Doper Gods High Council

After reading the semi-hijack in my pit thread, I realized we have more than a few Gods and Goddesses here at the SDMB. Given the state of the world today, as Odinoneeye pointed out, we’ve been slacking.

I figured I’d call a Doper God High Council and we’d sort things out. As for you mortals, we’ll need some sacrifices. Ox thighs, doves, a virgin or two (if you can find one around here, which I seriously doubt) and some really good pizza ought to do. And don’t forget the drinks. Wine, mead, and some aquavit for the Norse pantheon. And while you’re at it, clean the place up, wouldya? We’re Gods for, um, God’s sake.

Well Athena we need to be slightly discreet as well, don’t forget that!

I caught some underlings the other day practicing Sparagmos in the lower court yard in my name…I had to stop them and correct their evil ways with a cask of wine and some cheese.

So please folks take care with rites and rituals…we don’t want to upset the upper echelon…

Discreet? When was a Greek God(dess) ever known to be discreet? I ain’t startin’ now, I’ll tell you that much.

About time we straightened out these foolish mortals!

Fine…you know what?..Just Fine! I’ll pull of of my Bacchae out of the Bacchanalia they have been waiting to attend all year…They’ll be pissed but I’ll do it.

Do I hear thunder?

Look…I did my part to keep the mortals in line. Or doesn’t anybody remember Midas anymore? I know they do…I see temples with his name on them in every town!

By the way…we decided at the last committee meeting to switch from wine to single-malt scotch. :smiley:

(How long can the Gods keep this up with no one to worship them?) :smiley:


My boy Dionysus has worshippers everywhere! Every morning-after, you hear his devotees chanting to the gods.

I was having my evil way with a cask of wine and a pepperoni stick last night when my wife walked in on us. Boy, was my face red.

You see…you see what happens when we let the mortals out without a leash. Imagine I had given them the gift of free association - or free thought for that matter! LOL! Now that would have been funny!

Now let the Pepperoni alone and give Uncle Bacchus the KY.

Nobody worships me anymore. pout You’d think the goddess of freaking LOVE would get some sacrifices, at least, but nooooo… hmmph

Hey, Athena? Cuppa ambrosia, over at Mt. Olympus sometime?

It’s possible my virginity may have grown back by now … is that acceptable?

Yup. And hey, I’ll go find my son Cupid and get him to find a nice target for you… :wink:

NOBODY sacrifices anymore. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice set of dove entrails show up in the mail. I’d love to join you for that cup of ambrosia. Maybe we can find a mortal or two to torment while we’re at it.

Sure thing, love. I’ve got the arrows, you pick the target. :wink:

Hey, I make the proper sacrifices. They just happen to be to Odin. Nine animals (one of which must be a man) every night for nine nights, once a year. Each one hanged from a mighty limb, and stuck with a spear. I also try to make a sacrific of nine animals for every village that I conquer, but sometimes it can be tricky to find a living man. For this sacrifice to the Gallows Master he has granted my berserkers, as well as myself with strength and cunning. Praise to the All Father!

I’ll vouch for Regallag’s sacrifices. He did them alright…he even sacrificed The Goat! :eek:

It worked out ok. Turns out we had gotten Tangrissnir mixed in with the last herd from Harry’s, and he was good as new the next day. Good thing, too, because we have a ton of initiations to do!

Will the nectar of the Gods do?

What about those of us who provide the background for the Solar One? :slight_smile:

Hail to Thee, Oh Athenia with the nifty orbs.

Please spare Nashville & the surrounding area! We hath raised a fane to thee!


And YOU’VE NEVER LOOKED BETTER! You lost a little weight, didn’t you?