Dope-aholics Anonymous

It started innocently enough. It was a slow week at work and I stumbled over Unca Cece’s archives. I’d drop by a couple of times a week, check the column and the mail bag. Then they started the Thread Spotting feature and I was doomed.

It was the Evil Nazi Ground Hogs that brought me low.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15906

So far the D.A. members are:

[in alphabetical order]
BigJoe
BratMan007
etgaw1
Eve
GaWd
Mr. Cynical
pluto
Silo
struuter
tatertot
Techchick68

I tell my wife I’m checking out the Monster board then sneak over and call everybody who posts in the Pit a big baby.

I’m an anti-social doper.

I can’t stay away. God knows I’ve tried. But whenever I’m at my computer (which is all day, since I work, live, and play on the damn thing) I can’t help but wonder …

Who’s getting roasted in the Pit?
What’s going on in Doperville?
Is there anything on MPSIMS that will allow me to contribute my own mudane, pointless experiences, thus to enlighten the masses?
Is this the day someone will point out my cool sig and decide I’m no longer a newbie and worthy of conversing and/or mad flirting?

I was tricked into coming here! Cruelly tricked. It all started with an ad on a humour email I’m subscribed to. “Can women have non-genital orgasms?” The ad beckoned. “Click here to find out.” Click here, click here … c’mon you know you want to … first time’s free…

Before long, I started to refer to conversations (even in real life) as THREADS, and it’s hard to talk to me without hearing "That reminds me of what I read on the Dope the other day … Seems Eve was leaving her cat with a sitter for a weekend … "

Help me. Please.

Ummmmmmmmm…

i’d like to join; I realy would!

But is it ok if I join after the Vegas Dopefest?

I…I…need a …fix…

HA! VB, You should talk! This is all your fault! WHO invited me to join? WHO got me to start posting right away by starting a welcome thread for me?
And now you want to join this group! :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, ok, can I join too? I’ll be good, honest I will. I haven’t even mentioned a ‘thread’ for… oh… about…3 days, I think. At least to someone other than a Doper. :wink:
But, it’ll have to be after the Vegas Dopefest! :slight_smile:

It started years ago, socially. A friend got me hooked by showing me that fatal first book. I had to get the second, read the third in the store without buying it. I was slipping, bad. I read the books more than anything. It wasn’t enough.

Then, that fatal day when I discovered Mr. A was on the net.I logged on to the site and was stunned. Tons of columns. I felt the rush again, and was hooked. Would spend hours browsing the site.

Then, when that began to wear off… sigh I discovered message boards. I only lurked, honest! For the longest time that held me… I told myself I was normal, and could quit anytime. I wasn’t one of… them.

Then one day I took that step. I posted. I forget what it was about. Suddenly all those years of BBSing came back, and I went mad, feeling the rush again.

Now I’m trying not to take that final step… posting in the pit… I’m losing it tho… Every day I feel the urge to hit bottom and post there… I need help… Bad…

sobs

Hi, my name is Girlbysea, no…GBS no… Damn, guess I forgot the real one!!!..

I’d like to join, honest. But…what else would I do at my boring as hell job with not enough work for me?

Oh heck, I’ll join. Sign me up and pass the beer!

:peaks in the door:
Asks feebly, “Is the DA meeting?, I, uh, am supposed to pick up a, uh, [pause] friend.”

As an addict you’d think I could post a damn message correctly.

“Hi, my name is Scott, and I have a problem.”

I DON’T have a problem. There is nothing wrong with spending 4 to 5 hours a day lurking and occasionally posting.

What do you mean “IRL?” This is my real life!

<Screaming at the top of my lungs, digging my heels in>

Let go of me. I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM!

So far the D.A. members are:

[in alphabetical order]
BigJoe
BratMan007
Brunetter
etgaw1
dropzone
Eve
Falcon
GaWd
Girlbysea
GolfWidow
Mr. Cynical
pluto
purplebear
Saint Zero
Silo
struuter
tatertot
Techchick68
Vestal Blue
winky99

Now, THIS is the thread that should have been named

“Most times you’ve done it in one day”

then we’d see some REAL numbers.
Myself, I’d love to join but I’m too busy working on this post at the moment…I’ll get back to ya.

Hi. My name is Smeghead.
<<Waits for chorus of, “Hi, Smeghead.” Nothing. Oh, yeah. Right.>>
And I’m a Dopeaholic.

Last Monday, I think it was…I forget…they all run together in my mind. Anyway, I was not only online, but either on the board or the chat room for close to 12 hours straight. I need help. I admit that. And I will check back here evey hour on the hour until I am cured, dammit!! I will be free!!

uh, isn’t that Cecil?

I have to admit, I’ve been weak - I’ve even sent out threads to unsuspecting friends, and if they get hooked, it’s on me…I’m new, but I’m hooked…