. At least to someone other than a Doper.
But, it’ll have to be after the Vegas Dopefest!
It started years ago, socially. A friend got me hooked by showing me that fatal first book. I had to get the second, read the third in the store without buying it. I was slipping, bad. I read the books more than anything. It wasn’t enough.
Then, that fatal day when I discovered Mr. A was on the net.I logged on to the site and was stunned. Tons of columns. I felt the rush again, and was hooked. Would spend hours browsing the site.
Then, when that began to wear off… sigh I discovered message boards. I only lurked, honest! For the longest time that held me… I told myself I was normal, and could quit anytime. I wasn’t one of… them.
Then one day I took that step. I posted. I forget what it was about. Suddenly all those years of BBSing came back, and I went mad, feeling the rush again.
Now I’m trying not to take that final step… posting in the pit… I’m losing it tho… Every day I feel the urge to hit bottom and post there… I need help… Bad…
Hi. My name is Smeghead.
<<Waits for chorus of, “Hi, Smeghead.” Nothing. Oh, yeah. Right.>>
And I’m a Dopeaholic.
Last Monday, I think it was…I forget…they all run together in my mind. Anyway, I was not only online, but either on the board or the chat room for close to 12 hours straight. I need help. I admit that. And I will check back here evey hour on the hour until I am cured, dammit!! I will be free!!