After reading the semi-hijack in my pit thread, I realized we have more than a few Gods and Goddesses here at the SDMB. Given the state of the world today, as Odinoneeye pointed out, we’ve been slacking.
I figured I’d call a Doper God High Council and we’d sort things out. As for you mortals, we’ll need some sacrifices. Ox thighs, doves, a virgin or two (if you can find one around here, which I seriously doubt) and some really good pizza ought to do. And don’t forget the drinks. Wine, mead, and some aquavit for the Norse pantheon. And while you’re at it, clean the place up, wouldya? We’re Gods for, um, God’s sake.
NOBODY sacrifices anymore. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice set of dove entrails show up in the mail. I’d love to join you for that cup of ambrosia. Maybe we can find a mortal or two to torment while we’re at it.
Hey, I make the proper sacrifices. They just happen to be to Odin. Nine animals (one of which must be a man) every night for nine nights, once a year. Each one hanged from a mighty limb, and stuck with a spear. I also try to make a sacrific of nine animals for every village that I conquer, but sometimes it can be tricky to find a living man. For this sacrifice to the Gallows Master he has granted my berserkers, as well as myself with strength and cunning. Praise to the All Father!